The Greatest Superhero in the World
In which Seto Kaiba listens to an employee's idea, regrets it, and is stuck with the end result lest he upset his brother and thousands of kids worldwide. But mostly his brother.
This was all the Big 5's fault.
Technically they were dead and KaibaCorp had been fully purged of their influence, but if Seto Kaiba thought about it, this mess could still be traced back to them.
It was the Big 5's fault because while Seto Kaiba would be the first to admit he was a greedy self-serving bastard and anyone who thought otherwise needed to get their head checked, he would also begrudgingly admit that maybe, maybe he had mishandled his relationship with his former board.
Particularly, he should have listened to their ideas and pretended to "sleep on it" before shutting them down completely. Shutting them down immediately apparently fostered resentment.
Resentment that Mokuba insisted they had to avoid, especially with their best employees.
"Roland isn't our best employee," Seto had pointed out to which Mokuba countered that loyalty was an employee's best quality, and Roland was easily the most loyal. Ergo, he was the best.
"Well I can't argue with that logic." Seto had rolled his eyes but ultimately did not reject the proposal immediately. Because, unfortunately, he didn't have a better one.
Kaiba Land's planning was going well. They had most of their attractions finalized and all of the permits and other legal matters had been sorted out (it turned amusement parks weren't covered in the fair use clause of KaibaCorp and Industrial Illusions' partnership and that minor disagreement quickly turned into a legal nightmare), but there was one feature that Seto and Mokuba agreed had to be included, but had both of them scratching their heads on what to actually do with it.
The hero show.
"You should take point here," Seto had said. "You're in the target demographic."
"Rude! I'm way too old for hero shows. That's for grade schoolers." Seto decided not to point out that Mokuba himself was a grade schooler even if that was only true for the next few months.
Any good theme park needed a hero show, and a Duel Monsters theme park obviously needed a Duel Monsters character as the hero. But it couldn't be just any card in that role. This was Kaiba Land. It had to be a card associated with the Kaiba name.
Blue-Eyes was disqualified on grounds of needing a humanoid hero (which wasn't to say the iconic dragon wouldn't have any role to play). Lord of Dragons and Kaiser Seahorse weren't heroic-looking enough.
"What about something from that new elemental hero series Pegasus is working on?" Mokuba asked. "You've seen the designs right?"
"I have, and no. This show isn't a card commercial. We need something established," Seto sighed. Why was choosing a single card to be Kaiba Land's hero so difficult? "Let's think about this another way. What do you think of when you hear the word "superhero"?"
Mokuba didn't even take a moment to consider it. "You."
"Love you too, kid, but is this really the time for sentiment?"
"Believe it or not, that's not sentiment," Mokuba said earnestly. "Think about it, Seto. You fling cards like shuriken with perfect accuracy. You beat up guys twice your size. You broke into a castle dungeon to save me. You're way cooler than any guy in tights and a cape!"
Seto couldn't help but smile at his brother's sincerity. But only for a moment because that still didn't solve the problem.
"What if we ask Yugi and his friends for ideas?" Mokuba suggested.
"What happened to "I'm way too old for hero shows"? The dweebs are older than you," Kaiba teased.
"Not mentally," Mokuba retorted smugly.
"Good boy."
They tossed around a couple of other ideas, each one somehow worse than the last, and Seto Kaiba's patience quickly thinned. So when Roland walked in, having caught snippets of their discussion, and proposed a solution with shining eyes (they were hidden behind his sunglasses but Seto knew they were shining), Seto hadn't even needed Mokuba's full spiel for why they shouldn't kick Roland out of the office immediately.
He was wary. Even setting aside the importance Kaiba Land had to him and his brother, there was something downright unsettling about Roland being this eager. But Roland was insistent that his idea would be just what Kaiba Land needed, and Seto did have to admit that his most loyal employee knew his tastes well enough to potentially design something that wasn't completely disagreeable.
So under Roland's shining gaze and Mokuba's critical one, he relented.
"Have a formal proposal typed up by morning."
At least this gave Seto a night to "sleep on it".
Seto wasn't going to need to read the proposal. Even the customary pretend-read could have probably been skipped this time, because the visual component told Seto more than the typed up report ever would.
Just the fact that there was a visual component—one that in no way could Roland have possibly prepared in one day—told Seto more than he wanted to know.
No. Just…no. Seto wanted to say, and was about to, when suddenly,
"I love it!" Mokuba jumped up from his seat, a bright grin on his face. "Seto, this is perfect!"
This was Roland taking the two of them to the half-finished Kaiba Land site that morning and having them sit on the bleachers before the hero show stage (or having Mokuba sit, rather. Seto noted they needed to add taller benches in the back to accommodate parents). This was Roland disappearing backstage, leaving Seto and Mokuba to skim through the provided proposal. This was Roland reappearing a few minutes later wearing a red vest over a black shirt, black pants, a familiar-looking sleeveless white jacket, a long brown wig, and a helmet over his eyes that vaguely resembled the head of the Blue-Eyes White Dragon.
This was Kaibaman.
"And I was thinking he could wear a duel disk to summon either Blue-Eyes or the Ultimate Dragon. Maybe even fuse the latter with the Black Luster Soldier," Roland explained, an all-too happy smile visible on his face. "What do you think, sir?"
I think Crump's penguin park was less surreal, Seto thought dumbly, not wanting to be entirely contrary when his brother was clearly fawning over…this.
"I think it needs a little more oomph here and there, but otherwise it's perfect," Mokuba said, circling around the costumed security guard taking in the sight of what was supposed to be Seto as a superhero. "Right, Seto? Say it's perfect!"
"It's perfectly ridiculous," Seto said, and joined the two of them on stage, his expression dark. "Explain."
"Well, Mr. Kaiba, as you said, the Kaiba Land hero show needs a hero worthy of the Kaiba name, and I felt there is no existing Duel Monsters character that suits this purpose. And then, after hearing Mr. Mokuba's analysis of you yesterday, it occurred to me that you, sir, are the only hero Kaiba Land needs."
"Sound logic," Mokuba nodded sagely.
Seto sighed heavily. He could concede the idea of designing your own card if nothing else suited your purpose. He could accept his little brother's hero-worship of him. He could even agree with the assessment that he was the best man for the job (because who else, really). On some level, he liked the idea and the symbolism behind it.
He just wasn't sure if he wanted to be associated with a hero show.
"Come on, Seto," Mokuba tugged at his sleeve. "It's Kaibaman!" As though that was the answer to everything.
"You're giving me the "and that's supposed to be the answer to everything" eye roll, aren't you?" Mokuba frowned. "Well, yeah, it is. You're already my hero, and we're building this park where orphans can play all they like for free. Right?"
"Yeah, yeah."
"So then you're their hero too. It's settled." Mokuba gave Roland a thumbs-up. "Good work, Roland."
"E-er yes?" Unlike Mokuba, Roland wasn't in a position where he could willfully ignore his boss's moods like that. If Mr. Kaiba's dislike of Kaibaman was this strong, Roland probably needed to start updating his resume.
"Don't worry about Seto. He's just mad he didn't think of it first."
"Excuse me?"
"I'm not wrong," Mokuba said. "Since when do you get upset about something Blue-Eyes themed and bearing your name?"
Seto wanted to object, but he realized he didn't really have much of a counter. Mokuba was kinda right, something like this wasn't above him at all. There was a reason Roland was one of his best employees, after all.
(Though the design itself was not quite up to Seto's tastes. It was far too subtle with its inclusion of the Blue-Eyes White Dragon. Seto own vision included Blue-Eyes themed armor with the head as a shoulder pad.)
Mokuba watched him carefully. "You really don't like it?" he asked, the earlier smugness replaced with dejection. "You would really disappoint thousands of kids worldwide like this?"
Mokuba was getting a little too good at guilt-tripping, Seto noted. He had long gained immunity to his little brother's doe-eyed stare, but when he could also picture his employee giving it beneath the helmet, it was a little unsettling.
Seto studied the Kaibaman outfit carefully. He did have to wonder about some of Roland's design choices like the vest and the hair, but, hell, this was like looking in a mirror.
"Alright, fine," he said. "Can't upset those thousands of kids I never met."
"Yes!" Mokuba jumped on him, arms tight around his waist, and Kaibaman's lip finally stopped quivering. Thank god for that.
"That design isn't final though," Seto said sharply. "It's a good effort, but we don't settle for mediocrity here."
"Yes, sir!"
"Moving on," Seto opened the proposal again. "What have you got for the villain?"
Kaibaman's smile froze on his face.
"What villain?"
Seto flipped through the proposal, startled. Sure enough, it was all descriptions of Kaibaman, his powers (most notably his card throwing skills and his ability to turn into the Blue-Eyes White Dragon for some inexplicable reason), his backstory and motivations (Roland apparently had an imagination), and all sorts of ridiculous speeches he would recite (all of which would be rewritten immediately, no arguments). There was nothing in the proposal regarding a storyline or villains for Kaibaman to take down.
"H-How about the Dark Magician?" Roland suggested weakly.
The Dark Magician. Yugi's favorite monster. The King of Games' most iconic card that was as popular and beloved as the man himself as the bad guy.
Kaiba groaned. This was going to be a long day.
A/N:
(They eventually settle on the Big 5's deck masters and the Five Headed Dragon)
(To Kaiba's annoyance, Pegasus goes to see the Kaibaman show and designs a special promo card for Kaiba to hand out to children as gifts. Kaiba complains about the nonexistent attack points and the card's stupid grin before seeing its effect and adding it into his deck.)
Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed :D This was inspired by the Kaibaman show event in Reshef of Destruction, which I believe was also Kaibaman's debut in the series. And the part of Kaibaman was played by Roland in that game haha.
And also some inspiration taken from Kaiba and Mokuba's lines in Duel Links when they summon Kaibaman. They seem to like him :P
And of course, Seto's own "vision" of Kaibaman's design is a reference to that wonderful wonderful armor in Duelist of the Roses X'D
But mainly I just wanted to write some Kaiba bros banter and silliness ^^