I Wish.
"Is that why you chose him over me, your pride, really?"
Did I choose Noah for my pride, no. Did I choose him because he was the right choice and because he would never hurt me, maybe? Did I choose him because he was the opposite of him, yes. I hoped that it would get me over him instead those subtle differences just reminded me of what I missed and what I wanted.
"I love ya, Stephan…"
I wish he'd said it earlier before all the heartache and the bruises. I wish I was stronger, that I could walk away from him and never look back.
"That's what I didn't tell ya."
I wish things were different that we could just love each other with no worries, or me worrying about the consequences or where the next hit will land.
"I love ya."
I wish I didn't feel anything when he spoke those three words, but I do, they hit me and cut me deeper than any knife, they slice me open and carve into my soul.
"Well It's too late." But it wasn't and it never would be, I would wait forever for that man.
"Tell me you don't love me anymore." I can't out of al the things I can lie about that is one I can't.
"Don't…" Please just let me go cause if you come any nearer I may just break, I'll crumble and fall apart.
"I want you Stephen, tell me you want me, please."
And I do more than anything else I want him, I want it so much it hurts, it hurts me more than the beatings ever could. And I wish it didn't matter I really do. I wish I didn't care.
"Every day until I'm in my grave you will always be in my head Stephen."
I wish, I wish, I wish. But what I wish for the most is that he'd never stop that he meant those words and that we'd be together forever, and so I gave in I took a chance and I kissed him, and now I just have to hope that all those wishes and all those doubts will disappear. Cause I do love Brendan Brady and I always will even when it hurts.