Title: Expectations
Author: Ashley
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Rating: T
Ship: Reid/Morgan
Summary: I've had dreams, hopes, and fears all my life, but my expectations have never really been concrete.
Warnings: Kinda angsty
Authors note: One shot (Unless people want a second chapter) that popped into my head while I was talking to they'recomingtotakemeaway on yahoo. Hope you enjoy. The idea was based off something she said to me. Feed back is always appreciated, please read and review. This story is dedicated to they'recomingtotaemeaway, for helping me start to break through the demon that is writers block.
My name is Spencer Reid. I learned at a young age not to expect much. Between my dad taking off, and my mothers schizophrenia there wasn't much I could expect. I couldn't expect her to take care of me, when I had to take care of her. I didn't expect to get to where I am today. I never expected to leave my mark on the world.
Yes, I've always had hopes and dreams, but never any real expectations. Everything that has happened in my life has been by pure coincidence. Getting into the FBI was a fluke, I had always wanted to be a super hero, but had never expected to actually be one.
I've had dreams, hopes, and fears all my life, but my expectations have never really been concrete.
From the moment that I saw Derek Morgan he haunted my dreams. I fell in love with him, purely out of chance. I don't even know why, because before Morgan I never even thought about other men like that. The way he walked, talked, and smiled at me captivated me from our very first introduction.
I hoped, God I hoped, so many times, that he would just touch me. Any touch would be enough if it came from him. I hoped for a few moments that I could be alone with him, having a conversation, so it would be acceptable for me to look him in the eyes.
I was afraid of him finding out my feelings and rejecting the friendship I had worked so hard to build up with him. I was absolutely terrified of him turning me down, so I never told him how I felt. This fear was increased exponentially after Chicago. I lived in fear of him finding out that I loved him, and hating me for it.
I never expected to end up in his bed though.
Going home with Morgan that night had been a fluke too. My car broke down, three blocks from his house at three thirty in the morning. With no other options, because Hotch hadn't seen his son in a week and JJ and Rossi were at home with their new born, I called him to come take me home, but I had never expected him to take me to his home.
"It's too damn late for me to drive all the way to your apartment, and I'm just going to have to pick you up in the morning. Grab your go bag out of your trunk, and lets go." Was what he said, I had agreed because it all made perfect sense.
I don't know what made me do it, but I won't ever forget the way it felt hen I pressed my mouth against his when we got inside his house. It was the most amazing feeling in the world, something I never thought I would experience.
I didn't fight it when he dragged me to his bed that night, it was something I'd hoped so long for. And I was thrilled when we didn't get called into work for a case the next day, I got more time with him than I ever had dreamed of.
I got twenty six hours. Twenty six amazing hours. More than I had ever dreamed or hoped for.
But, Derek Morgan is a prime example of why I don't keep expectations.
Nothing has really changed, but then again I never expected it too. That first night with Morgan was two years ago, we are still best friends. Occasionally we'll wind up at his place or mine after a rough case, but that's fine with me. I still watch him go home with different women every time the team goes out, and I've even dated a couple of times.
It doesn't really bother me, but then again I've never expected anything else.