Untitled Secret Santa Gift
Written for: Tenshi no Nozomi
Warnings: Book 5 spoilers
Pairing: SiriusxUsagi
Edited: March 5th
Having realized the day before that he was not, in fact, the weapon Voldemort craved so desperately, Harry came down for breakfast with his spirits higher than they had been all week. Even the basement kitchen didn't seem as gloomy as usual despite the bare stone walls and cooking utensils hanging from the ceiling like shadowy torture devices.
With a bright smile and cheerful greeting, Mrs. Weasley passed him a plate nearly overflowing with bacon, eggs and toast as he slid into a chair between Ron and Sirius. The former appeared to be steadily working through a second helping and the latter had been in a remarkably cheerful mood since learning they were all staying for Christmas.
Ron glanced over, swallowed and complained, "Took you long enough, Harry. Mom was about to send me back upstairs to get you."
"Sorry," Harry replied distractedly. A slice of toast halfway to his mouth, most of his attention was focused on Sirius who was bent over a small piece of paper with a puzzled frown. "What's that?"
"Something from Dumbledore I got this morning," the dark-haired man murmured in reply, staring at it a moment longer before pushing it over to him.
Sirius,
Making arrangements for the delivery of a Christmas gift to arrive on the morning of the twenty-fifth.
Dumbledore
The words were slightly faded and the paper creased as though Sirius had handled it many times.
"A gift?" Harry asked. "What could Dumbledore get you?" Considering his current feelings towards the Headmaster, he had a bit of difficultly keeping the sharp edge out of his voice.
"Don't know," his godfather answered breezily, retrieving the note and stuffing it into his pocket. "Unless he's found a way to get me out of this house, I'm not sure I want it."
Apparently becoming aware how much that sounded like his old attitude, he jumped up and patted the two boys on the shoulder. "Well, no use worrying about it now. If I'm going to get this place ready for the holidays I better get back to cleaning. Eat up!"
He exited humming as Hermione and Ginny entered.
"Really," Mrs. Weasley scolded as they sat down, "I know you don't have classes but you four shouldn't sleep so late."
Ginny made a face and rolled her eyes, hiding the actions by piling bacon onto her plate. "Mom, would you relax? It's our break, we're not supposed to be straining ourselves. Plus, we've got to make up for all the rest classes take away from us."
"Yes, well, you shouldn't be wasting time either." Frowning thoughtfully, she placed a platter of toast in the center of the table with a bit more force than necessary. "I think you should all help Sirius after you're done. It'd be a good way to pay him back for letting us stay here."
"Mum," Ron started to complain around a mouthful of food.
"Don't you talk with your mouth full, young man!"
This proved to be a slight problem as Ron had so much food in his mouth that he nearly choked getting it all down. Finally, he recovered enough to say, "Mum, Sirius wants us to enjoy ourselves!"
"And you can. After you've helped him freshen this place up a bit." The look she gave them was firm, a clear indication that there would be no further discussion.
A little annoyed, they found themselves standing at the threshold of a large, unused bedroom, made smaller by the sheer amount of junk that had been packed into it. Two massive dressers, twin nightstands, an enormous curio cabinet with cracked glass panels, and a long wooden chest all surrounded a four poster bed that could have easily accommodated the quartet.
Sirius, Fred and George were currently digging through the chest and throwing the contents into various piles.
Fred took one look at their expressions and grinned. "Mom got you too, huh?"
"Yeah," Ron muttered, kicking at the bed and eyeing it when it gave a shudder.
"Who knows what mischief you'll get up to with all this time on your hands!" George mimicked. "Thankfully, there's some great rubbish in here. We figure we might be able to use some of it for our business."
"But only what I approve," Sirius added, giving them a stern look. "Some of this stuff is too dangerous for fully trained Wizards, much less students."
The twins rolled their eyes at each other and waved this away. "We know, we know. Anyway, stop standing there and start helping us, you guys."
It soon became apparent how everything was being separated: junk (everything that wasn't dangerous), Fred and George's stuff (everything that might have been dangerous but was safe and interesting enough for them to take a closer look at), and suspicious items (everything that was Sirius deemed off limits and/or tried to attack them).
Whoever had previously occupied the room had been something of a packrat; Harry couldn't remember the last time he had ever seen so many odds-and-ends gathered in one place, everything from a pair of crocheting needles that tried to get into Hermione's hair to a hundred buttons as large as silver dollars that started to burn whenever they were held too long.
Eventually Sirius decided there was probably nothing dangerous enough to worry about left in the chest and went to tackle the curio cabinet with Ron, Hermione, and Harry.
"Who lived in here?" Ron asked, peering queasily at a dagger that appeared to have fresh blood on the blade.
"No idea," Sirius replied, smashing an already broken vase against the wall; it had tried to stab him the instant he opened the doors. "Knowing my parents I wouldn't be surprised it they had let a host of Death Eaters use this place over the years."
Harry picked up a small photo album and flipped rapidly through the empty pages, inadvertently raising a cloud of sweet smelling dust that set them all into a coughing fit. Dropping it proved the wrong thing to do; with a loud whoosh it emitted an even larger cloud that quickly filled the entire room. Even when Sirius dispersed it with his wand it was nearly five minutes until their eyes to stop watering and the nausea that accompanied it to fade.
"Why in the world would anyone want an album like that?" Hermione questioned, wiping at her eyes on her sleeve.
"I don't—Hey, what's this?"
Ron crouched down and snatched up a picture that must have been stuck between two pages, smoothing it down against his knee. The girl in the picture, her blonde hair pulled up into twin spheres with trailing ponytails, yawned at him widely before going back to sleep against the edge of the image.
"Not the most active photo I've ever seen," Harry commented, leaning over his friend's shoulder.
"Hey, Ron, hand that here, will you?"
Something in Sirius's voice made Harry look up sharply. His godfather's face was curiously blank, giving no hint to what he was thinking, and when Ron handed him the picture he stared at it with the same expression.
"You know," Sirius said slowly, "I think we've done enough for today. Why don't you kids go and play cards or something?"
His attitude had left the mood in the room oddly tense and no one was hesitant to leave.
Over the next few days Sirius was in a contagiously good mood, decorating and cleaning for hours at a time and occasionally going so far as to burst into song. Not once did he mention the photograph or Dumbledore's note, but Harry had caught him gazing distractedly at both and was sure they were kept in his pocket at all times.
Still, he didn't give it too much about it until Christmas morning when, around three o'clock, the doorbell rang and Mrs. Black woke the house with her screams.
"Filth! Mongrels! Scum befouling the house of my fathers! How dare you—"
"I've told them about waking that old bat up!" Snarling, Sirius rolled out of bed and ran out the room, nearly throwing himself down the stairs in his haste to get to the entry hall.
A few of his guests peered out from behind cracked doors groggily, the others choosing instead to burrow under the covers and pull their pillows over their heads. He snapped at them to go back to sleep as he passed, not waiting long enough to hear any reply.
He decided to take care of his mother first, hoping that however was outside would have the common sense to wait patiently and not try the doorbell again.
The instant her crazed, rolling eyes landed on him her shrieks grew louder and more deranged, spittle dripping for her mouth. "You! Blood traitor! Disgrace to my name!"
"Shut up, shut up!"
"How dare you show your face—!"
He was so sick of this. If they didn't find a way to prevent this uproar from happening every time someone came over he was going to burn this thing, no matter what anyone said.
After straining so hard he thought he might have ruptured something, he finally managed to shut the curtain covering the frame and stalked over to the door, throwing it open angrily.
"What is so important that you had to wake us up?"
Startled, the visitor turned from her examination from the streets to regard him with achingly familiar blue eyes. His heart constricted so painfully he might have stopped breathing.
"Ah, Sirius, I…" She paused and stared at him, possibly looking for some sign of how she could continue. He couldn't help her there, though; shock had temporarily struck him dumb, stopping all thoughts and stealing his voice away. "I heard you got out a while ago but…"
He surprised himself by speaking. "How'd you get here?"
"Oh, Dumbledore brought me here." She gestured absently towards the empty street without looking away from him, though the man was now long gone. There was a slight question in her voice when she added, "He said you'd be expecting me."
Making arrangements for the delivery of a Christmas gift… Old man's too bloody clever for his own good.
"Well," he said after a moment, stepping aside and waving her in, "come on in, Usagi."
They soon found themselves sitting across from each other at the kitchen table, enveloped in an awkward silence. She alternated between sneaking glancing at him and staring down at her untouched tea, but after not seeing her in over fourteen years he had a hard time looking away.
Having her in front of him made him realize just how much his memory paled in comparison to the real thing. He had, occasionally, allowed himself to reminisce about her since getting out of Azkaban, but it was usually too painful to do for long. Having her near summoned a number of complicated, conflicting emotions and he was finding it hard to keep himself under control, to resist simply giving in and getting them out of his system.
The silence was beginning to grate on his nerves. "So," he said, the abruptness making her jump, "I suppose Dumbledore told you everything?"
She shrugged nervously and didn't meet his eyes. "He told me about the Order and what really happened to Peter all those years ago, but he never really tells anyone everything, does he?"
"Yeah, he wouldn't want you to think you were staying with a murder," he muttered bitterly, glaring at his teacup.
"Do you really think I'd believe that about you?" Quiet as it was, her voice managed to carry an incredible amount of hurt.
"I wouldn't hold it against you, you know. The whole world thought the same thing."
"Well, I don't care what the rest of the world thought, I didn't believe it."
The statement caused a flush of warm emotions to run through him, but he felt too as if he almost should have expected it. Sometimes, she could be ridiculously trusting. "You know, I was really in love with you."
Unable to come with a reply she simply blushed.
"And what about you? I suppose you've moved on, got a nice husband, a kid or two?"
"Sirius—"
"No, I want you to tell me; you've got to tell me," he interrupted firmly. Just the idea that she might answer positively sent all his control flying out of the window, but he couldn't help it. It wasn't that he had been in love with her he was and if she didn't return those feeling he couldn't handle having her around. He was aware of how selfish it sounded but to be so close and unable to touch her would drive him insane.
James gone, Lily gone, and now Dumbledore brought her back, the one girl he'd longed for more than anyone during those long years at Azkaban, and dangled her in front of him like—
"Of course I will, but there's no need to snap at me." She was frowning at him, expression upset and confused, and that just made him angrier. It was ridiculous that she could be so clueless, didn't she see the problem?
"Just answer the question!" Glaring fiercely, he stood up so quickly his chair was sent clattering to the floor. "Or better yet if you are married then just get out now because I won't be letting you stay here."
She alternately paled and flushed before standing up and facing him determinedly, undaunted by how he towered over her tiny frame. "No, I'm not married. What's wrong with you?"
"What's wrong with me? Do you know how much I've wanted to see you over the years? To touch you? To—" Unable to properly explain himself he gestured violently and declared, "Since you walked inside I've just barely restrained myself from throwing you against the wall and ravishing you!"
Usagi had always been one of the people able to handle his temper and she displayed the talent as comprehension rushed over her face by saying simply, "Sirius, I love you."
A wonderful, indescribable feeling replaced the wrath that had overtaken him and he could only stare in silence as she continued.
"I've loved you ever since the first time you kissed me and never stopped." She looked at him through watering eyes—he'd made her cry?—and smiled weakly, shaking hands grasping at her robes. "When Dumbledore told me I could finally see you I was so happy. I…I really wanted our first meeting to go better, I wanted to tell you how much I missed you and loved you and how glad I was that you were out, but when you opened the door I just couldn't…"
He moved forward as she started to sob and wrapped his arms around her, burying his head into her hair. "I'm sorry, I'm so damn sorry, don't cry, don't cry. God, I'm so stupid."
Eventually, things calmed down and the situation between them became much more agreeable. In the future, no matter how often he looked back and examined the night, Sirius was never entirely sure how everything worked itself out. It was as if that one outburst was the only thing needed to bring them back together, though he couldn't understand how it hadn't damaged their relationship instead. Still, he didn't let himself worry about it, content to spend the next few hours making up for lost time.
To say that Mrs. Weasley was shocked when she came into the kitchen would have been an understatement; the poor woman came very close to fainting when she spotted them and had to spend several minutes leaning against the doorframe fanning herself before she recovered.
In retrospect, Sirius supposed they should have left the kitchen before getting reacquainted. If only she had come in a come in an hour ago when they had actually been talking…
They had to return to the real world, of course, and make introductions as everyone woke up, a process which went along with varying degrees of awkwardness. After Molly got over her initial shock, the rest of the Weasleys and Hermione accepted Usagi without too much fuss, though he could have lived without Fred and George's knowing looks and sly winks.
Harry was a little more complicated. The teen had rather testy this year and his expression showed that he was unsure how to properly greet the woman who, under better circumstances, would have been his godmother. Sirius made a mental note to talk to him later and make sure everything was all right.
Finally, however, everyone left to see Arthur at St. Mungo's and they were left alone, choosing to lay out and relax on his bed rather than risk Kretcher sneaking up on them somewhere else.
With Usagi curled up at his side, half-asleep, Sirius amused himself by running his fingers through one of her ponytails, his mind, for the most part, comfortably blank. After an undetermined length of time a thought occurred that caused him to speak up.
"Guess I've got to thank Dumbledore. Maybe I'll send him a gift…"
"Socks."
"Why socks?"
"You can never have too many socks."
As he began to drift off into sleep, Sirius supposed Dumbledore did deserve a pair or two. The old man was crazy but in the end he wasn't all bad.
Author Notes: Written for the secret santa exhange over at the 30 houshin LiveJournal community.