A/N: I don't know what I did to L. Really, I don't. Usually L is a cuddly uke. But deprive l of his sugar and he turns into a seme of questionable sanity. Poor Light.
Disclaimer: I don't own L or Light. If I did, Death Note would be porn.
L sprawled across his bed dramatically, clutching his stomach. He convinced himself that any moment now, he would die of starvation. Okay, he had only missed lunch, but damn it, he needed to eat! He needed brain food. And Light was being ridiculously selfish by refusing to go to the store and buy him something to eat.
L sighed heavily and draped his arm across his face. He peeked out from between his fingers at Light. Light still had his back to him, playing Solitaire. L was more important than Solitaire!
"Quit being such a drama queen," Light murmured, not even bothering to turn around. "I love how you're trying to show your emotions, but you're just overacting. Your sugar can wait a bit."
"But my stomach is making noises," L protested.
Light spun around in his chair and stared at the detective. "You can wait," he said firmly. "Besides, Sayu borrowed the car."
L groaned. "You would entrust your vehicle to your little sister just to thwart my attempts to get a decent meal."
Light snorted. "A decent meal? You eat ice cream and cake all day."
L gathered up the energy to sit up and curled into his usual crouch. "Raito-kun is my boyfriend. As such, he is expected to do nice things for me."
Light elegantly raised one eyebrow. "And that means?"
"Going to the store and buying more food. I did not eat lunch because there is nothing edible left in this house. If you do not remedy this situation soon, I will have to miss dinner and I will waste away to nothing."
Light scowled. "It's not my fault that you're a stick."
"But Raito-kun must feed me or I will become less than a stick."
Light sighed heavily. "Ryuuzaki, I do feed you. If we had no food in the house I would be hungry too. You're just a picky eater. You're going to have to grow up and not eat like a little kid."
L frowned. "It is not my fault that Raito-kun makes disgusting vegetable dishes that make me want to vomit."
Light smirked. "Eggplant?"
L made a gagging noise. "Especially the eggplant. That was your worst attempt on my life yet, Kira-kun."
Light's smirk quickly turned into a dark scowl. "God, Ryuuzaki. I'm not Kira and I'm not trying to poison you. Things that are good for you don't always taste wonderful. You just have to suffer through them and then wash it down with your ice cream. That's why ice cream is dessert, not a meal."
L sniffed disdainfully and put his hand over his stomach. "Raito-kun is still trying to starve me."
"There's plenty to eat in the fridge. Get your lazy ass off the bed and go look."
"Raito-kun is a mean boyfriend," L muttered.
"Just because I'm your boyfriend doesn't mean I have to be your slave. We're supposed to be partners, right? Since when have you ever made me food?"
"Raito-kun knows I can't cook," L said crossly.
"I'm not your mother. I don't need to do everything for you. Yes, I am supposed to do nice things for you. But you're supposed to do nice things for me as well. It's an equal relationship."
L sighed tragically and slid off the end of the bed. "Fine, I will go and-" He stopped suddenly and stared intently at Light's desk.
Light frowned at him. "What are you looking at?"
L blinked rapidly and raised his gaze to Light's face. "Hmn?"
"What were you looking at? Do I have a rat sitting on my desk or something?"
"No, just a rat sitting in your chair," L said cheerfully. He headed out the door and then returned in little over a second. "What was that noise?"
"What noise?" Light snarled.
L looked around quickly and then crawled back onto the bed. "Well, that was strange. I could have sworn…"
L trailed off and he stared blankly at the far wall, his eyes becoming unfocused as if he was seeing something beyond the room.
"What is the matter with you today?" Light demanded. "Finish your sentence."
L lifted a bony finger and pointed towards the wall. "It's right over there," he murmured dreamily. "Velvet cake is delicious."
Light got out of this chair and stood right in front of L. He snapped his fingers in L's face. "You can come back to reality now."
L blinked and shook his head vigorously to clear it. "Yes, Raito-kun?" he asked calmly.
"What the hell are you on, anyway?" Light groused. "You've got to be on some sort of drugs. No one's mind just wanders off like that."
"Perhaps my mind simply does not function without sugar," L suggested.
Light scowled. "Hell to the no. You don't need sugar, you want it. You can be fine without it."
L suddenly looked worried. "Do I have to?"
"What the hell are you going on about?" Light growled.
L's eyes drifted disinterestedly about the room until they landed on Light, who was a slight distance away from L. L was really worrying Light and Light wasn't sure whether to get away from him or stay by his side to help him. L made the choice for him.
Light backed away as L unsteadily advanced towards him. "Uhh…what are you doing, Ryuuzaki?" Light did not like the hungry look in L's eyes at all.
"Mmm, Raito-kun looks so good today," L purred.
"Stop looking at me like that. Do I look like a chocolate sundae to you?"
"Yes, Raito-kun."
Light's eyes widened. He picked up a nearby heavy book and held it protectively to his chest.
"Wait, that is not quite accurate." L tipped his head to one side as he contemplated it. Just as Light was beginning to feel relieved, L grinned and said, "You are a strawberry shake." And then he pounced.
Light yelped as he fell hard against the floor, L pinning him down effectively. L straddled Light's hips and pinned his arms above his head, rendering Light helpless. L smiled seductively at Light. "Yes, you are a very tasty cupcake. I shall enjoy you immensely."
Light struggled. "You can't eat me, Ryuuzaki. That would be cannibalism."
"I never said I would devour you. I just want a little taste." L bent down and nipped at Light's collarbone.
Light still didn't trust L. L looked drugged and slightly unhinged. And hell if he was going to let L put him in a submissive position.
Light bucked his hips upward. L whimpered and seemed to momentarily return to his senses.
L glanced down at the silently fuming Light and chewed his bottom lip. "I apologize, Raito-kun." He let go of Light's hands. That was all it took.
Light shoved L off of him and before the detective could recover, their positions were reversed. "What the hell is wrong with you?" Light growled. "Are you drunk? On drugs? Off drugs? Something is definitely wrong with you."
L laughed, looking up at Light with a coy look. "I love when Raito-kun gets mad and takes charge." He lifted his arms as though asking for a hug.
Light warily lowered his body on top of L and allowed L to wrap his arms around him. L's eyes were soft and clouded with pleasure. L willingly parted his lips for Light and eagerly returned Light's kisses.
Light gradually began to let down his guard. Surely this normal, tame, uke L was not the same as the aggressive L who had wanted to eat him earlier.
"Mmm, you taste good," L murmured.
Light paused as L's stomach growled. L smiled coquettishly. "If Raito-kun refuses to buy me sweets, he must satiate me with something else."
Light's eyes widened in shock as L's hands wandered down to the waist band of his pants. "You mean oral sex? You hate that, remember? We tried it once and you ended up spitting all over the carpet and then gargling the rest of the day. I know it's just that you hate salt, but it's still rude, so never again."
"I'll be good, I promise," L murmured, his eyes half-lidded with lust. He nuzzled against Light and licked at Light's neck. "I'm just so hungry," he whimpered.
That did it for Light. "Okay," he said quickly. "Just don't try to bite me again. You're no vampire."
"No," L murmured cheerfully. "But I'm sure Raito-kun tastes good."
"Ryuuzaki," Light said warningly.
"Ah, don't mind me, sundae-san," L murmured vaguely. "You can do what you want to me."
"Uhh…L? Dreaming of being molested by sweets? That's a new one for you."
"You say such kind things to me, my dear lollipop," L said softly. "I will make it up to you."
L latched onto Light's finger and sucked on it, making happy sounds.
Light, although highly aroused by this display of affection, was increasingly worried about L's sanity. "What the hell are you doing? Let go!"
"Oh, don't worry about me, Raito-kun," L murmured. 'I'm just sucking on my-hey, you're not a lollipop." L looked disappointed.
"Well, I've got something else for you to suck on," Light growled. 'Finish what you started."
"Oh yes," L said happily. "Raito-kun would like to have me perform fellatio on him." L made a noise almost like a purr. "That would make me happy."
"Ugh," Light groaned. 'What would make me happy is if you got therapy. I've really learned my lesson. You're psychologically dependant on sugar. So, I'll get you something to eat so we don't have to go through this again."
L nuzzled against Light's chest. "Mm…Raito-kun is the most fragrant strawberry I have ever seen." He yanked off Light's shirt and fastened his teeth on one of Light's nipples.
Light yelped. "Oww! Don't eat me! I already told you not to."
L lapped at the wounded nipple with his tongue, purring into the action. "Ah, Raito-kun, how is it that you are blessed with such fine anatomy?"
"Mmph-uh-I don't know. Damn, that feels good. Keep it up."
"No, I don't think I will," L said pleasantly. "I want to explore."
Light groaned as L's tongue began lapping at his second nipple. "Damn you, Ryuuzaki. What's gotten into you?"
"It's alright, Raito-kun," L cooed. "I know you don't like to lose. But I'll make losing fun."
Light whimpered uncharacteristically as L unfastened his pants. What was wrong with him? L was more mentally unbalanced than usual and he was being quite aggressive. Why was this combination turning him on?
L reverently slid Light's boxers off and let them drop to the floor. "Ah, Raito-kun is so attractive all flushed and sweaty. All these beautiful reactions just for me."
"Go to hell," Light gasped out as L reverently touch a finger to the tip of his erection.
L's eyes were half-lidded with lust. "Mm, I bet even this part of you tastes delicious."
L took Light's length into his mouth, delighting in the moans and curses coming from the boy. Fantastic. Light made a great uke.
After a great deal of writhing on the ground from Light, L had sucked the boy dry and Light was docile and content. "God, Ryuuzaki. You have a talented mouth."
"Yes, yes I do. But I do not get to pleasure you for nothing. I want my own needs taken care of."
L shrugged sleepily. "I suppose it's fair. I'll suck you off too."
L grinned evilly. "No, I require more than that."
Light gasped as L lifted his hips off the floor and rammed himself into Light.
Light let out a pained cry. "Aah-no, Ryuuzaki! Don't do this to me. I'm the seme, remember?"
"Not today," L said pleasantly. "It's your turn."
"But I haven't done this before! It hurts. Please, I was nice to you your first time."
"I suppose," L admitted. He slowed down and gently stroked Light's thighs. "I'll make it good for you."
Light let out several uncharacteristic whimpers and moans as L took to the task of kindly screwing Light's brains out. The teen really was attractive with his flawless façade shattered. Light's face was flushed and sweaty and he was practically yanking out his own hair. How interesting.
Light's shriek signaled that Light had reached his peak. L had reached his own peak as well, and the two geniuses collapsed in a pool of sweaty, sticky limbs.
Light tried to control his breathing as L shifted and pulled out of him. L definitely was unstable without his sugar, unstable enough to rape his lover. Well, the rape hadn't actually been as bad as Light feared. But damn it, he was the seme and L was the uke. He wasn't supposed to like being on bottom.
L's eyes fluttered shut and he drape his arm contentedly over Light's back. He was asleep almost immediately.
Light sighed. Damn him. He looked so angelic when he slept. But that didn't forgive the fact that L was a raging monster without sugar. Well, he would never let L go without sugar again. Maybe, if he made sure L had an endless supply of sugar, L would slip back into his role as uke and Light could pick his pride off the ground where L had repeatedly stomped on it with spiky shoes. Yeah, that might work.
L's eyes snapped open. He glared at Light. "I'm hungry," he ground out. "You haven't let me eat my daily fill of sugar."
Light let out an undignified yelp and hastily threw on his clothes. "I-I'll be right back," he stammered. "Going out to the store right now."
L looked confused as Light dashed out the door. "What, was it something I said?" he asked the empty room.