I don't want to be stuck in this cycle anymore.
There he is again—same time, every day. Sock hat perfectly in place, shirt neatly pressed, shoes shined to a T, and a too friendly smile on his unblemished face. There is no question as to where he is going. It is the same place he goes every single morning. No doubt, he is going to his best friend's house to cook up another hair brained scheme in the hopes of cheating the other cul-de-sac kids out of their money. His beautiful mind is wasted on those two dorks. Can he not see that? For someone to be so amazingly smart, how can he be so glaringly stupid? He cannot take it anymore.
I don't want to be stuck in this cycle anymore.
He must confess his feelings today. He has to tell him how every time he is near, his stomach does summer saults. How his knees go weak the same way they always do before a big football game. How his palms grow sweaty and it feels as though at any moment he will throw up from pure anxiety. The few times the unlikely pair speak, the redhead always becomes uncharacteristically self-conscience.
And you do not even know how I feel.
He cannot take it anymore. He cannot sit back and suffer on his own while the other continues on blissfully unaware of his feelings. Today that will all change. Today is the day he confronts him along with all these conflicting emotions. No longer will he hide behind the mask of the self-confident jock he has built for himself. Every single day it is the same mundane routine, but today he is serious. He is determined to do this.
We can't be stuck in this cycle anymore.
Instead of teasing and mocking, he will talk to him. Rather than keeping his guard up, he will bare it all on the line. Even though nothing scares him more than wearing his heart on his sleeve, for him, he must do it. This time for sure he will—
"What's the hurry, double dweeb?"
No.
"K-Kevin, p-please!"
What is he doing? Why is he doing this? Again? As much as he tries, he cannot stop his hand from reaching out and pulling at that perfectly placed beanie. The quickest way he knows to replace that demure polite smile with an expression of panic and fear. A look only he can draw from the well-known prodigy. Even as the object of his affections desperately tries to free himself without dislodging the hat, his harsh grip only tightens.
No!
Why is he doing this again?!
"I asked you a question, double dork!"
Knowing that it is futile to struggle against the stronger boy any further, the nerd settles for staring up at him disapprovingly. Kevin can feel his heart aching. That teary-eyed look says it all. The dork hates him. Of course he does. Why would he not? All because he cannot find the courage to free them from this vicious cycle.
"I was only on my way to rendezvous with my friends, if you must know. I was not aware that I was in your way. If you could release me, I will endeavor to be quick about ridding you of my presence since it displeases you so much."
He can't. He cannot let it go on like this. Even as his hands begin to tremble, his lips still refuse to obey his command.
"Kevin?"
Say something! Anything! Those big inquisitive blue-green eyes are waiting so patiently for him to explain himself. The dork is giving him the opportunity for him to say what he wants to most, to free them from this monotonous cycle, and all he has to do is open his mouth and speak. As his lips finally part, his mouth goes completely dry, forcing him to close them before swallowing and trying again. He lets the boy go before mustering up the courage to look him in the eye.
"Double D I—no Eddward um I…"
The shorter boy's eyes are wide with equals amount curiosity and concern at this point. Not only has the bully never addressed him by his preferred nickname, he has certainly never called by his given name. Whatever the red-faced ginger has to say is obviously something of immense importance.
"I have been wanting to get something off my chest for a while now."
The reassuring smile the genius gives him is enough to make his heart skip a beat.
"If you feel the need to discuss an issue, I am more than happy to lend you my ear Kevin."
Every time he says his name, more butterflies gather in his stomach.
"But next time please do refrain from the superfluous manhandling. I am a pacifist. That being said, how can I be of assistance?"
"You can help by just listening and not saying a word until I am completely finished."
"Very well."
His breath leaves his tight lips in a heavy sigh as he tries in vain to calm his frazzled nerves. After that does nothing to help, he closes his eyes to block that innocent face from view. He may look silly, but at least now he can say what he needs to. This is it.
"For a long time now I have—"
"HEY SHOVELCHIN!"
All at once everything is crashing in. He knows all is lost when King Dork comes running up to them with his big dumb lackey following faithfully behind. The look of dismay on Double D's face when Eddy shoves the taller jock is enough to make it clear.
He will be trapped for another day.
As he and Eddy exchange venomous words and violent blows, Ed picks up the weaker member of their group in a great big hug.
"Don't worry Double-D, I'll get you away from mean ol' Kevin."
"Ed wait, this is a misunderstanding—whoa Eeeed!"
The big dummy speeds down the street without hearing another word and taking with him the only person Kevin wants to reach.
As he continues to pound their self-appointed leader into the dirt, he can feel the sting of angry held back tears in the corner of his light green eyes.
He messed up again.
Just like all the other attempts, he has reverted to how they have always been. Back to the same old familiar cycle. This never-ending sequence of isolation, pretending, insecurity, and yearning.
But…well…
Tomorrow is another day.
Author's Note: Hope you guys enjoyed this short little one-shot. My first ever KevEdd fic so if you liked it I would appreciate a review, if not, that's okay too. Thanks for Reading.