Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.

Bigger isn't better

It all started off with Cana's comment.

"You really like showing off your breasts, don't you Gray?"

Said man instantly shot up from the table they were sitting at with a bunch of guildmates.

"What nonsense are you spouting, I don't have breasts, I – woah, when did my shirt come off?"

Giggling Cana continued to tease her prey.

"Of course, you don't need boobs, 'cause you're content enough with just fondling them, ne?"

At her words Mirajane's ears perked up: did she miss something?

"I never ever in my life fondled anyones breasts! DID YOU HEAR ME?"

Yeah, they heard him and half Magnolia should have too. A few sighs follwed, because a flushed ice alchemist had just effectively declared himself a virgin. And behind a pillar a sniffle could be heard.

"S-so touching Juvia's ch-chest meant nothing to G-G-Gray-sama. In spite of blushing, getting flu-lustered and apologizing so mu-mu-much, groping Juvia's br-breasts was not satisfying enough for Gr-Gray-sama." She wiped her tears and determination started to shine in her eyes. "It's my fault that they're not big enough, I must go and improve, to please Gray-sama!"

"Oi, wait!"

"So much fuss about boobs. We have enough big breasted ladies in this guild, what really counts is their ass. No woman can be called pretty without a beautiful bottom!"

"No, all that matters are their legs!"

"Ok, that's enough, we're getting out of here young lady. Now!"

While Wakaba and Macao started a meaningless fight over female body parts, Charle quickly dragged Wendy away, promising her an extra big slice of ice cream and Gray bolted out of the guild, hurring after Juvia.

The rain woman ran trough the streets of Magnolia and was shouting to god and the world about enlarging her breast for her beloved Gray-sama. The seemingly perverted ice mage tried to stop the bluenette by chasing her and – totally not aware of the bewildered stares they got – yelling furiously and desperate towards Juvia: "I like your boobs the way they are, they have just the right size! You hear me? I love your breasts!"

At the guild's table where everything had started, Natsu sat and nibbled his afternoonsnack, completely oblivious to the things happening around him. Until Happy snatched one of his fish-shaped chili-sauce filled takoyaki.

"You predatory cat! Give me back my food!"

When Natsu whiped around his arm reached out, with his hand ready to catch his feline friend.

But when he grabbed something warm and soft, he had to discover it was not the exceed he held in his hand, but one of Lucy's breasts.

The mages sitting around the table almost instantly stopped their bickering. All eyes were on the two teammates, while the blondes' face slowly turned tomato-red.

The dragonslayer said nothing, just kept staring at the stellarmage, wearing a facial expression that could be best decribed as serious with a hint of worriedness.

"Luce."

"Y-Y-Yes-s?"

"You really shouldn't be eating such big amounts of food. You're getting fat."

I wanted to keep it rated T, so I ended it here... ;)

A/N: Oh god, I can't believe I'm actually publishing this, I must've gone crazy xD This was just an idea that suddendly popped up in my head this evening and I just had to write it down and post it, before I change my mind again^^

And because I haven't published a story for months. "Unfortunately" I love reading fanfictions and writing reviews, but I'm lazy at writing my own stories :)

If you liked the story please leave a review and if you didn't like it please leave a review about what you disliked about it^^

[P.S.: I'm always squealing like crazy when I get a review, because I am so happy. So I wanted to say "thank you" to MewAqua1, Shiawase-usagichan and Rainbowcastle for reviewing my other story. Thank you :) ]

[P.P.S.: I edited it a little bit, 'cause I spotted some typos and words in places they shouldn't be :D Hope you don't mind^^]