Pitch stalked through his lair and plotting his revenge when a great plan, at least in his opinion, hit him nearly knocking him to the ground with the force it hit him. He started cackling in evil laughter, "Muhahahahahahahaha…ack hairball." After he had hacked up the hairball in his throat Pitch angrily screamed out for his 'evil' sidekick though he had to question how evil the furball really was. "GROUNDHOG GET IN HERE NOW!"
"Yes master, coming master." The groundhog stammered as he came running into the main part of Pitch's lair. "Is there something you need me to do for you master?" He eagerly asked willing to please The Nightmare King.
"What is that?" Pitch demanded to know as he pointed to the hairball he hacked up.
The groundhog glanced at where Pitch was pointing. "It looks like a hairball master."
"I know that idiot! What I want to know is why I even hacked it up in the first place…wait. YOU WERE GROOMING YOURSELF ON MY BED AGAIN WEREN'T YOU! YOU KNOW I HAVE TOLD YOU NOT TO DO THAT! I HATE IT WHEN YOU DO THAT IT IS SO DISGUSTING!" He ranted as he paced in front of the groundhog, throwing a mild tantrum.
The groundhog whimpered as he cowered pressing his body as much as it would go against the ground. "I'm sorry master I won't do it again."
"You better not or you'll have to find yourself someplace else to live now clean this up and get out of my sight, I have plans to make for my revenge against the Guardians especially Jack Frost for humiliating me in our last battle." Pitch sneered as he turned his back on the groundhog.
"Really Pitch, when are you going to learn that revenge is never the answer? Instead of plotting how to get back at us you should work on getting along with us, you know for the whole balance between good and evil thing." Jack stated as he whacked Pitch across the head with his staff and freezing his hair.
"Ow, why would you do that?" Pitch whined as he fell dramatically to the ground in tears and holding his head.
"Oh come on I didn't hit you that hard you drama queen… oops I meant King." Jack taunted as he hovered in the air above Pitch, rolling his eyes.
"He did not just say that?" Bunny muttered as the rest of the Guardians snickered, trying to hide their laughter at Jack's taunt.
"I think he did." Tooth answered before covering her mouth and turning away as her whole body shook with held back laughter.
Pitch sniffled as he got back to his feet, "You…you're a big meanie Jack, I don't want to play with you anymore." He howled before slinking off into the nearest shadow returning to his lair to lick his wounds, his tail tucked between his legs.
Yes, I just made fun of the Boogeyman, Pitch Black, and it felt good to show him I'm not scared of him! Hope you enjoy this little parody I wrote and am dedicating it to Jaymebell for it was her/him that inspired me to write this. This one shot is a companion piece for Ombric's new ward.