Ten hours. That's how long Sam had been missing; How long Callen had been frantically searching for clues as to where he could be. Ten hours since he'd been kidnapped.
Fifteen hours since the last time Callen ate. He refused even to drink water until he knew Sam was safe.
Twenty- Four hours since Callen has slept. Hetty forced him to go home a while ago, seemingly to get some rest, but all he has done is pace. He is desperate, practically praying, begging to have some news of what has happened to Sam.
Forty-eight hours since Sam went missing. Callen stood in the shower, letting the jets of water pour down his back. His eyes were wide and bloodshot from lack of sleep. His body was weak from not eating. At that moment he knew above all else that Sam was it. He was the only person Callen would ever trust enough to sleep beside. The only person he would ever break his unspoken rules for and buy furniture and stock up his fridge for. The only person whose lips he longed to feel upon his own. Sam was the only person he had ever been, or ever would be in love with.
One week since this private Hell began. Callen spent the last few nights in Sam's apartment, in his bed. He felt broken and empty. Tears threatened around the edges of his eyes, but he wouldn't give in; not yet.
Two weeks, and finally, finally the bastards who took Sam screwed up. They had them, and they were going to get Sam back.
Sam and Callen stumbled through the door of Sam's apartment. Callen held onto Sam tightly, under the guise of a concerned friend helping out, but really he just needed to feel Sam and make sure he was really alright.
"G... I can walk by myself. I'm fine." Sam rested a hand on G's shoulder for a moment before walking past him into the house. Callen stood in the hallway for a moment. He could feel a pain in his chest, and a burning behind his eyes. His throat felt thick and if he was honest, all he wanted to do was curl up around Sam and cry. Cry and hold and be held. He wanted to tell Sam how much he missed him, how much he loved him.
"Have you been sleeping here?" Sam was back and had curiosity shining in his eyes.
"No," Callen answered; and technically he was telling the truth, because he hadn't slept at all over the last two weeks, except once, when he passed out from complete exhaustion.
"But you stayed here." It wasn't a question, but Callen nodded anyway in confirmation. "In my bed." Again, it wasn't a question, but this time Callen didn't make any indication of even having heard Sam. He kept his eyes stubbornly trained on the floor. "And in my t-shirt." Sam had walked so that he was standing close to Callen now, holding his brown long sleeved t-shirt in his hand. The one Callen had worn the night before. Callen swallowed thickly, and suddenly felt the wetness on his face. The tears had overflowed at last. He had hoped he would be able to keep them in check at least until he got home, but this was too much. Sam practically knew, and if Sam knew it could go three ways. One, he would be cool about it but not reciprocate his feelings, two, he could freak out and request a transfer, or three, he could return his love. Callen, in his already horrible emotional state felt that the only realistic option was option two; so he prepared to leave.
Unfortunately, Sam noticed the tears making tracks down Callen's face.
"G? G!" Sam reached out and placed a hand on Callen's back, causing the smaller man to jump, a fact that did not go unnoticed by Sam. "What's wrong?" He asked gently. G looked up into Sam's beautiful brown eyes and found that suddenly, he didn't care. He had to feel Sam in his arms. He had to feel Sam's lips beneath his. So Callen stepped forward and wrapped his arms tightly around Sam's neck, reveling in the smell that was purely Sam. He quickly pulled his head away from its perch on Sam's shoulder and softly melded their mouths together. After a moment he jolted away, a hand clamped over his mouth and his eyes wide. Tears fell silently as he took in the shocked look on Sam's face.
"I'm so sorry... I'll... I'll request a transfer so you don't have to move." He turned and stumbled down the hallway towards the door. Suddenly he felt himself being spun around and his back crashed into the wall.
"Why?" Of all things Sam could have said, this was not what Callen had been expecting.
"W-what?" Callen blinked, trying to see through his tear filled eyes.
"Why are you sorry?" Sam was holding him tightly by his shoulders and was leaning in close to him so that his breath ghosted over Callen's lips.
Well, he had already kissed him, he may as well come clean. "I'm sorry because I fell in love with you, which puts you in a bad position." Callen choked out.
"Why does that put me in a bad position?" Sam whispered.
"Because you don't l-love me b-back!" Callen was blubbering, and stuttering, and it wasn't tough or calloused in the least. Somehow, though, he couldn't bring himself to care. He felt like he was being ripped apart inside.
"That's where you're wrong." Sam said. Callen's head shot up so that he was staring, dumbstruck at Sam.
"I'm wrong?" Callen barely dared to believe it. Sam nodded, before leaning down just a bit further and capturing Callen's lips in a searing, yet gentle kiss. Callen gasped, and suddenly he was uncontrollable. He attacked Sam's lips with everything he had, trying to convey in that kiss every ounce of worry, and fear, and undying love that he had ever felt for this man, this wonderful, incredible man. Sam slipped his tongue in between Callen's lips as he picked the man up, hooking his legs around his waist. He carried Callen into his bedroom and gently set him down on the bed. He hovered over him for a moment, staring down at his tear stained face.
"You're beautiful, you know." Sam said cupping Callen's cheek in his hand. Callen smiled a tiny smile before it disappeared and he bit his lip.
"Sam, I... I was so scared... I didn't know where you were, or how to find you..." G trailed off.
"I'm sorry." Sam said. And he meant it. Normally he would kill anyone who caused Callen this much pain, but seeing as his death would upset Callen even more, that wasn't an option. Callen shook his head, dismissing Sam's apology.
Sam jumped slightly when he felt fingers work their way under his shirts edge. Callen placed his hands flat against Sam's chest, a look of concentration on his face. Suddenly, his face relaxed into a contented smile and he closed his eyes.
"What?" Sam smiled gently.
"Your heart. I just needed to feel it beating. Needed to feel that you're alive." Callen opened his eyes and Sam's breath caught in his throat. Callen was looking at him with such trust, and love that Sam wasn't sure what to do. He settled for pulling his shirt over his head, and then guiding Callen to do the same. Curiosity had joined the emotions in his eyes, but he didn't protest.
Sam lay down beside Callen and pulled him close. Callen made to rest his hand against Sam's chest again, but Sam shook his head. Callen frowned, confused but only for a moment; until Sam guided his head to rest over his heart instead. Callen could feel all of the stresses of the day melt away with the rhythmic thumping.
His eyes had barely drifted shut when he felt his belt being undone. He bit his lips nervously, and reached a hand down to stop Sam. He looked at their hands; Sam's still upon his belt buckle and his own, shaky one resting over it.
"Sam, I ..." Callen trailed off.
"Shh, relax. I wasn't gonna try anything. Just thought you'd sleep more comfortably out of your jeans, that have a loaded gun stuck in the back." Sam ran his thumb over Callen's hand, reassuring him.
"It's not that I don't want to... it's just, I was really worried about you, I mean, I was terrified that I'd lost you... and I just want to feel you holding me tonight." Callen looked up into Sam's eyes. Sam nodded, and wordlessly he finished removing Callen's jeans and then his own. He then pulled Callen tightly against his chest and Callen wound his arms around Sam's waist.
As Callen felt himself being lulled to sleep by Sam's breathing, he heard him whisper,
"G?"
"Yeah?" Callen raised his head a little bit to look at his partner.
"I love you." Callen felt his heart stop, before it started again at twice it's normal speed.
"I love you too... so, so much, Sam." He whispered back, nuzzling his nose into the crook of Sam's neck.
Strong arms tightened around him protectively, and for the first time in his entire life Callen felt like he was exactly where he belonged; and somehow he knew that this would be his place for the rest of his life.