Disclaimer: Do I need to.

Summary: Sazh would be needing a lot of it, if he was to catch up with the youngsters he was stuck with babying. Especially Vanille. Platonic Sazh/Vanille, set at Sulyya Springs.

A/N: The title's taken from the lyrics of the track by the same name. If you're really interested as to why I perform acts of disappearing for months on end, PM me. If not, just read and (hopefully) enjoy this short ficlet. :)

P.S. I love Sazh but his stats suck. I mean, in my current end-game, Snow has higher magic than him.

Word Count: 997 words.

It was during their many misadventures through the Sulyya Springs that a sudden realisation smacked Sazh on his afro with all of the ferocity of a chocobo and nearly toppled him over.

It was that he really sucked.

The only time he was really useful was whenever he wasn't on the same team as Hope; which, thankfully, was never, since he was always put with Vanille and Fang for team of three, surprise surprise. But both him and Hope now knew the same abilities, only that Hope's magical ability was through the roof (literally), and Sazh was... well. He was only slightly better than Snow, which wasn't really much of an achievement to boost about. Strength-wise? Vanillewas stronger than him. Vanille. Cute little Vanille who could tear an Ochu limb to painful limb apart while dancing with her six fishing rods. It was ridiculous!

Vanille had obviously noted his downcast mood, for she had hung behind to chat to him, despite Lightning's previous orders to stick with Fang as side lookout for monsters. "What's wrong?" she asked, clasping her hands behind her back, smiling. "You look down."

"Nah." He waved her concerns away. Instead, he focused on the view, listened to the rushing water, along with the chirruping and rippets of the unusual monsters nearby. Sulyya Springs was beautiful, in a strange, haunting way. His eyes found the floating haven of Cocoon, where Dajh was. Only it wasn't such a haven – just a massive temple of sacrifices, really – and Dajh was trapped in crystal.

But he'd get him out. Someday.

Somehow.

"Telllll me," Vanille whined, her accent thick. "I won't leave you alone until you do."

Might as well spill it out. "I am useless," Sazh declared. "Absolutely, completely, utterly useless. You'd have more use out of a stick."

"How what you are?" Vanille exclaimed. She immediately found both of Sazh's hands with her own and bounced them up and down. "No way are you useless, old man! Who else would be our daddy?"

"Oh, I dunno, Light?"

Vanille giggled. "Very funny."

"Alright, alright. Snow?"

She stopped laughing and gave him a long, hard look. Sazh shrugged. "What?"

"Now I know that you're definitely joking."

"Hey, come on! He's the only other male adult here, right? Makes sense."

"It's Snow. And age doesn't matter!" she chirped. "I mean, technically, I'm five hundred and nineteen, but you don't see me and Fang bossing around the others, right? Y'know why? It's because age doesn't matter!" Suddenly, her hands shot up to her chin, green eyes gleaming with the sense of discovery. "Is that why you're upset? Because you think you're old and useless and just slow everyone down?"

"...Yeah?"

"Well stop it!" she chided, taking his hands again and grinning. "We need someone to keep us in check, right? Besides, Hope's always too busy healing to cast Haste or whatever on us when we actually need it, and – keep it a secret, but he's really slow. I think Fang accidentally gave him a Slow charm instead of the Hermes Sandals."

Sazh chuckled loudly. Lightning cast a look over her shoulder, gave a small smile, and went back to telling off Snow, with Hope laughing just in front of them. "You don't need to make me feel better, Vanille."

"You're right," she suddenly said, face determined. "Because you're got him to make you feel better!"

"Got who-? Oh, right." He felt his hair ruffle, before the baby chocobo popped out of it, singing happily to itself. It flapped about and landed in his open palms. He studied it, smiling. "Well, if the chocobo wants to help me, then I can't really argue, can I?"

"We're coming up to Taejin's Tower soon," Vanille suddenly announced. "And we'll need to spilt up into teams. It's a complete maze!"

"Joy." At this, the chocobo happily snuggled back into his hair, chirping. Sazh made a mental note to wash it soon. He could smell the... well, poop.

"At least you're stuck with me and Fang!" she declared. "She knows the way around like the front of Snow's face."

"Really?" Sazh raised his eyebrows, laughing. "She knows his face very well, what with all of the punching she frequently does."

"Well... okay, maybe not that well." Vanille gave him a playful shove, but it nearly sent him crashing down. That girl didn't know her own limits! "But we'll learn the way around, huh? Just like old times!"

"And, just like old times, we'll probably be confronted by giant heaps of trash."

"And homicidal scorpions!"

"Ah, where's the weed killer when you need it?"

"This dampness is damp!" Vanille shrieked.

Sazh burst out into full-blown laughter, earning a smack on the neck from Fang, who had been trailing behind them all. "Alright, funny man," she chided, smirking. "Let's get moving, yeah?" She glanced at Vanille's giggling form. "You ain't any better, Vanille!"

"You go on ahead!" the girl managed to say between her fits of giggles. "We'll be up there in a minute."

"More like an hour," Fang muttered, but she playfully hit the both of them on their heads. "Hurry up, alright? I'm sure that Light is thrilled at all of this giggling, but I think she'll take it out on Snow in a minute."

"Uh oh!" Vanille gasped, then waved at the woman. "Ciao!"

Fang gave a wave before jogging off over the slippery rocks. "Ciao, belle!"

Sazh looked at her retreating form fondly. Fang was definitely a good woman. Anyone had to be, if they were best friends with Vanille. Speaking of Vanille...

"Huh?" he asked, bewildered as she grasped his hand and yanked him forward. "Whoa whoa whoa hey! Whatcha doing, kid!?"

Laughing, Vanille continued to tow him towards the four people waiting for them. "Hurry up, old man! People are waiting on us!"

"I'm coming I'm coming I'm coming!"

"No you're not!"

"If you'd stop pulling me then I will!"

And that, as they say, was that.