A Little Bit of Both

Isabel Night

In the Nether Realm, there aren't many "common" cemeteries. In fact, when people die, they are usually buried in the earth close to the spot where he or she has lived most, if not all, of his or her life. So I guess, in a way, it's only fitting that Anubis be buried on the Castle Grounds. I go to his grave almost every day, but it doesn't make me happy. In fact, I'm starting to think about things I never questioned until after Talpa was defeated.

After Anubis died, the people in this realm tried to help us move on with our lives, but know what I see when I look into their eyes. For some people, all I see in their eyes is pity. In other people, all I see in their eyes is foolishness. Those that pity us do so because we, or so they say, acted like "normal" human beings, not heartless killers, when we lost Anubis and failed to save him. Then there are others who look at us as if we are the biggest fools in the entire realm. When Anubis left, they believe, we couldn't let him go. They say we were selfish, we couldn't, as the mortals say, "see the writing on the wall".

But maybe, it's a little bit of both. I lived with Cale, Sekhmet, and Anubis for 400 years, and while I know many mortals cannot comprehend that length of time, we lived every minute of it. We lived together, laughed, schemed, teased each other, pulled pranks, watched the sun and the two moons rise and fall, shared dreams, told each other about our nightmares, and even cried together. What insecurities we had on the battlefield, we could easily talk about it together afterwards in the castle. Although the killings and the massacres didn't bother me, I know it bothered Anubis. Of course, I could say that his sense of honor was disgusting, which at the time, it was, at least in my mental eyes, but it was that honor and code of conduct that made him our leader. It was that honor made him the type of person to confide in, laugh with, talk with, and a major force that helped us to be four "normal" human beings.

But as time passed, that friendship became a brotherhood. I saw myself as not only as the oldest Warlord, but the oldest brother. It was my job to take care of my "family" and make sure everything was okay. True, it's also part of my job as the oldest "brother" to protect the "family", but eventually, that job fell into Cale's hands. The security of "my family" was top priority, and I made sure that no one dared to challenge or undermine the bond we had. At least, that's how it was supposed to work, until that blasted monk and those five Ronin Brats entered into, what the mortals call, "the equation".

True, we've done bad things as Warlords, but when you tear a family apart, there is no forgiveness. I know our victims will never forgive us for tearing their families apart, but even now, so many centuries later, their deaths don't bother me as much as Anubis' death does. It's funny, I subjected people to an unforgivable act, and yet I couldn't, as the mortals say, "take what I dished out".

But when we lost Anubis, those that pity us say we acted like any normal person would. They say that Talpa never fully corrupted us because when we lost Anubis, we acted like any "normal" person would. But then again, there are those who say we couldn't, as the mortals say, "take the hint" when Anubis refused to come back with us. They say if we truly cared about him, we would've let him go and accepted his choice. But when it comes to "family", and I know I'm probably going to sound like a hypocrite, this excuse is invalid. When all four of us were growing up, we had been taught that the family is the core of society. Rebellion against that core is seen as a danger to society and a prelude to tragedy. Of course, even though times have changed, the three of us still hold on to that belief. I'll never know for sure if what we were taught was the real reason we couldn't accept Anubis leaving us, or if it was our emotions that played a role in taking him back to Talpa against his will, but maybe it's a mixture of both. Besides, if you were trying to hold onto the last thread of emotion, wouldn't you do everything in your power to hold on to that fragile thread?

So maybe, when they look at us in pity, or they look at us as if we were the biggest fools in the world, they think they see a black and white world. Unfortunately, the world isn't black and white, and when they do look at us with pity, or think we are fools, they don't realize that it's probably a little bit of both.

THE END