Rating: M
Disclaimer: Grissom and Sara are not mine. No profit has been made from the writing of this story.
Acknowledgements: Thanks go yet again to Elle for putting up with my craziness while I was writing this, and to my partner and kids for literally letting me disappear on Friday afternoon so I could get this written.
Gone
He was gone.
Sara turned, pressing her forehead against the cool metal of her locker as his words echoed in her head. I'll miss you.
She wished he'd gone without a word, let her pretend he'd still be there when she got home, lying between the sheets twisted by their lovemaking. Now, her last image of him was tinted with the cold gray walls of the lab, leaving her feeling like a criminal for wanting to touch him one last time.
The sabbatical hadn't been a huge surprise. She'd come home from the lab one day, he'd handed her the letter, and without a word she knew he wanted to go.
She wasn't a fool; the landscape of their lives had begun to change over the last year. He'd started talking more about the future. They'd bought a house just outside of Vegas so they could sit outside on the patio holding hands and looking at the stars. And just when everything should have been perfect, it wasn't.
There were dark circles under his eyes that never seemed to go away, the cases seemed to be hitting him harder than before, and there was a lost look in his eyes that made her heart ache. At first she'd just wrapped herself around him, tried to shield him from the world, but there was no protecting him from the work that haunted him.
So she'd told him to go, and even though tears stung her eyes as she said the words he needed to hear, she didn't cry. The sharp pain in her stomach when she thought about how empty the house would be with out him made her feel irrational. After all it was only a month; four weeks and he'd be back by her side, holding her hand and pointing out patterns in the sky, but right now it felt like an eternity.
Sara had circled the date on her calendar with a thick black marker, but wrote nothing down, she couldn't bear to put the words in black and white; a stark reminder of how much she would miss him. She looked up at the empty door way again, and sat down heavily on the bench, wanting to turn the clock back just a few hours, so she could have it all back again.
She made his favorite dinner, a spinach and artichoke lasagna paired with a cabernet from the Santa Ynez Valley, and they talked about the same things they always talked about, all the while pretending it was just another night among the many others they'd shared.
His hand kept finding its way to hers, and she could feel the need in his touch. His fingers stroked the back of her hand in a familiar pattern, and her skin prickled nearly to her shoulder, an echo of the first time he'd ever touched her. She might have laughed if she wasn't so busy trying to hold on to him so tightly.
Looking into his eyes from across the table, she could see how much he wanted her.
She felt the ache in her heart begin to fade away under his heated gaze. Her grip on his hand tightened as she felt desire rapidly stealing over her. A blush colored her cheeks, after all this time, he could still leave her wanting with just a look.
A little tug on her hand and she was in his lap. He drew her mouth to his, kissing her hard, his mouth hot and wet against hers. She met his passion with her own, drawing her tongue against his. She recognized the want in his touch; she felt it in her own hands as they slid down his chest and over his arms, her nails marking a path over his skin.
His hands were everywhere, anxious to find her skin and affirm its feel in his memory. He pulled impatiently at the fabric of her shirt, nearly tearing it in his haste to remove it from her body. He pushed her bra off, unclasping it as he sucked a hard nipple into his mouth.
Sara cupped her breast with her hand, pressing herself into his mouth more fully. She could feel his hardness trapped under her and ground down on it. She leaned forward to suck his earlobe into her mouth, and a low whimper escaped her lips as an intense pleasure built between her legs.
He pulled the string on her pants, sliding his hand inside them, his finger dipping into her warm wetness, drawing it back to her center over and over again, until her incoherent moans dissolved into a final hiss of breath. She came hard, shaking in his arms a sob caught in her throat.
He was ingrained in her, as if he had always been there and from the moment she'd met him, she knew she'd found the piece of herself she'd been missing all her life.. She held him close to her and ran her fingers through his hair as her heartbeat gradually returned to normal.
"Sara." He spoke quietly, wiping her tears away with his thumb. He didn't want to leave any more than she wanted him to go. "I want to make love to you." He needed the reminder that she was real, that she loved him despite his failings, but more than anything he needed her faith and her promise that she would still be there when he returned.
She nodded her head, taking his face between her hands and looking into his eyes for a long moment, realizing that the desperate need for him that she'd felt only a minute ago was receding, leaving only a deep love in its wake.
He took her hand, winding his fingers with hers as she stood up, allowing her draw him along with her, and down the hall and into their bedroom. He watched the liquid sway of her hips as she walked, the smooth white skin of her bare back, and his heart ached, missing her already.
Sara had changed him in a way that he never knew he could be changed. It was as if she'd given him a whole new way to look at the world. He'd been so busy ignoring everything but the evidence that he never noticed his job was swallowing him whole. She had shown him a whole new life, and now he found he wanted more from his life's work than endless strips of crime scene tape. He had to find out if there was another way for him to be in the world.
Sara turned to face him as they reached the threshold of their room, running her hand over his cheek as she drew him further into her with just her eyes. Her touch left him, as she moved her hands to her hips, sliding her already loose pants off. She stepped closer to him, allowing him unfettered access to her bare skin as she unbuttoned first his shirt, then his khakis.
She kissed him, sucking his bottom lip between hers before stepping back. She took his hand as she slid back onto the bed. Opening her legs to him, she pulled him down on top of her.
He sighed deeply as he settled between her thighs. For a moment he just looked at her, his fingers tracing the arc of her eyebrow, the curve of her cheek and finally sifting through the softness of her hair. He placed tiny kisses along the ridge of her collarbone, and the crest of her ear before bringing his mouth down on hers. He kissed her leisurely, enjoying the slow burn building inside of him.
Her arms encircled him, her fingers caressing him gently, bringing him closer to her with every stroke. He felt his breath catch in his throat as a sense of belonging nearly overwhelmed him. His hand moved to her breast, cradling it as his thumb moved over her nipple, pinching it lightly between his fingers as she arched into his touch. He shifted down, replacing his fingers with his mouth, sucking the firm flesh into his mouth. Looking up at her, he knew he would never get enough of her.
She reached for him, but he stilled her hand with his, "I want to come inside of you." His voice was husky, tripping slightly over the words, wanting her to understand what this meant to him, that their coming together transcended the physical, that this is what wedded him to her, and bore the faith he carried in his heart.
Her gazed softened, a smile touched her lips and she knew for the thousandth time that he loved her endlessly. She kissed him softly, feeling him shift as he moved to guide himself into her. He pushed the tip in slightly, holding it there, reveling in the anticipation of the joining of their bodies.
She twisted under him, pushing her hips up as his name came from her lips on the heels of a moan. Her need for him was becoming unbearable. He acquiesced then, sinking smoothly into her warm wetness, filling her completely.
Her fingers dug into his back, as she marveled at the perfect feel of him. He moved inside of her again and again, stroking her with an exquisite slowness until she thought she might pass out from the pleasure
"Faster." She whispered between breaths.
He looked into her dark eyes, and knew he was losing himself in her, he could feel the edges between them beginning to disappear. He knew this memory was the most precious thing he was going to take with him, this moment where they became equal parts of one another.
He felt her tighten around him, and knew that she was close when his name became a hum on her lips. He quickened his pace, until he felt her body go slightly rigid and then meeting her gaze, he finally let go, spilling himself into her. In that moment, he felt as if their souls were merging and that for these few precious seconds, they were complete. He lingered inside of her, holding tightly to the beautiful peace he found with her, knowing that she understood him so much better this way.
She held him there, his head on her chest and let the gentle beat of her heart lull him to sleep. She stroked his cheek with the back of her hand, watching as he drifted off, knowing she would cry once he was gone. It was inevitable that she would miss him, and that she would want him to stay, but there were no questions left in her heart. He would always be a part of her, entwined in every fiber of her being, and she knew he was doing this as much for her as he was for himself. She closed her eyes, thinking only of the future and how they would shape it together.
Sara was drawn from her thoughts by a warm touch on the back of her neck so feather light she thought she might have imagined it. She turned into the touch, and found herself being pulled into Grissom's arms. He pressed her back against her open locker and kissed her, long and deep and full of promise.
"I'll call you when I land." He whispered in her ear, placing his hand briefly over her heart.
"I'll miss you too." She said softly, resting her palm against his cheek.
He nodded and then he was gone again.
Sara brought her fingers to her lips, touching the kiss the lingered there, and smiled. This was exactly how she wanted to say goodbye.