When the nightmares become unbearable and the reminder of what she did nears, a case brings out what Ziva wanted to keep from the rest of the team forever, what she wanted to be just between her, Gibbs and Eli has to come to light. How will the rest of the team deal with it? And what happens when Ziva looses it in interrogation because of it?
Nightmares and Secrets
She woke up suddenly. Sweating. Panting. Wide eyed, as if she saw a ghost. She had nightmares often but, she didn't feel the same as she did when she dreamed of Saleem. "What had happened?" she thought to herself as she plopped her head back onto her pillow, "what had happened..." she fell back asleep.
"Ziva you must..." she was standing in front of her father's desk, it was the middle of the night in Israel, raining, "...understand. I can not let you go on this assignment. There is too much risk involved and, no. You are not going. You will be assigned here."
She was shaking her head, right hand twitching, she was angry, "No, I must go on this assignment. He is my brother! And what if you're wrong..."
"I AM NOT WRONG ABOUT THIS" Eli David was becoming increasingly angry, "I am not wrong about this, as much as it pains me to say it Ari has turned against us. Against Mossad. Against Israel. The fact that he is indeed, your brother Ziva is why I can not let you have this. Rabin is capable of doing this assignment."
"I was there when he infiltrated in the first place! I've been there from the beginning..."
"I know Ziva."
"I'm taking this assignment Deputy Director David. I will not sit back and have some amateur take the life of another Mossad Officer, the life of my brother. I will see you when it is over." she turned around to leave, but stopped when she felt a hand on her shoulder.
"Ziva...Ziva..."
"Yes?"
"I know I can not argue with you. Maybe you are right, Be careful, watch yourself, watch Ari. I would rather loose Ari than loose you."
She turned and looked into the fact of her father, concern was evident on his face, "I will contact you when I arrive, Abba."
With that she left to America. To her brother. To an uncertain future.
Pop. A gunshot...her brother on the floor...Gibb's thumb caressing her hand...Ari..
She woke up again, when she heard the shot. Had she really heard it? She was not sure. What she now knew was that Ari, himself and her mission was what was plaguing her dreams.
She got out of bed and walked to her bedroom door, not bothering to turn on the light. She slipped out and what she felt next almost made her faint. She felt a a sharp pain in her left shoulder, like a bullet wound. She could have sworn she heard the laughter of her brother...but she just brushed it off as a side effect of her dream.
"I have completely lost it..." she told herself as she threw on her running clothes and headed into the early morning air.