April Fools At Shinra HQ
By shadows-of-flame aka Nyte Dancer
Pairings: Minor Tseng/Reno, and Rufus/Elena if you read between the lines.
I characterise Reno a lot differently to some people might- mine smokes like a chimney and drinks like a fish, swings both ways, loves to fuck with people, swears about as much as I do, and didn't have an overly hard, angsty past before he worked for the Turks. ...needless to say, I haven't written for him all that much, and feedback will be adored and rewarded with cookies. :D
April 1st. The only day in Shinra that was equally dreaded and equally looked forward to by employers and employees alike, apart from Tseng's birthday. And his birthday only counted because so many people had their pay docked for trying to guess his real age, much to the amusement of Rufus Shinra. 'Nine hundred', as Reno had discovered more than once, was not the right answer.
The leader of the Turks started being cautious as soon as he woke up, checking his shampoo to make sure no one had mixed in hair dye; so close to being paranoid it would have been funny to anyone watching him. He also checked for button-hole cameras, every trick in the book he knew of and checked for. His motto, apart from Appear weak when you are strong, and strong when you've just realised you left your extra clip in your underwear drawer, was 'Never give the Turks any reason to have blackmail against you'. A tried and true motto, even Tseng would admit it.
"I don't suppose anyone will ever forget Elena's fetish for pink and black undergarments... or at least, Reno won't let anyone," he thought to himself with a slight smirk on his face, still as wary as ever as he reached Shinra HQ. Expertly sidestepping a can of paint that clattered to the floor near his feet as soon as he opened the door, Tseng was almost immediately greeted with a furious Elena holding a paint-gun to an all-too familiar redheaded mop.
"That didn't work last year, and don't think it will this year Reno! I swear! ...oh. Er... Sir!"
Tseng just folded his arms, all too amused at Reno trying to escape Elena's wrath to tell either of them off. And him being amused was either something to be afraid of, or something to be marveled at. "An April Fool's prank, I take it Elena? Dare I ask what he did this time?"
"Wrote a love letter to the President from me," the rookie fumed, trying to control the blush on her face and at the same time keep the redhead from escaping. She shot her boss a look that asked, "Can I shoot him with the paint-ball gun? Just once?"
"Reno... what do I have to do to make you give up these foolish pranks?" Tseng sighed, running a hand through his hair, still surprised he hadn't sprouted any grey hairs yet.
A smirk the size of Midgar claimed Reno's lips, and he replied, "You 'n' me, date at 7th Heaven tonight - my shout."
Obviously, the thought of Reno and Tseng together at a bar proved too much for Elena, and she dropped the gun. Tseng's face curled into a sarcastic smirk of his own.
"Haha, Reno. Very funny. April Fool's."
Reno's smirk didn't change, and within seconds he was almost flush up against his boss, the older Turk noticing his suit was already stained with several brightly-coloured paint stains. Soon the raven-haired man found himself backed up against Rude's desk, Reno's hands on either side of his hips.
"I'm perfectly serious! C'mon! Why can't you believe me?"
Tseng took a deep breath. "I should think 'because it's April Fool's Day' is as good a reason as any, really. If you had seriously wanted to go out on a date with me, which isn't likely, you wouldn't have asked today. Not to mention you paying for any outing is about as rare as Rude wearing a skirt."
Reno couldn't help but start to splutter with uncontrollable laughter at this comparison, and Elena paled.
"How many days a year do you let Reno pick an incentive to stop picking on people though, sir?" Elena asked, butting in a little while respectfully averting her gaze from Tseng, who was being distracted by the redhead far too much to notice that he was basically lying flat on the desk.
"I came to the decision years ago that it's too dangerous to, yet today I seemed to have forgotten that," Tseng frowned, realising that Reno had pushed him right back against Rude's desk and while he had been preoccupied thinking, the younger Turk had shifted paperwork so that neither of them would crumple any of the paper and get Rude mad. Not to mention Reno was currently straddling him.
With a wolfish grin, Reno replied, "I won't let you up until you say 'yes' boss-man. It's not like I'm expectin' mind-blowin' sex from you or anything..." at this, Elena let out a small choke and flushed a deeper red, "...but just a coupla drinks, y'know, gettin' you out of this stuffy office one in a while."
He could almost see the gears turning in the head Turk's brain before he gave in and nodded, sighing a little. "If you dare stand me up, I'll have your guts for garters."
Reno gave him a genuine grin, leaning down to quickly press his lips against Tseng's. The surprised Turk kissed him back, before pushing the redhead off him, chuckling a little to himself.
"Be ready at seven, and wear something 'pretty'," the Turk laughed, running off down the corridor before Tseng could change his mind.
Blinking, Tseng sat up slowly, not wanting to explain to Rude why his desk was such a mess, nor to the medic why Elena had a serious nosebleed and was red in the face.
And least of all to Rufus when the blond found a love letter to him, from Elena, in Reno's handwriting.