A/N: I dislike author notes before a story, but this one is necessary. If you want to skip it, scroll down to the beginning.
This takes place after Day 255, the gap between of scenes we see with Xion at Castle Oblivion that day. Now, since I don't expect you to go play the game to see that scene or take the extra time to look it up on youtube, I will write it out! Most of it will be actually from the game, though with a bit of AkuShi. ;)
This was originally going to be on my story A Hundred of Her Memories for the 98th prompt, but it got longer and longer and longer... And I realized that 1,900 words was way over the 100 word limit. ;P
So now I present to you...
Who Are You?
by
Timber Wolf of Purity
Xion's Diary Entry: Day 225
My body feels heavy, and my head aches. I'm too busy dreaming to get any rest from sleep. Axel knows something. He's hiding some secret. It must be in Castle Oblivion. That's where I was born.
Xion reread her journal, her black brow puckered in annoyance. She had written that entry thirty days ago.
"A whole month," she said with a clenched jaw. She slammed the book shut, sliding it back into its hiding place underneath her pillow. "I can't wait anymore. I have to know now."
The black-haired girl raised her arm to summon a Dark Corridor and ran through it. Moments after, a duplicate corridor appeared and a tall cloaked figure walked through. He glanced curiously at the portal that wasn't his own swirling to his right. But he didn't spend another moment pondering it. Instead, he went directly to Number XIV's bed and lifted up the white pillow.
"There it is…" he muttered. He reached out a slender, gloved hand and grasped the book. "A month ago, she said, eh? Let's see." The skinny Nobody fanned through the pages of the elegant, feminine journal. His green eyes swiftly skimmed the entry dates until they alighted on the one he wanted.
"Day two-hundred and twenty-five," he hummed. "My body…" The man instantly sobered as he read the curly script of Xion's pen. "…Too busy dreaming to get any rest… Axel knows… hiding some secret… Castle Oblivion." He straightened his back and looked out the bedroom window. Kingdom Hearts loomed ominously in the dark, starless sky. "Xion…"
The man carefully placed the book back in its hiding place and put the pillow back.
"Guess I have a double mission at the Castle today. Why does everything have to be so icky?"
Saïx had already assigned missions, so Xion knew that no one would be looking for her for a while. A detour to Castle Oblivion would go unnoticed and she'd still be able to finish her mission in time. Or at least, that was what she kept telling herself.
Xion studied the large white foyer, giving a full turnabout to see every nook and cranny of the high ceiling and walls. It seems so familiar… A sharp pain spiked through her temple.
She groaned. "Nngh...my head..." Her eyes squeezed closed, trying to press back the oncoming headache. Her sight gave way to white… then she saw everything through the dark shadow of her hood.
Saïx stood before the golden gate of Castle Oblivion, his back turned to her. He glanced over his shoulder and said, "This is the last you'll ever see of these walls, Xion." The blue-haired man walked on and she followed him, mute and emotionless.
The memory (for what else could it have been?) ended and she took a knee, clutching her head. Her eyes were closed and she could only concentrate on the throbbing in her head. She barely heard a corridor open up. Boots clicked against the marble floor and stopped just before her. The raven-haired girl lifted her pained blue eyes and saw…
"Axel..."
He stared. Something in his green eyes was calculating, judging, perhaps a touch of concern, but mostly an irritated anger. Xion tried to ignore what she saw.
"What are you...doing here...?" she panted.
"Orders," he replied tersely, "Nothing to do with you." He met her gaze, so it wasn't a lie. At least, partially, for with his next words, he trained his emerald eyes elsewhere. "Well, I'm not sure what you thought you'd find in an empty place like this."
"Don't lie to me!" she shouted. "I know this is where I come from! The answers are here." They have to be. There was nothing at the Castle That Never Was, so the answers have to be at here.
The redhead turned his angry, flaming eyes to her. "Weren't you given some other mission?" The hidden message lying underneath his words was poignant and hurtful. Leave now. You have no business here.
But Xion knew it was a lie. She looked down at her fist. Gloved fingers curled into a tight fist. How can he tell me to leave if he's really my friend?
"You can't just throw orders to the wind, Xion," Axel reprimanded, his usually lackadaisical voice rising in volume.
"Or else what?" she sneered, tears choking her words slightly. "They'll turn me into a Dusk?"
Axel swallowed as if something unpleasant clogging his throat making it hurt to even breathe. "Not even a Dusk," he said quietly. "They'll skip right past that and destroy you outright." He didn't know why that made his chest tickle or the back of his throat throb, yet it did.
Xion looked up. "Because I'm useless?" The back of her neck was heating up and there was a roiling feeling in her stomach that she could only name as 'anger.' Why does he, who I would feel proud to call a friend, have so little faith in me? The throbbing in her head renewed and she tried massaging her temples to abate it.
Axel sighed. He whispered softly, "No, I didn't say that."
The small girl gritted her teeth, ignoring the voices ringing in her head from memories that weren't even hers. She rose to her feet and fought the overwhelming sense of dizziness.
"Turn around and go home, Xion."
She took a deep breath and raised her eyes to meet his bravely. Defiance bled through her sky blue eyes. He stared back. "Axel, I'm remembering things...about who I was."
"Well, stop remembering," he grumbled. "Nothing good will come of it."
"I have dreams every night. You're in them, Axel!" She said it as if that might change his mind. But the redhead, though flattered, always had an agenda and he would not be moved from his current stance.
He shook his head. "Then they sure ain't memories. How could I be part of your past? Use your head, Xion."
"You can't fool me. We've met before, Axel, right here in this castle!" Her voice rose.
"Have not," he snapped. "Go home, Xion. Don't keep Roxas waiting."
"Please, Axel, just..." she closed her eyes and gnashed her teeth. She couldn't understand why he wasn't listening and kept refuting anything she said about the dreams. She didn't understand that he was only ignoring the inevitable. She wouldn't understand. "Help me! I need to know who I am." Bracing herself, she dashed around him and bolted toward the other side of the hall.
"Hey-stop!" Axel turned, reaching out a hand toward her. "Xion, stay out of there!" His voice went from angry to panicked, but she had already reached the doors.
The tall golden doors opened without prompting and she saw in the center of the all-white room a glass orb set on a pedestal. "What is this?" Xion stared at it in confusion. It looked familiar, but she couldn't place why. Her head throbbed worse than ever.
A hand clapped on her shoulder and she whipped around. Axel stood behind her, his green eyes more intense than she had ever seen them. "Xion," he said with all seriousness a Nobody can muster, "if you travel this road, there is no turning back."
She relaxed when he didn't drag her off immediately. "I know, but…" she let her gaze fall to his gloved hand firmly clasping her shoulder. "I feel like I'll never be complete if I don't know."
The girl didn't see, with her eyes cast downward, the brief flicker of sadness, the slight shimmer of tears in the eyes of her best friend. But it was there, and then it was gone. Axel sighed and loosed his grip, patting her shoulder awkwardly like he didn't know what to do with his hand.
"Then, before you go in there, you need to ask yourself a question: who are you? Figure out that answer and hold onto that." He leaned down and leveled his green eyes with her cerulean ones, grasping both her shoulders firmly. "Because once you go in there," he whispered, "and find out what there is to know, you might lose sight of who you were. So answer the question and hold on to who you are."
His eyes begged her for an answer, begged her to turn back and pretend things would always be the same, always happy and good. But Xion knew it wouldn't always be that way.
"I… I am…" she murmured. "I'm your best friend," she said confidently, "Roxas' and yours. I always will be."
He nodded in reluctant approval. "Good. Get it memorized, because I sure won't forget and I don't want to be the only one who remembers." The tall Nobody let go over her shoulders and straightened up.
"You're… you're letting me go?" she asked in disbelief.
He rubbed the back of his head and turned his eyes elsewhere. "Yeah, don't get too emotional. I'm not even sure why I'm doing it."
"Axel…" The redhead turned to his best friend and raised an eyebrow. Xion smiled and rushed to hug him at the waist. "Thank you, so much! I promise I'll always remember."
The older Nobody awkwardly patted her back. "Great, kid, just great. Did you even hear what I said about getting emotional?"
Xion apologized and released him from her embrace. Her smile was still wide and bright.
The thin man shook his head. "Just do your job well. Come back soon, and we'll have ice cream with Roxas."
She tapped her temple. "I've got it memorized, Axel."
He looked at the shorter girl, watched the hope grow in her eyes. Those beautiful blue eyes… The words that came out of his mouth next, he sincerely hoped would be true.
"See you soon." He reached a hand out to touch her hair, tuck that eternally stray lock behind her ear, feel its soft texture, but he stopped. Xion looked at his hand questioningly. He let his arm fall instead.
Axel opened his mouth, closed it and let out a sigh. He shook his head, waving his hand in dismissal with an 'ack' sound. The black-haired girl giggled and smiled at her best friend who truly was her best friend. The redhead smiled back involuntarily.
She always has that effect on me, he thought, raising an arm to summon a Dark Corridor and leave his best friend to her musings. He hoped she'd find herself and come back to him and Roxas. At this point, that's all I can do, is hope.
"Seriously, where is she?" Roxas looked around the corner, searching for a glimpse of their raven-haired friend.
Axel's smile faded and his eyes turned very grim. He sat up with a grunt and rested his arm across his knee. "Roxas," he huffed, "I'm not sure she's gonna show today."
Roxas startled and turned to Axel. "Did she collapse again?"
"She..." He hesitated, looking away in thought. Should I tell him the truth, that Xion is trying to figure out who she was, she is? But then he thought of how simple and naïve Roxas was and how it would hurt him.
He sighed, and put on a fake smile. "…What, didn't you hear? She got sent on a really important mission. Pretty cool, huh?"
"Oh..." The blond looked disappointed. "So when's she coming back?"
"Well, I guess that depends on how well she does her job, right?" His grin was cat-like, but only a farce of how he truly felt. He was worried. What if Xion found out something she didn't like and never came back? But he wouldn't tell Roxas that.
The boy chuckled, like he actually felt amused. "Fair enough."
No, Roxas, the shrewd man thought, glancing at the boy staring at the sunset. It's not fair. Not at all.
Roxas' Diary Entry Day 255:
Now Axel's Acting Weird
I had ice cream with Axel after work today, but Xion didn't show. Axel said she got sent on an important mission, but he wouldn't look at me when he said it. I've been wondering what's wrong with Xion all this time, but now that I stop and think about it, Axel's not himself either.
"No..." Xion stared deeply into the glass orb. Images flashed quickly, as if in fast forward, hardly making comprehensible pictures. And yet, this young Nobody, or rather, Replica, could understand.
She looked down at her boots. "Then...I'm not..." There was a sharp feeling in her chest. It felt like an orb filled with water in her chest shattered and all the liquid rained inside of her, pooling up in her eyes. "The person I was before...wasn't me." So who am I?
"I'm your best friend, Roxas' and yours. I always will be."
"Good. Get it memorized, because I sure won't forget and I don't want to be the only one who remembers."
"Axel," she whispered.
I think I'm losing myself. Save me.
Axel lifted his gaze sharply to look at the sunset.
The red of the sunlight stood out the most. It clung to the golden light, but also reached out for the dark blue, velvet night sky, trying to stay close to the night. The Flurry of Dancing Flames knew that red would be torn apart and would give up some of its color to each side.
"Xion," he whispered softly.
I'll always be there to bring you back.
Roxas' Diary Entry Day 256:
Xion's Gone Missing
Xion has gone missing, but nobody said anything about her being hurt, so that's good... I guess.
Did she run off? That doesn't make any sense. Xemnas told us not to go after her. The way Saïx explained it, it's almost like they don't think she's worth getting back.
What is going on?
A/N: This fanfiction is mostly cutscenes from the game, but I filled in the gaps. This is some of the most intense times for our favorite trio, and I hope I've done a justice to their tragedy. Hope you enjoyed the story!
The cover is by me, and you can see it on DeviantART. The link to my DeviantART profile is on my fanfiction profile. :)
In Christ,
Timber Wolf