Help Me Remember
Bella simply knew her love for Jake wasn't enough. Nothing could be resolved. She had hurt him too badly. As they sat in the dark, the moonlight pouring through the window, Bella felt the tears begin to fall. Jacob stared back at her, his sadness reflecting hers. Bella leaned forward and kissed Jake, allowing herself to simply forget Edward and feel for Jake what she felt. She felt his too-hot lips move naturally with hers, a gentle innocence and slight hesitance filling his kiss.
She wanted to remember their love, wanted to keep the image and feelings she felt now. It hurt. She wanted it to hurt. She wanted her memories to cut into her, just like her decision had cut deep, bleeding gashes into Jacob's heart; a heart that deserved so much more than her.
Jacob reached up and softly caressed her cheek in his large hand, letting go of his emotions as well. How he wished they could stay this way forever, how he wished this moment would just freeze itself in time. He didn't care about the pack, or the rules, or even his anger at Bella's decision. He simply wanted right now. But he knew right now would end too soon. A sob choked him, and he had to pull away abruptly.
Bella opened her eyes to see tears streaming down Jake's face. The salt of her own tears stung her cheeks as she quietly lifted a pale hand to brush away the incarnation of all of Jacob's love, anger, and pain.
"Jake, I'm so sorry. I truly am," she whispered.
Jacob continued to stare out his window. "I know."
Those two words stung Bella worse than if he'd told her to go and phased in anger before she had been able to escape.
He slowly turned his dark gaze to her and sniffed quietly. "I love you, Bells. I wish I could think of a better way to tell you." He allowed more tears to flow, carving streams that turned silver in the full moonlight, and carving more slits into Bella's heart.
"Jake. . ." she whispered.
"Bella. . ."
She sobbed and felt his warm lips against hers again. She wrapped her arms around his neck. His hands pulled her closer. She leaned further into the kiss, knowing this would be the last time she would ever see Jake.
I hope it cuts at me for the rest of my life, she thought. For the rest of my eternal life.
"Help me remember, Jacob," she whispered against his lips.
She didn't need to say more. He knew what she meant. Both of them would remember their last few hours together.
Forever they would remember a love they had chosen, not a love they couldn't help. . .
Tell me what you thought! This is my first fanfic, so please, go as easy on me as possible without lying to me!!!
~Werewolf Dancer