1
Selphie woke up sprawled across the foot of a king-sized bed, a sheet twisted around her body like a hungry boa constrictor bent on swallowing her whole. She moaned and rolled over, her head pounding, only to discover she wasn't alone.
"Rin, scoot over," she complained. "You're taking up the whole bed."
The groan that came from her bedmate indicated that either Rinoa's voice deepened an octave and a half overnight, she'd contracted a really nasty cold, or whoever Selphie shared her bed with was most likely a male of unspecified origin.
Alarmed, Selphie propped herself up and eyed the tiara tangled up in straw-blonde strands of hair that were definitely too short to belong to Quistis.
She leaped out of bed, her stranger-danger alarm in full effect. She forgot about the sheet and crashed to the floor face-first with her arms still tangled in fabric. Unsure of what hurt worse – her face or her head – she pushed to her knees and flailed herself free of the bedding.
Slowly she stood and detected something was off. Something was definitely not right.
Where the heck was her skirt? And why was she wearing pants?
Selphie was positive she wasn't wearing pants yesterday. She was pretty sure she didn't pack a single pair for this trip. She wasn't sure if she even owned a pair of pants, especially not coeurl print skinny pants.
Though, they were pretty awesome, even if they were too big in the waist and fit like boy pants.
At least she was fully dressed, but that only raised more questions.
Who was in her bed?
And where the hell was her engagement ring?! Instead of the pretty princess cut canary diamond, on her finger was a silver band with a skull on it.
"What the heck?" she asked out loud.
The boy in the bed groaned and lifted his head.
He was cute, in a pretty sort of way and reminded Selphie of a chocobo, though chocobos didn't have freckles, but if they did, they'd look like this guy.
Before Selphie could start asking questions, her phone rang.
"What?!" she barked into the phone.
"Selphie? Where are you?"
"I'm..." Oh, crap. Irvine. He could not know about this, whatever this was. "Why are you yelling at me?"
"I'm not yelling," he said. "Where are you? Zell went to meet you guys at the ferry, two hours ago. We're supposed to be getting married tomorrow, remember?"
Oh crap. Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap!
"Sorry, bad connection!" she shouted. "I can't hear you! Let me call you back, okay? Okay, byeeeee!"
With a shriek, she tossed her phone into an armchair and noticed a bouquet of flowers wrapped in yellow ribbon and an envelope with the address of a place called "Jackrabbit Nuptials," a seaside establishment that offered 24-hour no-wait weddings.
She looked at the boy on the bed and watched him untangle the tiara from his hair. Was this even her room? What happened last night?
"Guess you got in my pants after all," Chocobo-boy said with a grin, but his face fell at Selphie's look of abject horror. "They look pretty good on you, though."
A weird, ugly feeling swelled up from the pit of Selphie's stomach.
Matching rings. A bouquet. Jackrabbit Nuptials
He sat up and Selphie almost choked as he tugged at the strap of her favorite chocobo print sundress and frowned down at himself.
"This... is not such a great look for me."
What happened last night?
It was all such a blur. Dinner with her bridesmaids, drinks, dancing, a boy that reminded her of a chocobo and a conversation that began with the words, "I like your pants."
The very same pants she now wore.
"Oh god," Selphie moaned. "What have I done?!"
36 hours ago...
Quistis leaned against the door of her luxury-class Tempest and waited as Selphie and Irvine said goodbye in typical Selphie and Irvine fashion. She turned her eyes away, toward the other couple, whose goodbye was less showy or handsy but just as uncomfortable to watch.
"Just say goodbye already," Zell muttered. "It's not like you're going to be gone for weeks or something."
Quistis patted Zell's arm, glad she wasn't the only one annoyed by the PDA.
"Sure you don't want to come with us?" Quistis asked.
"Thanks for asking," Zell said, "but I'm not really into toenail painting or mud pies or whatever it is you girls do at those fancy spa places."
"I think you'd find a pedicure very relaxing," Quistis said. "Proper foot care is important."
Zell snorted. "Sounds like something Squall would say."
"SeeD manual, article 19, section G," Quistis said. "Take care of your feet, in a nutshell."
"You know the entire thing by rote, don't you?"
"Don't you?"
"I memorized stuff for the exam, but I forgot the boring parts as soon as it was over," Zell said. He stepped away from the car and cleared his throat. "Yo! Ferry's about to board. Cease and desist with the face-sucking!"
Sheepish, Squall stepped away from Rinoa, his cheeks rosy, and angled his head toward Irvine's massive land-yacht of a car. Quistis doubted its road-worthiness based on appearance alone. It sported multiple dents and scratches, the back bumper hung a little lower on the left side from the time Selphie borrowed it and backed into a bus in Deling City. Chipped and peeling paint surrounded all four wheel wells, covered a portion of the hood and most of the trunk. The back windows didn't roll down, and a long crack stretched across the windshield. When he started it, the entire thing shuddered like it caught cold.
"You have a roadside emergency kit in that thing, right?" Quistis asked. "And a spare?"
Irvine rolled his eyes but tipped his hat and offered Quistis his most charming smile.
"We're not driving cross country," Irvine said. "Pretty sure she'll make it to the the other side of the island and back. Hell, even if she breaks down, it's not like we'll have far to walk. Besides, she's in just as good a shape as your fancy luxury car, she's just not as pretty."
"If you say so," Quistis said. "Keep your phones charged and make sure at least one of you puts that roadside assistance number on speed dial. Just in case."
"Yes, mom," Zell said. He kissed her cheek. "Don't worry, I got this. If anything goes wrong, I can fix it."
Quistis' confidence in the boy's ability to survive this excursion improved somewhat at the reminder her friend could fix pretty much anything. Even if the car did break down, both Squall and Zell trained half their lives to fight and survive in the worst of conditions. Irvine? Not so much, but she trusted they would look after him if something happened.
Never mind. The he campground was only about ten miles from Garden. Irvine was right. Worst case scenario, they could walk back.
"Let's blow this ice cream stand!" Selphie cried and barreled toward the Tempest, a sparkly tiara on her head. How she managed to run in flip-flops mystified Quistis. "Car karaoke time! I've got first dibs on music. And I call shotgun!"
"I already called shotgun," Rinoa said. "An hour ago."
"You did not. And anyway, I'm the one getting married, so suck it!"
"We're getting on the ferry, Selphie," Quistis reminded her. "No point in car karaoke for 3 minutes of drive time."
"There so is!"
Quistis pressed her palm to her forehead. They hadn't even left Balamb yet, and already she regretted her decision to go along with this. She preferred a quieter affair, to keep the festivities small, but she'd be a fool to expect Selphie Tilmitt to do anything on a small scale. Especially not her wedding.
While the boys roughed it in the wilderness, the girls were bound for a swanky new hotel on the coast near Timber that offered massages, spas, 3 luxury pools, beach access, in-hotel bars, shopping, gourmet dining and a poolside nightclub. Once they'd been thoroughly pampered, the trio would return to Balamb for the final wedding preparations.
"No strip clubs, Irvy!" Selphie shouted as she opened the passenger door. "You hear me?"
"I'm pretty sure we're not going to find a strip club hidden in the middle of the woods, Selphie," Squall said.
"How do I know camping isn't a euphemism for something you don't want to tell me about?"
"Considering we'd have to leave the island for that kind of debauchery," Zell said, "It's a pretty safe bet that camping actually means camping."
"Better be," Selphie grumbled.
Quistis started the engine and tugged her wayward friend into the passenger seat as the ferry's horn blared to signal it was time for vehicles to board.
"Close the door, Selphie," Quistis said. "We're holding up the line."
"What, all two cars behind us?" Selphie scoffed, but she obeyed and rolled down the window to wave and blow kisses until Irvine was out of sight. "I better not find out they've gone to a strip club."
"What's the big deal?" Rinoa asked. "It's not like any of the girls that work there would go home with him."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Selphie demanded.
Rinoa sat back and crossed her arms. "Whatever you want it to mean, Selphie."
Like Quistis, Rinoa was a little over the whole wedding thing. Both were happy the two decided to commit, but the work and preparations for it ate up a lot of their respective free time, something Selphie didn't seem to understand was a finite resource. And both were ready for the moment the two said their vows so they wouldn't have to hear about it any more.
Quistis steered the car into the cargo bay and parked in her assigned spot. Beside her, Selphie bounced in her seat and fiddled with the knobs on the dash.
"Please don't touch," Quistis said. "They're pre-set, the way I like them."
"Fine," Selphie said. "Why's everybody being such cranky-pants today?" She turned to Rinoa in the back. "Do you need more coffee? Because the cafe on board has this really great double espresso thing with whipped cream and chocolate drizzle on top. We should get some of those. My treat!"
In the rear view, Quistis saw Rinoa's forced smile, caught her eye, and smiled back. Though they weren't close, Quistis had a feeling they would end up relying on one another for sanity over the next few days. Rinoa's answering nod seemed to agree.
"Sure, Selphie. That's sounds great."