Make me want you. – Chapter One
Ok so some of you asked for a K&C 'together story' - here it is.
Caroline opened the two folders on her desk. Flicking through them proved to be harder than she'd expected. They reminded her that in the search for a temporary languages teacher, the hidden sting was that Kate would no longer be at school every day; Caroline's only chance to ever see her and even that was rare. A principal could only find so many reasons to accidentally bump into a staff member.
She'd given the mountain of applications to the head of Languages to sort through, and asked her to narrow them down to two final candidates, which she'd done. Now Caroline had to choose. She'd decided to ask Kate to come up and have a look at them in the hope of firstly choosing the better one, but also the chance to perhaps have a little chat, something that Kate seemed to avoid as much as possible.
Kate had been very grateful for Caroline's appearance at the ultra sound when things looked grim. She was somehow buoyed by the fact that she didn't have to face it alone, but also that it was Caroline who'd supported her. Despite that, it didn't soften her resolve not to allow Caroline back into her life. It did however give Caroline a sense that she had a right to ask how things were going, which she attempted to do on a weekly basis. There'd been only polite 'I'm fine thank you' or "OK; thanks for asking' responses.
"Beverley, could you please tell me if and when Kate's free today?"
"Erm, actually she is free next period. Do you want to see her?"
'What kind of question is that? I want to see her more than anything'. "Yes please, if she wouldn't mind; I'd like to get her opinion on the two final candidates for her maternity leave."
Beverley smiled to herself; 'Caroline you are so transparent sometimes'. "Ok I'll call her when the bell rings."
Ten minutes later there was a discrete knock at the door and a very heavily pregnant Kate waddled into Caroline's office. "You wanted to see me?"
Caroline looked up and over her glasses; pregnancy had made Kate even more beautiful if indeed that were possible. "Yes, thanks Kate, I'd like your opinion on the two final candidates for your job." She handed the folders to Kate and walked round the desk to help her sit in one of the arm chairs; a kind gesture which was brushed aside politely. Caroline sighed inwardly and then seated herself next to Kate on the other armchair. She was close enough to smell her perfume, watch her chest move in and out as she breathed, reach out and touch. How she wished she could touch her.
Kate was aware of Caroline's sideways gaze and she found it disconcerting but hopefully she wouldn't have to sit there for too long. After flicking through them, Kate handed one of the folders to Caroline. "This one I think, he's got the same set of languages as me and he's had four years of A Level experience, the other only two. Apart from that, either of them would fit."
She started to lift herself out of the chair, Caroline touched her arm. "Thank you Kate; wait a moment please." Kate lowered herself back down.
"It's this Friday you leave isn't it?"
"Yes, two more days to go."
"Are you all set? Is your mum still coming over?"
"Yes she is. I'm due in two weeks so mum's coming next weekend, that gives me a week, it should be plenty of time for her to settle in and for me to get all the last minute things sorted out. I meant to say thank you for the lovely gift you gave me at the baby shower the other day. You shouldn't have gone to that expense."
Caroline wanted to say 'I'd spare no expense for our baby'; saying it was of course out of the question. "Oh it's nothing; both my boys had a bunny rug like that. They last forever and are thankfully easy to wash and look after. "Are you having the baby at St Margaret's?"
"Yes, I've got a private room booked and my midwife Aileen is on call from today actually."
"I do hope all goes well for you Kate. May I pop in and see you after the baby's born?"
"If you like, a few of the others will come; you might like to tag along." Caroline got the message loud and clear, 'don't come alone'.
"I'd better go now Caroline; I'm on playground duty next."
"Like hell you are! Who on earth has got you still doing duties on your feet." She quickly moved round her desk to the phone and ranted at Beverley to "tell that idiot Tom to get Kate off all duties for the rest of the week". Kate smiled, a really genuine smile, "Thank you, it is becoming rather tiring." With that she left the room.
Caroline slumped into her chair and resting her elbows on the table buried her face in her hands; 'it shouldn't be like this, we should be doing it together'. She shook her head and picked up the phone to ring the successful candidate. That afternoon she had a Board meeting to face and they would want to know who the replacement was.
"Ok Gavin, yes I see your point and yours Wendy, but we must maintain the right staffing levels, cutting those kinds of corners..." her speech to the Board was cut short as Beverley burst in through the door. "I'm sorry Caroline but I really need you to step outside for a moment.' She was breathless. All six members turned and stared at her, quite put out that she had just burst in, after all who did she think she was. Beverley saw the looks and quite frankly wasn't the slightest bit deterred.
Caroline realised that something must be wrong so she excused herself and went into the outside office.
"What's up?"
"Caroline, Kate's waters have just broken and she's in labour."
"O God! Her mother isn't due until next weekend." She scratched her head and started pacing.
"Caroline I don't know how you feel, but she asked me to get you."
Caroline felt her face flush and her heartbeat double. "Right, please go in there, explain what's happened, get rid of them and then bring me my bag, phone and car keys. I'll see you in sick bay" with that she hurried down the corridor towards the staff area.
As she walked into sick bay, Mary, one of Kate's friends, was sitting beside her. "Hi Caroline, she's Ok, contractions are not too strong or close yet. I've got this."
Caroline looked over at Kate, "What would you like me to do Kate?"
Kate's big brown eyes looked pleading and scared." Thanks Mary, you've been great, but Caroline will stay with me now." If anyone but her mother was to be present while she was at her most naked and vulnerable; it could only be Caroline. Mary nodded knowingly at Kate and smiled at Caroline on the way out, calling back "Ring me sweetie if you need anything."
"Beverley's bringing my bag and car keys she'll be here in a minute Kate, you'll be OK. Have you phoned Aileen yet?"
"Yes, she's meeting me at the hospital." Caroline moved closer to the bed she wanted to kiss Kate so badly, kiss her and hold her and make her feel safe. "Will you stay with me Caroline? I don't think I can do this on my own; my mum won't make it on time."
Throwing caution to the wind, she took hold of Kate's hand and squeezed it. "Of course I will, now let's get you in the car." Beverley helped Caroline to load Kate into the back seat and she waved them off before ringing ahead to St Margaret's to tell them they were on the way.
Aileen finished her examination and covered Kate up. "All is well, the baby's heartbeat is good and strong and your blood pressure is excellent Kate. I'd say we have quite a number of hours to go yet though." She walked round the bed and held out to her hand to Caroline; "sorry I haven't had a chance for a proper introduction; I'm Aileen."
Caroline looked a little flustered as she tried to work out how to describe herself. Kate sensed her unease and stepped in; "This is Caroline, my friend, and she'll be my birthing partner because my mother won't get here in time now."
"Oh that's lovely, thanks Caroline. Have you had any children yourself," observing that she wasn't wearing a wedding ring.
"Erm yes I have two teenage sons. Child birth is a distant memory but one never forgets it."
"That's great, you'll be able to reassure Kate while I'm fiddling about at the other end." Laughing towards Kate, who was at that moment hit by another and yet stronger contraction; humour wasn't uppermost in her mind at that moment.
Aileen left the room to go and begin her paperwork and alert Kate's obstetrician that she was about half way along.
Caroline sat down beside the bed. "Is there anything you need Kate?"
"Well if it's not too much trouble I was hoping you might be able to go and get my bag for me. It's all ready, I'm just kicking myself for not having it in the car, I didn't think this would happen."
"Where is it?"
"It's in my bedroom at home, it's packed and everything is in there, and my dressing gown is hanging on the back of the door." Caroline knew exactly where Kate's dressing gown would be; she knew how it would feel and what it would smell like.
"Maybe I'd better go now so that I'm well and truly back before you get closer. It will only take me half an hour and I'll drop in home and get changed."
"Ok, I'll be alright for a while. I really do appreciate this Caroline, thank you. The keys to the house are in my bag."
Before she could stop herself Caroline waved off the suggestion and said, "Oh I've got my set with me." She gulped and tried to suck back the words, the instant they left her lips.
Kate's eyes widened. "Your set?"
"Yes, sorry, I never erm, well you never asked for them and I've just always had them in my bag." Kate had left a padded envelope in Beverley's office during the week after their break up. It had taken Caroline days to open it because she knew beyond a doubt that the keys to her house would be in there. Kate also made sure to go around to Caroline's to get her stuff when she knew others would be home.
She squeezed Kate's hand again and left the room.
Walking down the path to Kate's cottage brought on a tide of memories and emotions. The last time had been when she came to thank her for looking after Lawrence and to ask for one more chance to make things work. She left empty handed and desolate.
She put the keys in the lock and walked inside. It felt so familiar, yet not, the excitement and warmth they'd always shared during their time spent alone here was conspicuously missing. Walking up the stairs Caroline could hear the echoes of the laughter as they chased each other up to the bedroom. Opening the door, she scanned the room, locating the bag straight away. She then folded Kate's dressing gown and went to put it on the top of the bag, sitting neatly folded already there was the bunny rug she had bought for Flora. She felt her eyes fill up and a gentle sadness pervade her thoughts.
Just before leaving the room she walked over to the bed and picked up Kate's pillow. She held it close to her face, smelling, feeling, dreaming; remembering how they would share it as they came down from the heights of their lovemaking.
Looking at the bedside clock brought her down to earth with a bang, she had already been gone forty minutes and had to call in to her own place yet. She replaced the pillow and grabbing the bag, quickly locked the door behind her and drove off. As she pulled into her drive, Alan and Celia were just getting out of their car. "Mum, mum,"
"What are you doing home at this time love?"
"Kate's gone into labour and I've been to get her stuff from her house. I'm just going to change and hurry back to the hospital. Will you sort Lawrence out when he gets home please? Ring John if all else fails. I've no idea how long I'll be." After spewing all this out very quickly, she had reached her front door.
"Kate's in labour? Caroline, why are you getting involved again? Where's her mother?"
"Mum she's two weeks early and Ginika can't make it in time. So she asked me to be with her."
"I bet she bloody did. Here we go again."
"Mum, stop it. I want to be there, I'm going now."
She ran into the house and after five minutes came out again in much more comfy jeans and sweater. She drove steadily, not rushing as she needed time to calm down and erase all the fantasies that were starting to creep in to her mind. 'Would something shift in Kate when the baby came and Caroline was there'? Would she be allowed to hold the baby? It was exciting but she was so nervous.
She walked back in to Kate's room to see her writhing and moaning; it upset her even though she knew Kate had to go through it. "Ah Caroline, you're back; Kate progressing well aren't you dear?" Kate nodded, she had no breath for conversation, just puffing and blowing. Caroline put her bag in the cupboard and then sat down beside her. She barely had her bottom on the seat before Kate grabbed her hand; she held it tightly and then made eye contact with Caroline, hoping she would see how grateful she was to have her sitting there, feel her hand in hers, supporting and caring for her.
As Kate struggled into the last phase of her labour, Caroline became more confident that she was meant to be there; that somehow this baby needed to know she was there; she began to stroke Kate's arm, then wipe her forehead gently with a cool cloth, all the time feeling that she was getting closer to her darling Kate. Leaving aside the concern she felt, it was heaven.
One or two last pushes, accompanied by pain-filled cries, and Aileen was lifting a perfect little girl on to Kate's chest; mother and baby clinging to each other, both crying; Kate kissing her baby over and over; the joy on her face beyond description. Aileen gently took the baby to the treatment table to clean her up and Kate turned to Caroline "I'm a mum Caroline. I've done it."
"Yes, yes you are. It's wonderful Kate. I'm sorry I tried to persuade you not to try."
"It's past Caroline. It doesn't matter anymore, she's here and that's all that matters."
Caroline leaned over and kissed Kate softly on the cheek. Kate smiled. Aileen brought a now sleeping and wrapped baby over, "Caroline would you like to hold her?" Caroline's eyes darted to Kate who nodded. She took the tiny girl, wrapped in her bunny rug and gazed at her, tears running down her cheeks. "Hello little one, you're so beautiful, welcome to our life;" kissing her forehead. Kate watched on and felt her cloak of resolve start to crumble.