I'd like to take a second to set this story up before you begin reading. This tale picks up the day after the big FTI blowup and before Arnold goes off to the jungles of San Lorenzo in search of his parents because I figured that once the new movie comes out it could change the whole storyline as we know it, which would probably then take this rendition in a whole different direction. In my story Arnold, Helga and the gang are not 4th graders but are actually at the end of their 8th grade year, two weeks from the end of the school year, getting ready to move on to High School, (PS118, in this story, is a K-8th school) which now puts them around the ages of 14 or there abouts. As you will probably gather as you read, this is my first attempt at any kind of fan fiction. Starting in chapter 2 you will notice the reoccurring theme of what becomes "their song" which is "Say You Won't Let Go" by James Arthur. Cliché or not, I chose this song firstly because of the lyrics. I mean, come on, they have Helga written all over them. I can imagine her, a 14 year-old-girl, lying across her bed at night listening to the song, visions of Arnold running through her head. Secondly James Arthur's voice. OMG, that voice. Then thirdly, just picture it, the two of them in a close embrace, Arnold singing softly in her ear. Oh yeeeahhh. You may not care, but I feel it's important to tell you this because I would use this song to keep reminding me of how deep both their feelings are running throughout the story. It was my muse I guess you could say. So try to keep it in your head, running in the background whenever Helga and Arnold start getting close. When it comes to any actual facts about Hey Arnold I have tried to stick as close to what I know and keep it as factual as possible. Needless to say, I claim no rights whatsoever, in any way to anything related to the HA franchise or the song Say You Won't Let Go. I'm obviously not that talented. I hope you enjoy my vision and I'd love to hear your comments, be gentle please, Helga's not the only one with tender feelings. Enjoy….

Desire

Chapter I

Part 1

She stood in the middle of the street, the destruction from the previous day's events are everywhere she looks. It has the look of a war zone, nothing left but battered buildings and torn up streets. "Oh well," she thinks to herself, "at least no houses were destroyed and what has been affected can always be rebuilt." It's eerily quiet as she waits for her good friend Phoebe to show up. Her fingers absentmindedly play with the locket that hangs beneath her clothing as the conversation she had with Arnold those last few moments on the FTI building run through her head. "Damn Football Head," she whispers to herself.

"What'd you say?" She hears from behind her. The unexpected sound startles her. She quickly dropped her hand from her locket and turned around, mentally kicking herself for her bad habit of always expressing her most secret thoughts out loud.

"Oh, it's you, Phoebe".

"Were you expecting someone else?" she asked, raising one eyebrow in suspicion.

"No, no, of course not!" Helga replied almost too quickly.

"Oh, well, what was it you said as I was walking up? I couldn't hear you."

"Nothing, I was just talking to myself, you know."

Helga turns back to the broken street, once again reaching for the hidden locket. A concerned look spreads across Phoebe's face as she walks to stand beside her friend.

"Helga, are you ok?"

She doesn't answer at first but then decides that if you can't trust your closest and best of friends with allll your deepest, darkest secrets, then who can you trust. She speaks without looking at Phoebe, not wanting to see the look of pity in her eyes over what she's about to say.

"I told him." was all she said.

There was no need for an explanation. They had known each other long enough, had been best friends long enough for Phoebe to know exactly who "he" was and what it was she had finally had to courage to confess.

"No!" Phoebe exclaimed, a hand reaching out and nudging Helga in disbelief. "When!? Where!? Why!?"

"Yesterday. We were on the roof of the FTI building. He had gotten the evidence needed to put that bastard Scheck away for good. He and Gerald didn't know I was the one who had been helping them. Well, at one point I was warning him not to leave the building yet when I guess he saw me through a window and he came out demanding to know who it was that had been helping them. I tripped and my disguise slipped and he saw me. You can imagine his shock as he tried to figure out why someone like me, who always claims to hate everybody, would want to help. I tried to avoid answering him but he just kept it up, asking why! Why! WHY! Arrrgh! I couldn't take it anymore, I snapped and before I knew what I was saying, I was saying it. 'Because I LOVE you dammit, I've always loved you!' I screamed right into his face. Not only did I bare my deepest, darkest secret to him, I kissed him. Right there, in the rain, on the lips," she sighs now, "on the roof."

"Oh my, what happened next? What did he say? How was the kiss? Right there in the middle of your escape? Did he kiss you back?"

With a shrug of her shoulders Helga turned and they slowly headed towards City Park.

"That's the thing Pheebs, he didn't say anything, not one word. He just stood there in shock, looking like he was going to be sick. The feelings were obviously not mutual. I was mortified, I wanted to disappear right there, on the spot. I prayed that lightening would strike me down, leaving nothing but a puddle of wet ash."

"Oh Helga, surely he had to say something to you."

"Yeah, he finally did."

"See, I knew it, what'd he say?"

"He said…..'Uhh, we'd better be going, Gerald's waiting.'"

They had reached the park now and had taken a seat on the bench under what Helga had come to think of as "her" tree, and why shouldn't she, after all the time she spent perched up in it spying on her favorite football headed subject.

"Oh," Phoebe quietly replied as she sat.

Helga took a deep, cleansing breath, and continued with her story. "After we made it back, and after all the commotion was over and everyone went their separate ways we stood there together. Right on the spot where you found me this morning. It took every fiber of my being to look at him. I didn't want to, but I did. I stood there looking at him, not knowing where to go from there. I'd never felt so…..embarrassed."

Phoebe sat in silence as she let her friend relive her story, hoping that in doing so it might somehow help ease her pain.

"It felt as if we stood there for an eternity before he finally spoke up. 'Uh, about what happened earlier up on the roof', he said. All I could think of to say was 'Yeah, I guess I said some pretty strange stuff'. He looked at me and said, 'You didn't really mean all that stuff you said, did you?'"

Eyes wide, dying to know, Phoebe asked "What did you tell him?"

"What could I say? It was obvious he didn't return the feelings. It was obvious that I had made a grade A, number one jackass of myself! What else could I do but agree with what he said. I agreed that it was just said in the heat of the moment and that I really didn't mean it."

"But Helga!" Phoebe replied, "That was your chance! That was your chance to let him know that yes, that is EXACTLY how you feel! Oh Helga, why didn't you tell him?"

"Why didn't I tell him?" She exclaimed as she jumped up. "Why didn't I, again, for a second time, open my soul to him and bare it all? Laying myself before him just so he could stomp on me like I was a rug! Wipe his dirty boots on me then kick me aside like I was nothing!" Helga was screaming now, all of her embarrassment and fury tumbling out of her mouth. Stopping her tirade she bowed her head and with shoulders slumping she sat back down. "I just couldn't bring myself to do it Pheebs. I couldn't handle a second rejection." A tear slipped from her eye, revealing how deeply she'd been hurt.

After a few minutes Helga stared off into the distance and said, "I'm leaving." Phoebe turned to her and looked at her in disbelief but without interrupting. Another minute went by before Helga continued.

"We have family in California. I've decided to fly down and spend the summer with them. I-I can't stay here right now. There's just two weeks left before we graduate and can finally say good-bye to good 'ole PS118. I spent the last 9 years there chasing after an unobtainable goal and I'm done."

Although she was saddened at the thought of not having her best friend around to hang out with for the two and a half months of summer Phoebe understood Helga's need to get away right now.

"I'll miss you Helga, but I understand what you're saying. I just hope you don't decide to stay in California and not come back." She looks over at her friend when she fails to respond. "Helga, you are planning on coming back, right?"

"I'm not making any promises Pheebs. All I can promise right now is that I'm leaving with the intention of coming back but that could change."

Phoebe's heart sinks at the possible thought of having to go through four years of high school without her best friend but she tries to put up a cheery facade. "Well, we still have two weeks before school and the graduation dance to look forward to that Saturday."

"Heh," Helga huffed, "Don't count on me showing up for that dance, wild horses won't be able to drag me there."

"But Helga, you HAVE to go! It's going to be our last hurrah before becoming high schoolers! You'll be missed if you don't show up."

"Missed? By whom? Who's going to miss me besides you? Brainy I suppose, but he'll survive. Besides, you'll be all swept away by Geraldo to even notice I'm not there."

Part 2

As the two boys made their way towards City Park Gerald couldn't help but notice that he was being ignored.

"Man Arnold, what's got you so glued to your phone? You haven't uttered one word since we left the boarding house."

"I don't get it Gerald, I've been texting her all morning and she won't respond to any of my messages." Arnold replied in complete frustration.

"Texting who? Lila?"

"No, Helga."

"Helga?"

"Yes, Helga."

"Helga Pataki?"

"Yes."

"Helga G. Pataki?"

"YES, Helga G. Pataki! What, are you hard of hearing all of a sudden?"

"Oh no, I heard you loud and clear, but the question that needs to be answered is Why? Why are you so hell bent on talking to her?"

"Because."

"Because why?"

"Because I need to know if she's ok."

"Well, she looked fine yesterday as she stormed off towards her house. Why are you wasting your time worrying about her anyway? When was the last time she bothered to care about you, or anyone else for that matter?"

With frustration growing into irritation, Arnold shoved his phone into his pocket. "Never mind, you wouldn't get it anyway."

"Whatever you say, Arnold."

Reaching the gates of City Park Gerald scans the scene for Pheobe.

"Well, you don't have to worry about Helga texting you back, you can just ask her whatever it is you want to in person."

Arnold follows Gerald's gaze, a relieved smile forming on his lips as he sees the two girls sitting on the bench deep in conversation.

Phoebe looks up and as she spies Gerald, the smile on her lips falter as she notices that Arnold is with him.

"Uh-oh," she says. "Now Helga, stay calm but you need to know. Arnold is with Gerald."

"What!" Helga exclaimed as she looks up and sees the two boys making their way over to where they are sitting.

She turns to Phoebe, grabbing her by the shoulders and looks her straight in the eye. "Listen, Pheebs, I don't want you saying a word of what we talked about to anyone, ok. Not one word of my leaving until after graduation. Once the dance starts you can let people know where I went but not one word before! Ok?"

"Ok Helga, ok!"

"Promise me!"

"I promise."

"Ok. Now, forget everything we just talked about."

Phoebe let out a sigh. "Forgetting."

Helga got up to leave just as the boys were approaching. Gerald slid down onto the bench next to Phoebe, giving her a flirty raise of his eyebrows which immediately brought a flush to her cheeks. He enjoyed getting a reaction out of her and thought that that was probably what he loved most, that even though they've been an exclusive couple for almost two years now he could still make her blush with just a look.

"Helga! Wait up a minute!" Arnold yelled as he ran after her. Reaching her he grabs her by the arm stopping her from making a quick retreat.

At the touch of his hand on her bare arm she feels that familiar shiver run down her spine and takes a deep breath to steady herself before hitting his hand away. "How many times do I have to tell you not to touch me Football Head!"

"Geeze Helga, I'm sorry," He said as he removed his hand. "But I've been trying to get a hold of you all morning."

"What could you possibly need to talk to me about so badly?" She gruffly replied.

"Well," he started, suddenly at a loss for words. "I just wanted to make sure you were ok after everything that went on yesterday."

"Of course you did." Helga thought to herself. "Why would anyone expect anything less from you, Mr. I just want to make everybody happy".

"I'm fine," she huffed. Why wouldn't I be?"

"I just needed to make sure." He said, starting to get a little annoyed by her attitude.

"Well, here I am, in the flesh, just fine." She replied sarcastically. "Anything else you need before I get the hell out of here?"

He thought for a minute, wondering if now was really the best time to bring up such a sensitive subject, but he figured he may as well, since he's got her here.

"Actually, Helga, there is something else. It's about yesterday, we really should talk about what happened up on the roof of the FTI building."

Helga cringed at his words. "Oh God, why on earth is he bringing that up!" She thought.

A wall of defensiveness shot up around her, not allowing anything to break through to hurt her. She brushed him off and turned to leave stating bluntly that there was nothing to talk about.

"I'm not letting this go Helga, we will talk about it sooner or later!" He yelled after her as she stormed off.

Part 3

She did a fair job of avoiding him for the two weeks that were left of the school year. She became very good at the art of aversion, always finding an empty classroom or unlocked janitor's closet to duck into whenever she'd see him approaching. Whenever he'd try to get her attention in class she would give him some lame excuse about needing to pay attention to what the teacher was saying. After a few days of her ignoring his constant texting he got the hint and gave up.

She was almost in the clear, just one more day then she'd be hightailing it out of town on her way to sunny California where she could finally think. She would have made it too, if it wasn't for the one time she let her guard down. It was the very last day of school. She had stayed behind when her last class let out to make sure she had packed up all her stuff when he walked into the room, standing in the doorway, blocking her only means of escape.

"Well, well," He said as he stood there, arms crossed in front of his chest.

She looked up quickly, muttering a quick "Goddammit" to herself before turning around to look at him. She picked up her backpack and made her way to the door.

"Move it Football Head." She said gruffly as she tried furtively to push past him.

"No, Helga, not until we talk."

"I told you, Hair Boy, there's nothing to talk about." She could feel herself starting to lose her composure. She couldn't take being so close to him, his body not even an inch from hers. The intoxicating smell that was her beloved filling her senses, starting to make her dizzy. She had to come up with something that would make him move before she lost all control and ran the risk of making a second spectacle of herself in front of him just as she had that day on the roof top.

"Tell you what Arnoldo, if you promise to get out of my way right now and let me go, I promise we can talk about whatever you want the next time we see each other. Okay?" She held her breath, praying he'd say yes.

"Well….," He knew he should say no but he felt bad forcing her to stay, so, hoping he didn't regret his choice he said, "Ok, we won't talk now, we can talk tomorrow, after graduation, at the dance, 7:00, don't be late!"

"The dance?" She said. She had all but forgotten about the graduation dance.

"Yes!" Arnold said, a huge grin appearing on his face, "The dance! You can be my date! I'll meet you there right after graduation. We can talk, it'll be great!" Excited now by the thought of finally being able to spend some time with her he quickly hugged her before hurrying off.

Unable to utter a word, she stood there, stunned. Her hand going to the locket under her shirt. "Oh Arnold," she whispered. Her heart breaking at the thought of him at the dance, waiting for her and her not showing up. "I'm so sorry".

Graduation had gone off without a hitch. The gang had a couple of hours to kill before the big dance and everyone was off preparing for it. By the time 7:00 had rolled around the school's smelly gym had been transformed into a world of wonder. It was amazing what a few lights and some cheap Dollar Store decorations could do. Tables had been set up with punch and finger foods and there was even a DJ, the beat of the music drawing the kids in.

Arnold had arrived early, wanting to be there when Helga showed up. It surprised him to discover how nervous he was. His sweaty palms needing constant wiping on his suit jacket. His heart was beating so fast he thought she'd better get there soon before it beat its way out of his chest. Never in his life would he ever expect just the thought of Helga to affect him this way. He'd done a lot of thinking over the past two weeks and had a lot to say to her. For about the tenth time he glanced up at the door searching for her face. This time he sees not her face, but the face of his best friend as he struts into the building along with his blushing girlfriend. They see him and make their way over.

"Hey, man," Gerald says. The two guys bump knuckles as they perform their special handshake. "how's it going?"

Distractedly He gives Gerald a quick "It's all good, man" then turns his attention to Phoebe." Hey Pheobe, have you heard from Helga? She should be here by now."

She could see in his eyes how anxious he was and truly regretted what she was about to say.

"Um, Arnold," she said, feeling just awful to be the one to have to be the bearer of bad news. "I'm so sorry to have to say this, but I'm afraid Helga's not going to be showing up tonight."

"What!" Arnold exclaimed, his heart dropping to his stomach.

It was now 7:30, her flight had been delayed by an hour. She was hoping she'd be in the air and well on her way by the time the dance came around. She sat back in her seat, looking out the window, watching as the city grew smaller and smaller beneath her. With her heart breaking she pulled down the shade with one hand as her other hand came up and pulled the small pink bow she had been wearing out of her hair. Without thinking she let it drop to her feet. As she closed her eyes a tear slowly slid down her cheek, the interior lights of the plane's cabin sparkling off of it.

A/N Wow Helga, way to leave Arnold hanging. Will she come back home, or will he have to go to California to get her? We'll find out in Chapter 2. I'd love to hear your thoughts, feel free to comment.