I have been wanting to post this for about THREE WEEKS! FINALLY! It's here! I don't see many stories with a Female America and a Male Japan. There may be slight RoChu. I think i see Nyo!AmericaxJapan than the other way around. Fem!Japan is kind of boring... Okay, now enjoy. I do not own Hetalia!
~Kolko
Time Zones
Japan was asleep when the phone rang. Riiiiing. Riiiiiing. Riiiiing. He moaned. He looked at the clock. 12:14 AM. Who would be calling at midnight?! Riiiiiiing! Riiiiiiing! Riiiiiiing! Obviously the phone wasn't going to shut up. He rolled off his mat, and lumbered to the phone. He answered and yawned.
… Konichiwa? …Prease terr me who is carring.
Yo dude it's America!
No surprise it would be America calling at this hour.
America-san? What are you doing up?
I know! I usually don't get out of bed until twelve! Surprised?
America-san, I think you are forgetting about the time zones.
… Oh, I'm sorry man. I totally forgot!
She sounded really depressed.
Maybe some other time-
There is no other time! It's so unfair! Your on the other side of the world and there's never a good time to hang! I haven't seen you in like, forever! It's like 11:00 AM here and at your place its like…
Midnight.
See? I never get to see you! You're my best friend.
Rearry? I'm your best friend?
Well, a lot of other countries… really don't like me.
I'm sorry. I'm really tired. Can we talk in about 7 hours?
But then it will be- okay. *sigh* Talk to you later.
Seyonarra.
They hung up. Japan sighed. He liked America, but she could be obnoxious. She always dragged him to many places and things he never wanted to do, but in the end, he always enjoyed himself no matter how exhausting it was. She made him feel like he wasn't 2000 years old. She was only about 200. She was very powerful though, despite being so young. He then smiled and went to sleep. He had an idea. He was going to visit her tomorrow and surprise her.
? ﾟﾘﾵ? ﾟﾘﾵ? ﾟﾘﾵ? ﾟﾘﾵ? ﾟﾘﾵ? ﾟﾘﾵ
Japan knocked on the door. He heard yelling inside. Two women were yelling about something. He heard loud footsteps come downstairs. He opened the door. America was wearing her usual clothes, the same short skirt and revealing shirt she wore mostly everyday, but she looked like she had been in a bit of roughhousing. She had her bat out and ready.
"Japan! Thank Tony you're here! I'm so happy you decided to visit!" she said almost out of breath.
"Ameria-san, what is going on?" he asked. He then saw the angry Russian stomp down the stairs with her shovel.
"I'm not finished with you, America! Get rid of it!" she growled.
"Miss Russia-chan, I'm sure whatever America did was stupid and unreasonabre, but there is no need to draw a shover!" he said.
"You do not even know!" said the Russian. Japan sighed.
"Okay, what happened?"
"I will show you," said Russia.
? ﾟﾘﾓ? ﾟﾘﾓ? ﾟﾘﾓ? ﾟﾘﾓ? ﾟﾘﾓ? ﾟﾘﾓ
Russia began to unlock her door.
"So, I come home from a meeting last night…" she opened her door, And I find this!" The American flag was spray painted all over the great room. It was one giant flag. The furniture and even the staircase was covered in red, white and blue paint. "It will take me forever to clean it up!"
"Miss Russia, I know someone who can herp you crean this up," said Japan, "he actuarry rikes creaning."
"Ugh! Not Germany!"
"I sharr carr him right now," said Japan. America smirked.
"What were YOU doing out? Were you on a date?" she teased. She blushed with anger. "Ha! You totally were!"
"N-No…" she growled, "I-I don't need a boyfriend to be happy!"
"Pfft! That's just an excuse for girls who can't get a guy," she said.
"Kolkolkolkolkol…" growled Russia. They later heard a knock on the door. Japan answered. China was there, armed with cleaning supplies.
"I'm here aru! Where is the- holy flying pandas!" he gasped. He glared at America. She just blushed slightly. "This is unacceptable aru! Unforgivable aru! Good thing I have something to get the paint out, but I'll need help aru," he said. He then called, "Okay boys, get cleaning aru!" The men that usually built his Chinatowns, were now scrubbing the crap out of everything.
"Wow, thank you!" said Russia.
"No problem aru! We are far better than Polish knockoff aru!" he assured, "It will be back to normal in no time!"
"We're just going to… reave now. Arigato China," said Japan.
"Have fun!" called America before they left. Russia shot her an evil look and flipped her off. The two left.
? ﾟﾑ ? ﾟﾑ ? ﾟﾑ ? ﾟﾑ ? ﾟﾑ ? ﾟﾑ
"I am so happy you decided to visit!" said America, "Thanks for saving my butt by the way. I would have been toast." The got back to America at 7:15 PM the next day. They were at the airport.
"Werr," yawned Japan, "I guess I shourd get in rine and get a-" America hugged his legs.
"Please don't," she begged, "We didn't even spend any time together except on the planes! It's that stupid Russian's fault! You can stay at my house! Just, please don't go!" He stared at her, then smiled.
"Arright. I'rr stay another day," he said. She smiled.
"Okay! What do you want to do when we get home?" she said excitedly.
"Werr, I srept on the prane, so I honestry don't know," he said. She laughed.
"Me too," she said.
Later…
When they got home, Tony greeted them. "F*cking!"
"Sup, Tony?" she said, "So, do you like, want to get some dinner?"
"Sure. What would you like?" he asked.
"Well, there's a new sushi place that's open," she suggested. Japan became furious.
"What?! Go out?!" he was offended, "I can make perfectry fine Sushi! We do not need to go out to some cheap chain restaurant!" He then ended up dragging her to the grocery store. She almost broke down laughing at his reaction. He really took food seriously.
? ﾟﾍﾤ? ﾟﾍﾣ? ﾟﾍﾙ? ﾟﾍﾚ? ﾟﾍﾢ? ﾟﾍﾠ
"Werr, is that better than crappy chain sushi?" he asked bitterly.
"Mm," her mouth was full, so she nodded. She finished. "Yes. I know better now," she said, "It's just… you never come so I never know what your homemade sushi is like." Japan smiled. Maybe I can set up my own chain here later. "Now it's time for something American!" she said dragging him to the computer.
"Can I finish making some more sushi?" he asked. She nodded. He got to his work.
? ﾟﾍﾣ? ﾟﾍﾣ? ﾟﾍﾣ? ﾟﾍﾣ? ﾟﾍﾣ? ﾟﾍﾣ
She started up a program as he retrieved the sushi he made for himself. She mooched a little bit. He just smiled. He was happy to have his cooking appreciated. She turned off the lights. The title screen read: Slender.
"Srender? What is Srender?" he asked. He chuckled at his accent.
"Only the most awesome horror game ever!" she said. He continued to watch her play.
"So, what is the purpose of this game?" he asked.
"You have to get all 8 notes before Slenderman kills you," she said. She gasped when they got to a silo. "The red dildo," she gasped. Japan was confused. It just looked like a normal silo. it said something Japan couldn't make out.
"I'm sorry, my Engrish isn't very good, what did that note say?" he asked.
"Don't look or it takes you," she said.
"W-W-What t-takes you?" Japan asked.
"Slenderman!" she said. She came to a bunch of tanks. "Always watches, no eyes," she read for him.
"Srenderman has no eyes?" he was trying to picture Slenderman in his head. They then passed the tanks. Suddenly a very tall, slim creature in a suit appears. It's arms were very long. The thing that terrified Japan the most was that it had no face. America and Japan screamed. She turned around and went the other direction. "WHAT WAS THAT?!" Japan screamed.
"S-Slenderman!" she said. She turned off the flashlight. "If you turn off the flashlight he won't follow us," she advised. Japan was now terrified to be in the dark and playing this. He got closer to America. She then turned on the flashlight on again. They found the note at a brick wall. It didn't have any words on it. Just a drawing of trees and Slenderman. They then saw static on the screen. America screamed and turned off the flashlight. "Static means he's near," she said. Japan gasped. "Here, I'll control the movement. You control the flashlight. They looked at the rocks and went on. And soon they were back to the tanks. "There's a bathroom here," she said, "I hate this part. You should turn off your flashlight. He did so. They went inside. They found the note that had a picture of Slenderman with a bunch of "NO"s. Japan could read that. They exited the bathroom. "4 more to go," she said. Japan sighed in relief. They continued on. They came to a tunnel. The two held the hands they weren't using and squeezed tightly. There was a note. "Leave me alone," she read. Japan quivered. He normally didn't get scared at things like this, but right now he was terrified. She walked past the truck.
"Why did you wark past the truck?" he asked. He was looking frantically for Slenderman.
"If there's one in the tunnel, there won't be one in the truck," she said, "hello?! Don't look or it takes you!" He stopped looking. They came across another truck. They collected a note that said: Help me.
"Is he behind us?" he wondered.
"NO JAPAN DON'T!" she screamed. Too late. Slenderman was right there. Static appeared on the screen. They screamed as his faceless face covered the screen. It then turned black. They were right up to each other, trembling.
"G-Gomen nasai!" he whimpered.
"It's okay. At least the game's over," she said. She looked at the clock. 10:07. "Well I guess we sh-should go to bed," she said.
"H-Hai," he said. The two went upstairs.
"Well, 'Night bro. See ya in the morning." She went into her room. Japan smiled. America may be a little obnoxious, but she was very fun to be around. He kind of liked her wildness and crazy attitude. He sighed. He went to the guest bedroom. Japan opened the door. He screamed. America came running out of the bathroom half dressed with a toothbrush in her mouth. She quickly spit before dashing out. Japan was shaking with the door shut. "What's going on?!" she asked.
"D-Don't open the door!" Japan said. He looked terrified.
"Why? What's going on?" she asked.
"S-S-Srender man!" Japan said. She reached for the door. He grabbed her wrist. "I tord you not to!"
"Japan, if you tell me no, of course I'm going to do it," she said. She opened the door as Japan leaped away. She looked inside. "I don't see any-" just then, Slenderman arose and walked towards them. His tentacles were whipping rapidly. She screamed and slammed the door. "Quickly! To my room!" she said. They rushed into her bedroom. She locked the door and put a cabinet in front of it. She dragged him under the bed. She even put up numerous pillows around the gaps so they wouldn't be seen. She then pulled down the blankets so the numerous pillows werent too suspicious. They were in the pitch black, scared to death. They whispered to each other.
"…Kiku?"
"…Hai?"
"Are you touching my butt?"
"Oh holy Ryujin it's just you! I thought it was one of Srenderman's tenticres or arms. I'm sorry!"
"It's okay. … And how are you scared of him? Don't you read tentacle porn?"
"I-I-I– where did you find that out?"
"I was snooping around your room one day and i found a hentai Book."
"Um… can we prease not tark about that?"
"Okay." Bump!
"Ow! I hit my head."
"Are you okay?" He mad a reassuring sound.
"Wait, what about your arien and whare friends?!"
"They're probably in space by now… Japan, I'm so terrified man! We probably are going to die."
"I'm scared too. Where are you anyway?"
"Here, take my hand." They felt around.
"Nnnff… um America… mmmf mf mff face…"
"Sorry."
"Here. I'm searching for your hand…" he felt around until he finally touched something.
"Um, Japan… that's not my hand."
"I-I-I'm so sorry!"
"Oh! I think I have a small lamp under here! Search for cheap plastic." They felt around some more. "Got it" click! The small light glowed. It was a really tiny lantern. One that belonged on a keychain. He was able to see some of America. The rest was dark. He crawled closer to her.
"I did find some potato chips," he said.
"Oh good, we won't starve," she said. She took the bag from him. There was a moment of silence.
"Shourd we try to farr asreep?" he said. She nodded. She turned off the lantern. The two shifted to laying down. There wasn't too much room under the bed. And they were on the hard floor with nothing but a couple blankets they found and used as a mat. They really weren't comfortable.
"Japan?"
"Hai?"
"Since we'll probably die tonight, there's something I have to tell you."
"Okay. I think we shourd get everything off our chests right now."
"Okay, oh gosh, where do I begin? I have a secret stash of hot dogs and burgers in a secret room."
"I have a secret stash of Pocky."
"I broke my diet… a lot."
"I rearry do… read tenticre porn."
"I have a shotgun in the septic tank of my toilet. No reason why… I just want to feel secure…"
"I didn't have sex with Greece! We just were in bed naked together, that was arr. but sadry, i admit, it was not a dream."
"I once shot England in the leg."
"I once stabbed China in the back, rirarry. With a katana."
"I'm sorry I tricked you and made you say election."
"I once tried to once erectrocute and harpoon Russia."
"I'm sorry for starting the Great Depression, ticking off so many countries, starting wars, being a bitch, creating so much discrimination, and killing many innocent lives!"
"I'm sorry for putting so many Asians through a holocaust. Incruding my own sibrings!"
"I'm sorry I bombed Hiroshima and Nagasaki!"
"I'm sorry I bombed Pearr Harbor!"
"I secretly like you but you never take my hints!"
"I rove you!" Silence.
"You… love me?"
"You… rove me?" The two then kissed. The night had been quite eventful.
? ﾟﾌﾌ? ﾟﾌﾌ? ﾟﾌﾌ? ﾟﾌﾌ? ﾟﾌﾌ? ﾟﾌﾌ
Light seeped through the pillows and marked the morning. The two crawled out from under the bed. They winced when the sunlight touched them. They saw the door open a crack. They shivered.
"He's gone," said America, "We survived! We're alive!" The two hugged. They decided to go downstairs and have some breakfast. However, when they got downstairs, they saw Slenderman staring at them. They screamed and backed up into a corner. They were going to die now. Tentacles whipped around. They braced themselves. They then heard laughter. Muffled laughter and near laughter. The laughing Slenderman pulled his mask off. Or her mask off. The Russian had collapsed to the ground laughing. A Chinese man then stepped out from behind a wall.
"W-What is going on? Nii-chan?" he was confused. The two finally stopped laughing.
"Payback," said Russia, "Revenge feels so nice, doesn't it Yao?"
"It does indeed aru," he said.
"S-So it was you all along!" America said. Russia nodded. "Gosh Russia, you make a great Slenderman! And your costume was perfect! You had us scared to death! How did you do the tentacles!"
"What do you mean?" Russia asked.
"Did China help you?" Japan asked.
"Nyet, I used my own," she said.
"Your own technology?" America said.
"Um… yes… let's go with that," she said, "china put certain spice in your sushi to give you guys headache and took pictures and video of you screaming."
"So i-it was all fake, right?" America asked. The two nodded.
"Well, I'm getting hungry aru," said China, "I will go cook some breakfast." All agreed. They decided to enjoy the beautiful morning daylight.
The end?