It was in the early hours of the morning in London on the quiet street of Princess Drive, that the life of a young boy, Gary Gaydarr would be decided.
Professor Fondleknob, the most powerful Masturbator in the world, appeared from behind a large stone statue of Michelangelo's David. He had been groping the statue for many an hour and grudgingly stopped long enough to pull from his pocket, a lip gloss wand. Fondleknob lifted the lip-gloss wand in the direction of the quietly humming streetlights. A small glob of gloss expelled from the wand and began wobbling slowly through the air. The wand let out another glob, and another, each moving towards the lights that lined Princess Drive until all the lights had been covered and dulled by the gloss globs.
When at last the final streetlight was covered in gloss, Fondleknob turned to a small black pussy. The pussy was sitting patiently on the sill of one of the nearby houses and let out a soft "Bark!"
The black pussy jumped down from the sill with a huff and walked directly towards the observer. Professor Fondleknob gave a slight wink to the pussy, which immediately ran at him, and started humping his leg. The old Professor went ass up, his legs flying into the air, sending the black pussy skyrocketing into a nearby tree.
"Damn horny cats!" exclaimed the distressed Fondleknob as he pulled himself together.
As the Professor straightened his long black velvet robe, another pussy walked up to him.
"Get back psycho kitty!" Fondleknob rasped, trying to keep his voice low.
But this pussy looked as though it was convulsing or getting ready to chunder. Professor Fondleknob shielded his face, preparing for the blow, but the pussy began to enlarge, and was, in minutes, a fully-grown woman.
"Pull yourself together Professor Fondleknob!" giggled Professor Macgonorrhea, "It's just me. I dared that other pussy to hump your leg, and you should have seen your face!"
As Macgonorrhea again broke into laughter, a light ringing could be heard in the distance, and quickly became louder.
"It must be Fagrid," said Fondleknob flatly, resenting Macgonorrhea for her joke.
"I wonder if the child will still be alive, after having Fagrid drooling all over him!" exclaimed Macgonorrhea as she began chortling with amusement.
Moments later, Fagrid, the 12ft tall 'midget' gently landed the bright pink, lace covered vehicle. But the moment the tricycle came to a halt, all three wheels fell off.
"I've been meaning to fix that," said Fagrid, red with embarrassment.
He picked the heavily blanketed child out of the pink and yellow flowered basket on the front of the bike, and handed him to Fondleknob.
"The little queer fell asleep just as we were riding over Butplug," Fagrid smiled.
"Well it is for his benefit that he grows up here, away from our world. Most Fuggles don't accept our ways, and besides, there are the rumours," explained Fondleknob.
"What rumours Professor?" asked Macgonorrhea, "The ones about you and I?"
"No-one is stupid enough to believe that, you fanny-lickin' dike!" protested Professor Fondleknob, "I am talking about the ones surrounding the child."
Professor Macgonorrhea and Fagrid followed Fondleknob's lead to the garden path of number 13 Princess Drive without another word. Fondleknob laid the small child down at the Dickweed's front door. At this point, Fagrid began to cry. Fondleknob interrupted Fagrid's sobbing.
"Remember Fagrid, this is not really goodbye for 'Gary Gaydarr'."