Thirteen

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Don't really know when this is set but I don't think it really matters. It just came from nowhere in around half an hour when I couldn't stop typing it. It's depressing and I should really stop writing things like this but I can't- no idea why.

Cancer. Cancer. Cancer. The word echoed through his head loudly, clearly and terrifyingly, so that he could think of nothing else. The chant that he so desperately tried to block out just increased and increased; even screwing his eyes up tightly to block out his horrifying world didn't work all he could then see was his mother.

He couldn't remember the day they told him but he could remember the day Finn had told the others. The two brothers had sat at the front of the choir room and for once Finn's hand was clutched tightly in his and was shaking so much that he had to cover it with his other hand.

There had a been a tense silence in the room which none of them were willing to break; the others being all too aware that something terrible had happened. Finally Mr Schue had prompted Finn coming over to stand behind the taller teen and laying a hand on his shoulder trying to hide his shock at how easily he could feel the bone. But not even he had been aware of the truth.

Finn had blurted it out in rushing words that had spilled into each other. But they all heard it. "I've got cancer; three months to live." He had heard it before but the force of the words had slammed into him and his hands had slipped out of Finn's.

What followed had been the scariest silence Kurt had ever heard before everything had happened at once. Finn's legs had started to buckle and his teacher had caught him letting him sob in his shoulder. Puck had stormed out of the room kicking several chairs on his exit, Sam's head had fallen into his hands, Artie had frozen and Mike was staring at the shaking form of his friend.

Brittany had understood perfectly and had burst into wailing sobs, Mercedes had half risen from her chair before falling back into it with a single cry, Tina had slipped her hand into Mike's squeezing it so tightly that blood was slowly being cut off as her teeth began to chatter, Lauren had punched the wall before falling still, Santana had let a single scream rip from her throat and Quinn and Rachel had only looked at each other before falling into each other's arms sinking to the floor in a mess of tangled arms.

Kurt had taken one look at them all before sprinting from the room, darting past the students in the corridor blissfully unaware of the tragedy unfolding in the choir room and into the car park before throwing open his car door and driving to the one place he needed to be.

Looking back at it he had no idea how he had driven there without causing an accident he was shaking so badly but he had finally arrived at his destination and was out his car barely before he had parked it and was off at a run again into the quieter and more sophisticated halls of Dalton.

"Blaine." He had heard someone calling his boyfriend's name and knew it to be himself as he pushed open the door to the Warbler hall to see the lead singer already moving towards him. "Blaine." He had gasped again tumbling forward into his arms.

He had felt Blaine guide him towards the couch where they both collapsed, him in gasping sobs while the others gathered around them. "What's wrong?" The alarm was evident in Blaine's voice. "Kurt talk to me, what happened?"

His hand had fisted in Blaine's shirt as he finally spoke the truth. "Finn's got cancer, he's only got three months to live."

It was the first and last time he had said those words he realised staring at the front of the church where the funeral was being held. He was sitting next to his father slumped unceremoniously into his side.

The entire New Directions were squeezed into the pew behind him entangled in each others' arms as they desperately sought comfort that no one could give them. Mr Schue sat behind them his hand firmly clasped in Miss Pillsbury's and Blaine sat on the other side of his boyfriend's teacher. Even Sue Sylvester had come along and she like so many others was in tears as well.

Eventually the moment came that Kurt had been dreading. There hadn't even been a doubt in anyone's minds that they weren't going to sing and at Kurt and Rachel's insistence they had decided on 'For Good' from Wicked and by his own decision Mr Schue was joining them.

The world was moving in slow motion Kurt thought as he got up from his seat his hands finding its way into Rachel's and Santana's. Words were spoken by each member before they started to sing Kurt tried to block them out and was successful until it came to Puck.

Puck's voice was scratchy and no one failed to notice the way his hand trembled in Quinn's and Lauren's. "I wasn't always there for Finn." He began eyes firmly on the floor. "I screwed up his life several times but he was my best friend. He was always there when I needed him and I'm so sorry Finn that I wasn't there for you. I love you dude and I'll make you proud now. You were always my best friend, thank you for that."

Kurt saw Coach Beiste start to cry and then his eyes fell on his stepmother who was shaking in his father's arms. And then it was Rachel's turn. She opened her mouth to speak and then closed it shaking her head, her grip on Kurt's hand tightening as her other one found its way into her teacher's. "I loved him." she finally choked out. "I loved him so much."

She stopped then unable to go on and Kurt knew it was his turn. Like Rachel he opened and closed his mouth several times before Santana dug her nails into his palm whether to get him to talk or out sheer grief he wasn't sure. "He was my brother." He started keeping his eyes firmly away from his parents. "Only be marriage admittedly but he was my brother and I'm going to miss him so much. I love you Finn; you were the best brother anyone could ask for."

He shook his head then biting his lip as the music began to swell through the room. They had started with five and then Finn had joined, gradually they grew in numbers until even after people leaving and returning they had reached thirteen. And now they were twelve; the number they needed to compete; the number they needed but didn't want. They only wanted thirteen, an unlucky number for many but the number that made them.

Together they stood at the front with their teacher in one long line hands linked as they sung to the one they had lost. The introduction had to be played again before Quinn had the ability to actually start singing the first line.

Kurt had no idea how they did it as tears still continued to slide down faces and voices trembled but they stumbled through the song but as the last note faded Kurt knew it had been good.

That evening he found himself in his brother's room collapsed on the bed in sobs. He wasn't the only one. Those who had loved Finn best were all there. Carole was clutching Finn's teddy bear that his father had bought, Burt was sitting in silence, Mr Schue was reading and rereading that last bit of Spanish homework Finn had given him, Puck was tossing a football to Mike, Sam and Artie with shaking hands, Santana was screaming her voice sounding harsh as it mingled with Brittany's wails.

Lauren was slumped against the wall her fingers clenched around a beer, Tina was hunched in a corner, Mercedes was staring at the photo of Finn and his father on the bedside table, Quinn was stuck in her mind of memories and regrets leaning against Puck's legs and Rachel was wrapped in Finn's favourite hoodie completely lost and lacking the energy for anything.

And 'Don't Stop Believing' played in the background, it was the song Finn had found and the song he had saved the club with right from the beginning. But Kurt thought, he probably wasn't the only one who had stopped believing.

So slightly crappy ending but it tied it up and I was struggling on how to finish it. Don't really know where this came from but I would love to hear your thoughts. Thanks for reading.

Tacxxx