My first ever one shot, prompted by my own personal experience of catching the end of a sordid conversation, only to find out it was completely PG-13.
I love you Blaine, but for this fic to work, I've banished you existence completely. sorry.
What Did You Just Say?
"For many of you, this is your last few weeks at McKinley." Mr. Shue said sombrely from the middle of the choir room. He seemed genuinely saddened by the prospect, which made Puck snort. If anyone was used to numerous goodbye's, it should have been teachers. "You last chance to tie up lose ends and your last chance to do those things you never got round to doing." Ripping the lid off one of his many markers, Shue walked over to the white board and wrote 'LAST CHANCE' on the board.
Puck didn't understand what any of that had to do with music and was even more confused when his teacher didn't elaborate or tell them to come up with a song. Instead, Mr. Shue sighed sadly, turned on his heels and walked out of the room with his shoulders hunched.
Then the room burst to life with several conversations. Surprisingly, it was the less vocal students who spoke first. Mike began talking to Artie about god knows what, Sam began whispering to Brittany and Rory. Sugar began speaking to Rachel until the drama queen was unceremoniously pulled by the arm by Santana. The Latina whispered something into a startled Rachel's ear and as soon as Santana pulled back, Rachel's dark brown eyes locked on Puck's. The expressionless stare was enough to make Puck shift awkwardly in his seat before Rachel looked back at Santana and nodding subtly. Santana, who paid absolutely no attention to Puck, smirked and dragged the small diva across the room to where Mercedes, Tina and Kurt were huddled up in the corner.
"Got anything you wanted to do, but never did?" Finn, Puck's best friend, asked as he threw himself in the chair next to him.
"If by anything, you mean 'anyone'." Puck smirked, tearing his eyes from the crowd of girls and Kurt to face Finn.
"Are you serious?" Finn asked in surprise. Puck just shrugged in response. It was only said as a joke but his mind began racing, thinking of all the tail he could chase while he still had the chance. "But you've like had everyone." Finn reminded him awkwardly as his eyes moved over Brittany, Santana, Rachel, Mercedes, Sugar and Quinn, who had since joined Sugar in an animated discussion.
"What are they talking about?" Puck asked evasively, nodding towards the large group huddled in the corner. He preferred not to talk to Finn about his past sexploits, considering two had been his girlfriend's at the time. Finn liked to act neutral about it all now, but Puck knew it was still a sensitive subject.
"Um.." Finn started, looking between the group and Puck, looking awkward as hell. "Rachel said something a couple of weeks ago about getting Kurt laid before he went to college or something. I guess this is his last chance."
Puck's eyebrows rose high. He hadn't took an interest in Kurt's sex life but for whatever reason, he sort of assumed Kurt had lost his virginity ages ago. But then again, with who? The gay pool in Lima wasn't exactly flourishing. "What's he said to you about it?"
"Dude, he's my brother." Finn frowned. "We don't talk about sex and stuff with each other. I mean I knew he wasn't experienced but I didn't know he wanted to change that so soon until Rachel told me. I just want Kurt to be happy and between me and you…" his voice dropped to barely a whisper, so much so that Puck had to lean in to hear. "… I think it might be good for him, loosen him up a bit." Puck laughed at the phrasing, Finn's confused face proved he didn't catch the double entendre. "Only gays I know though are Dave Karofsky and Sandy Ryerson, and I'm not too keen on the idea of any of them near my little brother."
"He's your step brother and he's older than you." Puck corrected, although he too agreed the thought of either Dave or Sandy fucking Kurt with their tiny pathetic dicks weren't comforting or amusing.
Puck and Kurt were friends. Kinda. Maybe. Ok, they weren't. But they did get along. It was a sibling thing, Finn was cool with Puck's little brother and sister, and Puck was cool with Kurt. Just like Finn with Jake and Sarah, Puck would try include Kurt in their shit when he was around their house. Kurt 90% of the time declined, but it didn't matter. The point was Jake, Sarah and Kurt were under the sibling act and by principle, it was Puck and Finn's job to make sure they were happy and safe and shit.
The thought of Kurt losing his virginity didn't bother Puck, heck the kid need to grow up sometime, it was with whom that lingered in Puck's brain. Just like with Jake and Sarah (when she was 35), only the best would do.
As if confirmation was needed on the group's secret discussion, Kurt made a squeaking noise and fled the choir room, blushing furiously, with the girls hot on his trail.
"We gotta keep an eye on him." Finn demanded and Puck nodded.
Puck was in math class when he first heard it. Math being something he was naturally good at, Puck wasn't listening to their teacher, then again, nobody seemed to be, hence why he caught on to a snippet of conversation between Mercedes and Kurt.
"….It gets me so hot." Kurt groaned and Puck's hazel eyes widen and turned to the pair.
"What did you just say?" Puck asked in surprise and the other two turned to look at him with a frown.
"I was merely commenting on the fact that this sweater, no matter how fabulous, is seriously too hot to wear at this time of year." Kurt replied, still frowning. "Why do you ask?"
"No reason." Puck amended, turning away from them and slumping down in his seat.
It was Monday in history class when once again he couldn't help but eavesdrop on Kurt's whispered conversation with Tina. He couldn't be blamed; Finn had asked him to keep an eye out.
"…I stroke it softly." Was the part he caught.
"What did you just say?" Puck asked, leaning forward on his desk to get a look at Kurt who Tina was blocking.
Kurt tipped his head to look over Tina's shoulder, the frown ever persistent.
"Brittany asked early for tips on calming Lord Tubbington and I was telling Tina that I usually stroke the cat into submission." Puck let out a sigh of relief. "Why do you ask?"
"No reason." Puck shrugged and went back to his work.
Things took a turn for the weird on Wednesday at Lunch. The whole glee club were in the courtyard, catching the rays from the sun and chatting about nonsense amongst themselves, when Puck, who was once again close enough to hear parts of Kurt's quiet conversation, experienced something… interesting.
"… spread open and waiting." Kurt sighed dreamily to Rachel.
"What did you just say?" Puck asked, taking off his sunglasses and giving Kurt a hard stare.
"Not that it is any of your business, but I was telling Rachel about how in tune my father is with me. When I came home from school yesterday, there was the new issue of Vogue waiting for me on my bed on my favourite page." Kurt answered in an annoyed voice. "Why do you ask?"
"No reason." Puck replied and went back to tanning his guns.
It wasn't until later in Glee practice when Kurt lay on the choir room floor and spread his legs apart to stretch them. Luckily for him, Puck still had his sunglasses on, so no one, apart from himself, noticed that he watched the whole thing, riveted.
Puck had been unconsciously watching Kurt's legs a lot since the stretching incident two days ago and he told himself that the reason why it piqued his interest so much was because the had never seen a man be able to spread his legs so far. It was interesting and confusing, but nothing more. That's what Puck had been telling himself, including when they were in chemistry Friday afternoon. Once again, near Kurt and picking up on bits of his conversation with Santana.
"….hard into the mattress."
"What did you just say?" Puck asked in shock, turning to Kurt and nearly setting fire to himself on the Bunsen burner.
"I was telling Santana about the time I thought I broke my wrist during that jump commercial during sophomore year. I sprained in when I fell hard into the mattress." Kurt answered, not even bothering to look up from his text book. "Why do you ask?"
"No reason." Puck mumbled, letting his eyes drift down to Kurt's legs again, settling on his thighs which were hugged tightly by black fabric.
Another part of Kurt took Puck's interest in Spanish on Monday morning. He was sitting behind Kurt and Brittany at the back of the room, watching Kurt's legs sway back and forth on the stall when he heard..
"…feel right in my mouth.." Puck gulped and nearly choked on his saliva, recovering just in time to hear "…wrap my tongue around it."
"What did you just say?" Puck asked in a harsh whisper, poking Kurt in the back with a pencil to get his attention. Kurt turned to look at his unimpressed, but Puck's eyes rested on Kurt's pink full lips.
"Senor Martinez, his first name is David. David, how traditionally English. I expected something like Pedro or whatever, Dave Martinez sounds weird on my tongue." Kurt answered. "Why do you ask? He asked, biting his bottom lip unsurely, Puck licked his drying lips.
"No reason." He answered through a cough and went back to pretending to pay attention to his teacher.
Puck was going to have to tell Finn to do his own shit and look after his own family, because Puck wasn't sure how long he could get away with staring at Kurt's mouth, tongue and ass. If people saw, they would probably think he was gay for Hummel or some shit and he definitely wasn't. Problem was, Finn was nowhere to be found and once he entered the choir room on Tuesday, Rachel told the group he was off school with a fever, leaving Puck to once again, sit by Kurt and catch snippets of his conversation with Mercedes.
"…feel it deep in my throat." And then Kurt swallow and Puck's watched his throat in worrying wonder.
"What did you just say?" Puck asked in a hoarse voice, causing Mercedes and Kurt to look at him peculiarly.
"I was telling Mercedes that I won't be singing a song today as I think I've got whatever Finn had, I feel a tickle in the back of my throat. You sound like you might have it too." Kurt answered, raising his hand to stroke his own neck. Puck watched the delicate fingers dancing across Kurt's bobbling Adam's apple. "Why do you ask?"
"No reason." Puck choked out.
"I'm not doing this anymore." Puck growled at Finn as the walked down the corridor on Wednesday.
"Doing what?"
"Keeping a lookout for Kurt"
"Oh yeah, I forgot about that. How's it going. Found out anything interesting?" Finn asked.
Only that I might be somewhat attracted to your brother's ass, legs, mouth, tongue and throat. "Nah."
"We were probably wrong then." Finn shrugged and walked ahead. "See you in gym." He waved and disappeared around the corner.
"…. Hard and long, it feels great in my hand." Kurt's voice came from beside him. Startled, Puck turned to face him, only to notice that he was outside Kurt's locker where the boy in question was talking to Tina.
"What did you just say?"
"Oh hello Puckerman." Kurt jumped and held his chest, giving Puck a perfect view of his long pale fingers. "I was just telling Tina about how great my dad's new fishing rod it." Kurt smiled and then frowned slightly. "Why do you ask?"
"No reason." Puck muttered, tearing his eyes away from the hand and storming down the corridor.
It was inevitable really. Puck always had an overactive imagination, he called it creative while others called it destructive. Either way, it was only a matter of time that his imagination would kick in while he was rubbing one out in the shower. Scene started as usual, Santana and Brittany making out and the steam or something from the water began blurring the images. All he could see was Santana's tan and Brittany pale lithe shape. Then as the images cleared up, Santana was now Puck and Brittany had different legs, a different, nicer ass, different mouth and tongue and wrapped different pale fingers around Puck's shaft. It was the first, and he doubted the last time, that Puck came with Kurt's name on his lips.
Obviously, he kept it cool in school and never let on, but that didn't stop him from nearly choking on Friday when he overheard Kurt and Santana in biology.
"…Swallow the load."
"What did you just say?" Puck croaked, imagining Kurt's mouth, lips and throat swallowing all the come Puck had spilled in the shower over him.
"I said…" Kurt began through a yawn. "..that these tests are exhausting and I feel the only way to graduate is to find a load of those vitamin D pills and swallow them all." Kurt's eyes flicker to Santana who looked at Puck like he had no business interrupting their conversation. "Why do you ask?"
"No reason." Puck pouted and went back to his work.
In the last Glee club meeting off the year, and forever in Puck's case, he arrived slightly late and took the only seat left available, in-between Kurt and Rachel. The reason for his tardiness and because he was an 18 year old boy with an overactive imagination and when hormones came calling, Puck rushed to the boys bathroom.
His cock was spent, over sensitive and limp when he finally sat down in glee, in the middle of the two diva's who apparently where in the middle of a discussion.
"...I wanna be so full that I feel it for days." Kurt moaned sinfully.
"What did you say?" Puck asked in surprise.
"Oh, you missed the announcement, Shue's paying for us to eat at Breadstix tonight and I for one am taking advantage of their unlimited breadsticks." Kurt bounced on his seat excitedly and that along with the misinterpretation was enough to get Puck hard again. "Why do you ask?"
"No reason." Puck sighed and fled to room to dash, once again to the bathroom.
It was graduation day and everyone had received their diplomas, including Puck and the mood was a good one. They were all in the parking lot of the school with their families, half the students crying. The Glee kids weren't though, they had several arrangements to meet up throughout the summer before parting ways on their new adventures.
Puck was talking to Jake, Sarah and his mom about how happy he was to finally be rid of McKinley when he heard Kurt talking to Brittany next to him.
"…I love the feel of it between my legs while I ride it."
"What did you just say?" Puck turned to face Kurt, ignoring his mother's annoyed rant about not being able to keep his attention.
"My dad bought me a motorbike as my graduation present. I rode it this morning, real beauty of a machine." Kurt said in a happy tone. "Why do you ask?"
"No reason." Puck said, well more like whimpered, which caused Kurt to frown momentarily before going back to his conversation with Brittany.
Puck was staying at the Hudmels house the night before Kurt moved to New York and after half an hour of trying to sleep with Finn's snoring breaking his ear drums, Puck decided to go down into the kitchen for a midnight snack.
As he was just finishing a grill cheese, he heard a noise from behind him that made him turn around at top speed and come face to face with an equally awake Kurt.
"Excited about tomorrow?" Puck asked with a gulp, feeling the heat from Kurt's body against his.
"Incredibly." Kurt sighed happily, ducking his head slightly to look at Puck through his lashes. "Before I go though, I have a confession to make."
"I'm all ears dude." Puck replied in almost a whisper, semi aware that everyone else in the house was asleep.
"I would never complain about clothing." Kurt sighed and the randomness of the state caused Puck to frown. "I'm allergic to cats. My father has no idea what Vogue is. I didn't hurt myself during the mattress commercial. Senor Martinez was introduced as David when he came by the Glee Club. I never had a tickle in my throat. I've never even held a fishing rod. I swore to never take vitamin D ever again. I hate bread sticks and my father never bought me a motorbike for graduation."
Puck was super confused by the confessions and had no idea what bought it on. Maybe if Kurt wasn't standing so close, looking so damn fuckable, he would have be able to wrap his head around things, but he couldn't.
"I don't understand." He whispered.
"It's rude to eavesdrop Puckerman." Kurt chastised, looking Puck squarely in the eyes. "So let me say it in a way that can't be misinterpreted." He stopped, gulped and then let out a steady breath that ghosted over Puck's face. " I want Noah Puckerman to fuck my tight virgin hole until I'm screaming his name."
Puck froze. "What did you just say?"
"I want you to make me a man before I go to college." Kurt whispered softly, dragging his hands up Puck's torso and idly playing with his nipple ring. "You think you up to the job?"
Puck's eyes dilated until they were almost black and he concentrated on the feel of Kurt's hand on him and the words spoken to him. He was as hard as steel at the prospect of finally having those legs around him, that ass given to him, those lips, that tongue, that throat swallowing him.
"Are… are you sure you want it to be me?" he asked hoarsely, leaning in ever so slightly so his nose bumped against Kurt's.
"Trust me, I've wanted this for a very long time." Kurt smirked and then bit his lip enticingly. "Why do you ask?"
"No reason." Puck barely got out before he smashed his lips against Kurt's in the beginnings of what would end up being the best nights of their high school lives.
END