=PROJECT: Mortality=

Dear Morty.

It's yourself. Well. You, but older. I'm currently age twenty-five as I'm writing this. I know what you're thinking: "How is this possible?", "This can't be real!", and varying degrees of panic and suspicion. Just to prove this is real, I'll just mention that your first big scientific act is upgrading (and sterilizing) Gwendolyn into A competent 'lab assistant' and you're probably using her to research the organic growth formula that solves world hunger if my calculations are correct. Gwendolyn is still with me now eleven years later working diligently in my lab as usual. I've structured her Artificial Intelligent into a continuous self-evolving platform that helps her learn and make discoveries of her own. Small stuff that I forget about sometimes. Like upgrading my weapons or finding cures for various earth diseases. Rick shit his pants when he found out that a sex-robot, of all things, cured cancer.

I've gotta admit, I don't know what to say. There are so many things I want to tell you to stop the hardships you'll face. Every dumb or selfish move that your grandpa makes, every heartbreak that destroys you from the inside-out, and all the ways to crush the enemies you'll soon make (And trust me, there are a lot of them). But that will only mess up my present time and I won't risk it. Using 'cheat codes' is a Rick move, and you'll learn that there's a time and place for those. You've already had doubts for a while that maybe your Grandpa wasn't always right about everything (Morally speaking, anyway). Just do what you feel is right, because if your future self is telling you to stay the course then it's got to work out, right? Right.

By this paragraph, your fears are settled and you are starting to skim over the words to see if you ever got a date with Jessica. Spoiler alert: You do. Not gonna tell you what happens, though. Paradoxes and time distortions and all. Sorry, Bro. Don't be too down about it, there are other girls out there. You'll learn that the hard way. Mom and Dad are fine here. Mom finally became an actual surgeon and Dad went back into acting. They are happily drinking themselves silly in Florida for the season. Summer is... Well, Summer. She got her own talk show and now she thinks that EVERYBODY wants her opinion on EVERYTHING. The last I heard she was hooked up with some Popstar, but Hollywood has got it's teeth in her and Gwen and I have a bet that she will break up with him a month to booth ratings on her show. She calls every week or two to check in and we chat for an hour or two. It's a good dynamic.

Rick is in a distant star system trying to map out the human soul... Yeah, that's what I said. He's had some existential issues lately but nothing too self-destructive. He has mellowed out in his old(er) age and actually shows up to the yearly family barbecues; if only to reticule Dad and brag about his newest invention. I still suit up and grab a weapon when he really needs my help but he has finally learned to take less risks now. I'm usually busy with a crisis in and around the Milky Way but I always try to make time for him. I know it might be unbelievable that he would chill out and take it easy, but he is making progress.

It really was a bad idea to send this back in time to you but I had to tell you something important. It's something you figure out eventually but I know you need to hear it at least once before you get thrown into the fire to make me the man I am today. Don't worry, most of it is good things.

Here it goes.

You figure it all out.

That's it.

You graduate High School and finally hear Rick say he is proud of you. You walk across the stage and accept your college degree as you look into your family's teary eyes. Then more. You protect the Earth; sending a strict message to the Galactic Federation that no uninvited alien may step foot on Earthling soil without grave consequences. They listen after a few examples are made. Calm down, I'm no dictator. I just know what that sorry excuse for a government is capable of and you gotta take my word for this: You don't want them anywhere near here. You get the girl. Then she breaks your heart as you mourn and eventually move on. Another girl comes into the picture. She breaks your heart too. The cycle continues for a while. But you DO find somebody. I love her more than anyone has ever loved anybody, Morty, and you will too. You fight quite a few battles these next eleven years. Half of the human race gets wiped off the face of the planet, you enter in an intergalactic Fight-Club to win the heart of an Amorian Princess (You don't know who those are yet, but you will love them), etc etc. You gain that muscle mass you've been striving for since you first snuck into the Football player's weight room and struggled to lift the lightest dumbbell. I actually look great with my shirt off, or so I'm told. You aren't going to die young, or end up homeless, or be a used-car salesman. You're going to be that person you always wanted to be, Morty. You'll be proud of yourself. I know because I am. I know this is all so confusing and crazy to hear but you'll be surprised at what you will accomplish. It doesn't come cheap, though. I've shed a lot of sweat and blood to get here, and not all of it was mine. It will be hard some days and giving up will seem like an inevitability, but you will do more than just survive; you will persevere.

That is all I've got. Stick with Rick. He needs you even if he won't admit it. You can look forward to the future, Morty, It's bright.

Best Wishes,

Mortimer Smith Sr.