Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto.
Warnings: None! Well, silliness… and some science. X-x
Science Says So, Dobe
"I am not uke, Sasuke-teme!"
Naruto pouted and narrowed his cerulean eyes at the raven.
"Yes you are. You just pouted. If you were seme, you wouldn't pout."
The blond changed his pout to a frown, and growled. "I didn't pout! I don't pout! Only girls pout!"
Sasuke rolled his eyes. The dobe pouted all the time. What was he talking about?
"Alright, dobe, I'll prove to you that you are indeed feminine. How about it?"
Naruto looked skeptical. "There's no way I'm girly, but for good measure, I'll show you just how masculine I am! Now how exactly am I going to do that…?"
The Uchiha picked up a small classroom-sized chair and placed it against the wall, so that the back of the chair was facing him. He then turned to Naruto, who looked rather confused.
"What are you doing, teme? How are you going to prove my masculinity with a chair?"
Sasuke sighed. "Dobe, just stand with your head against the wall, and hold the chair while it's still on the ground. Make sure your body is in an 'L' shape."
Naruto hovered awkwardly over the chair, still having no idea how this would prove that he was, in fact, seme. "Why?"
"A man's center of gravity is in his abdomen, and a woman's – or a man with a feminine figure's – center of gravity is in their hips," Sasuke stated, as if it were blatantly obvious. Seeing the look on his teammate's face, he decided to put it more clearly. "Basically, a man can't pick up the chair from that position, and a woman can."
Naruto thought about it for a moment, before nodding his head and smiling slightly. "I like it. Alright, I can prove I'm a man!"
Sasuke rolled his eyes, and Naruto bent over the chair, and concentrated really hard on the task ahead of him. Carefully, with ease, he lifted the chair up and smiled brightly. "See, teme? I did it! I'm manly!"
The raven snorted. "Dobe, if you can lift it up, that means you're feminine. Weren't you listening?"
"EH?!" Naruto's eyes widened in embarrassment. "W-Well, why don't you try it, Mr. High-and-Mighty?"
Sasuke frowned. "I'm an Uchiha. An Uchiha can do anything. If I were to attempt that, then it would be a lose-lose situation for me, so no. I will not try it. I'm quite happy with you as uke right now, anyway."
"Your stupid Uchiha pride can go to hell, and so can science!" Naruto yelled as he stomped out of the room (1) in a huff.
The Uchiha sighed and shook his head. "…Women."
A/N:
(1): Yes, they are in a room, but I don't know (or care) what room, so use your imaginations. I'm too lazy. And tired.
Please, someone give me a holler if they know what I'm talking about. It'll make me feel like I'm not the only one in the world who has become a science geek (even if this is all in my mind.) X-x
This actually popped into my head in the middle of science class. It's just a really short one shot to kick off my spring break. Yay, Spring break!
By the way, it's 1 a.m., so please forgive mistakes. -.-
REVIEW. (For the love of science.)
Ja.