Say something, I'm giving up on you.
As she looked down at the deformed frame, images of the past escaped from a dark part of her mind. Every close call, every beating, every skipped heart beat that would've been better spent in another time was rapidly coming into the present. Rei didn't allow the rush of emotion to consume her, but instead stayed perfectly still with her hand over the fallen soldier's beating heart.
And I am feeling so small. It was over my head. I know nothing at all.
It was only a matter of time before one of these fights ended with a dead body. The reality of it ripped a hole in her stomach as quickly as the pool of blood expanded. All of the times that Jadeite had come back to her just to be turned against her again, it shouldn't have come as a surprise that she'd be the one to finish it. Without warning, regret washed over her while she thought about every time he had come back, and how she'd fought him – that time would've been so much better spent with him.
And I will stumble and fall. I'm still learning to love, just starting to crawl.
The other senshi had left the scene in a mix of graciousness and self-preservation. Rei knew what they were thinking. They had left the decision up to her because they couldn't take him away from her. She would never forgive the person who took him, and that left the team with one painfully obvious choice.
Jadeite's eyelids flickered slightly. Rei knew that this was nothing more than muscle spasms, but she leaned close to him and whispered anyway, hoping that somehow he could hear her. Pushing back his bloodstained curls made her flinch with the shock of another sharp memory from a better time.
I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you. Anywhere, I would've followed you.
His heart was still beating, but slowly. There was so much blood loss that he was barely with her, and she knew it. He could be saved, but that's not what this was about. If the roles were reversed, she'd be dead by now, she was sure of it. What evidence did she have otherwise?
Say something, I'm giving up on you.
Rei had been waiting this whole time for a sign of retribution. She needed something, anything to show that he was worth saving, he was still pure, and deep down in his heart he still loved her. Whether it was a word choked on blood or his broken hand barely moving to hers, she would've run to Usagi and begged for his life to be saved. Nothing came.
Realization came with tears. First she was crying, then shaking, then screaming at the silent body. In her panic, her hands flew to the injuries on his chest and face, covering them and begging him to come back, to prove everyone wrong. His body rolled slightly and his eyes opened for a brief moment, just enough to register who was hovering over him. As quickly as it happened, Rei knew that there was no recognition in his eyes. She quieted.
And I will swallow my pride. You're the one that I love, and I'm saying goodbye.
Rei settled herself next to the soldier's body and placed her hand over his heart. Her palm started heating as she emptied herself into this instant. Every twist of their story was being poured out of her heart and into her palm. She steadied herself and breathed deeply, and in a final, beautiful moment, smelled a scent she'd lost a long time ago. Something that smelled like rosemary and the sea brushed her cheek and enveloped her with strong arms and eloquent warmth.
It was gone as quickly as it came, moving into the silence behind her with the wind. When the world quieted, she let go.
Energy from her hand moved into Jadeite's body in a soft motion, the glow spreading across his chest and falling into him. It brightened and tangled, enveloping his heart and burning out the evil inside of him. It was impossible to breathe. Rei felt as though one of the tentacles of fire had escaped his body and was wrapping around her throat, punishing her for doing this to the one she loved.
The fire reached a climax, and subsided. The smell of the ocean crossed her mind again as she thought of waves curling away from the shoreline and his blonde hair in the wind, his eyes as endlessly blue as the mid-day skyline. When the darkness left his heart, it left him without power, a helpless human being who had been beaten to death. The man below her was hardly a shadow of the man in her memories.
With the last flicker of light, he stopped breathing. The noise of the world was nothing compared to the quiet of his form. Rei's eyes stared past him, into a future without possibility. She tried to rise and found that her legs couldn't carry her, and every feeling in her chest was rooted to this spot.
Say something…
In minutes, she was carried away by the other senshi. Although Rei could barely comprehend what was happening, she realized that no one spoke, nor could they look her in the eye. Maybe she'd done the wrong thing. Or maybe she'd just brought on the reality that she would be the first to be forced into committing this, the worst act imaginable.
Supporting her weight, they carried her away from the scene; and with thorough indifference, she left her heart behind.