Diary-stupid-small-spirally-metallic-cardboard-and-recycled-tree-thing! Hi! My name is Bakura! I'm cool. And a tomb robber. And I'm cool. And I rob tombs. But not anymore. Now I'm stuck in the 19th/20/21st whatever century with my reincarnation, who's a little wimp. His name is Ryou Bakura. HE STOLE MY LAST NAME! DARN HIM! My first name isn't nearly as impressive... it's Akiffa. AKIFFA, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! WHAT THE HECK WAS WRONG WITH MY MOTHER? -.- No wonder I killed her off...

My stupid reincarnation yelled at me for breaking his new cd. I was only trying to save him from "da RAP!" (He called it that!) This "M&M" figure is trying to brainwash my Ryou! ---Seriously. The song said: "The voices, the voices, I hear them, and when they talk I'll follow, I'll follow, I'll follow, I'll follow them the voices," etc. It was evil I tell you! Ryou seemed kind of mad, though. But if you ask me, CDs shouldn't even have bad words in their titles. What happened to extrovert G-ratedness! WHY? WHY? WHY? Now it doesn't feel as good to cuss... U.U;

Eh, Ryou wants his body back... I'll have to close this up now. But I'll write later. Promise.

:Later:

Stupid slave-thingy! After we split into two separated bodies for a little while, he yelled at me some more about breaking his cd. Except, apparently, it wasn't his cd, it was Yami's, and now the Pharaoh's really mad about it. Who knew that the Pharaoh was corrupting our children? Next thing he'll be promoting violence in the schools! Stupid him... I bet he won't even let me help!

I've decided to name you Jim Bob. Just so you know, you're a light blue pocket spiral. I write small, though, so it's all good. I have to go to Marik's now, and I'm taking you with me. Ryou's driving me... with his neighbor's car. Apparently he's upset that I stole the neighbor's car, but, as long as it's there... we need a form of transportation, right? We'll just ditch it, and then my hikari can walk the two miles home in the pouring rain. ---Problem solved, right? Except that maybe that stuck-up Malik won't let Ryou borrow his rain coat... the meanie. But I've got the Millennium Ring. So we shall see.

That car just blew up! It was a Volkswagen, light blue. Hmm... ---Pretty! The shower of sparks that flew up were so... twinkly. Hm... yeah!

I start to laugh evilly, but Ryou looks at me with a horrified expression. So then I laugh even harder. It's so fun being evil. Evil people have special priveleges, like getting to cut in line and being able to listen to "Mosh" without being offended, no matter what political party we back. Also, we can hide grenade launchers in our pockets. :D Evil people get really big pockets. Like Claire Redfield's pockets. Now there is a woman with large pockets. She could fit a steering wheel in there…

Ryou grits his teeth and keeps driving, carefully avoiding the pieces of the car that just blew up. There's been a number of Car Hunters lately. There's always hunters for everything… Rare Hunters, Shoe Hunters, Yo-Yo Hunters, it stinks! Think of an original name already! Like mine: The Pharaoh's Power Chasers. Hah! H-Ha ha ha! Take that you moronic fools!

Alright, we've been stuck in traffic for an hour now. This is even more boring that reading that book, Farenheit-something-or-other… Oh wait we're moving now!

O.O o.o -.- o.o O.O o.o -.- o.o O.O ((O)).O –BLINK BLINK TWITCH-

There's a COW in the road! What the heck? Why isn't anybody doing anything about it? This isn't India! This isn't even America, which Columbus THOUGHT was India! This isn't even Bangladesh, which used to be known as EAST India! THIS IS JAPAN AND WE CAN SHOO THOSE COWS IF WE WANT!

…In other news, I feel smart for knowing so much about India.

Stupid Ryou isn't doing anything… so I decide to do something myself!

-Third person scene-

"Go on, get!" Bakura slapped the cow hard. The cow lowed in response and flicked him with his tail. "THE COW JUST FLIPPED ME OFF!"

"O.O It was just trying to shoo you away, Bakura," Ryou informed him.

"Shut up Ryou, I know what I'm doing."

"K."

-End Third Person scene-

Stupid Ryou, thinking he knows everything. Cows are dangerous! And evil! The Evil Society Made Up Of Cows And Other Things That Are Produce In Dairy (TESMU OCAOT TAPID) are coming and they're coming fast! And once they catch up to us, there's nothing we can do. Nothing I say! NOOOOOOOOOTHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!

---

Sour Schuyler: Hi! I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, but I hope you enjoy this nonetheless! I'm going to try to make it the funniest... fic... I shall ever write! I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh, Farenheit 451, Resident Evil 2, "Mosh" or Eminem.