AN: This story is based off the song "If You Were Gay" from the musical Avenue Q. I highly recomend listening to the song at some point because it is a hilarious song.

Disclaimer: I do not own Tales of Vesperia nor do I own anything from Avenue Q

'It seems like a Commandant's work is never done, especially with Yuri getting into trouble all the time. But right now, he is not in trouble and I have no work to do, so I am going to read my favorite book in my nice comfy chair behind my desk,' thought Flynn as he sat down and opened his book.

"Flynn, you in here?" said a voice, as the owner opened the door and walked in.

'So much for reading my book and relaxing.' "Hi, Yuri." Flynn smiled politely as he closed his book and laid it on his desk.

"So guess what just happened to me in the hallway," Yuri said as he made his way toward Flynn.

"What," Flynn groaned out and not enjoying the fact that Yuri interrupted his book.

"Well one of the knights was talking to me and smiling at me. I think he was flirting with me and he may have thought that I was gay."

'I only wish,' thought Flynn. "So why are you telling me this. Why should I care?" Flynn replied defensively. He didn't need to know that other guys were flirting with Yuri, unless Yuri was his but that wasn't going to happen. Since Yuri wasn't gay.

"Geez Flynn," replied Yuri, "you don't need to get so defensive."

"I am not getting defensive!" snapped Flynn, trying not to get annoyed with Yuri and trying not to seem defensive. He was failing both of those miserably.

"Flynn, I am hurt," Yuri gave Flynn a fake sad and hurt face as he put a hand to his heart. "I thought that this is something we should be able to talk about."

"Yuri, this is something we don't need to talk about," snapped Flynn, his patience running thin.

Suddenly cheesy musical like music started to play.

'What's with this music,' thought Flynn.

"Well okay Flynn," started Yuri with a smile on his face. "But just to let you know."

Flynn looked up and noticed the music becoming oddly louder.

"If you were gay," started singing Yuri, "that'd be okay. I mean cause hey, I'd like you anyway. Because you see, if it were me, I would feel free to say that I was gay (but I'm not gay)."

"Yuri, I am trying to read and please stop with the dumb singing." Flynn tries to go back to reading but could feel Yuri's eyes staring at him and that cheesy musical like music still playing in the background. After a few seconds of Yuri staring at him, Flynn decides to look up and comes eye to eye with Yuri, a smile playing on Yuri's lips as he continued on with his song.

"If you were queer," singed Yuri.

"Yuri!"

"I'd still be here, year after year, because you are dear to me," Yuri singed while dancing around the room.

"Yuri, I am trying to relax!" snapped Flynn.

Yuri ignored him and continued. "And I know that you would accept me too, if I told you today 'Hey guess what I'm gay.' But I'm not gay."

"I'm happy," Yuri starts dancing around Flynn's desk, "Just being with you. So what should it matter to me what you do in bed with guys?"

"Yuri, stop it," snapped a blushing Flynn.

Yuri still ignored Flynn and continued on. "If you were gay, I'd shout hooray! And here I'd stay but I wouldn't get in your way. You can count on me to always be." Yuri then sang a high note that cracked the windows in Flynn's office. "Beside you everyday, to tell you it's okay. You were just born that way and as they say, it's in your DNA, you're gay!"

"Yuri!" shouted Flynn

"If you were gay," quickly finished Yuri with a smile on his face.

"Argh!"

"Commandant, please wake up!" Flynn heard as he was slowly waking from his nap. "Commandant, please wake up, you still have work to do," said the person shaking him awake.

Flynn looked up and saw Sodia standing beside his desk, shaking him by the shoulder with one hand and a pile of papers in the other.

"Here is the form that will allow Yuri Lowell to be released from jail today just like you requested," Sodia said, handing the Flynn the top form and setting the rest on his desk.

Flynn looked at the form and then up at Sodia with a smile on his face. "Sodia, please give me this form in a week and don't let Yuri out of jail until I sign it."

"Yes sir," Sodia replied, with a smile on her face as she walked out of the room with Yuri's release form in her hands.

'This is payback for that horrible nightmare I had about you, Yuri,' Flynn thought to himself as Sodia left the room.