I do not own anything.

It had been weeks since the last time I saw him. The last time I even heard of him. In the meantime school already had started, but I wasn't quite in it right now. My thoughts were always with him, trying to figure out how he's doing. He wasn't dead. He couldn't be. The others would have told me, or I was just telling me so that I wouldn't go crazy. I also knew that the others knew where he was and how he was, but they wouldn't tell me, because they would think I would run off to meet him, even if it would mean my end. But that was probably true. I probably would run off to kill myself, just to see his features once more, because they were just not the same in my memories. The memories of him, lying in the bed next to me, sleeping, our clothes strewn up in the whole room…

I shook my head to get those memories out of my head, but they just wouldn't. They were spinning around in my head as if they were flies. You couldn't catch or kill them, they were too fast. But what if the others just didn't tell me what with him was, because he wasn't anymore?

No, no, no! I shook my head again, and this time it worked. But just for that one thought.

"Ms. Black?"

My head snapped up and I realized I was the only one in the classroom left; all the others had left with the bell. I packed my things slowly and stood up. My head fell down again, because my mood wasn't really good today. Well, since he left, my mood was never good. I went past the teacher, but he called me back, the third one this week.

"Ms. Black. If you're not feeling well, should I call your father?"

What could he do against this pain?

"I realized your absence very often this week, Ms. Black. If you're keeping this up, you might not get this year, hm? And it's one of the first weeks. Your brain should be free and fresh from the holidays." He tried to me optimistic.

My brain wasn't fresh, and at least free! It was so full that I nearly thought it would explode any minute!

I just gave him a short smile, what I wasn't sure of really was a good smile, and vanished out of the door. I knew it wasn't the best manner to just disappear and let some questions unanswered, but what could I do? Tell him that my werewolf soul mate was off fighting with or against vampires? That wouldn't come good.

Outside school the usual groups gathered together, talking and chatting, because it had been the last hour.

"Hey Dawn." Tina called from behind me.

I turned round and saw all the girls standing next to her, also in a group. They tried to tell me something out of their group. When they saw my face, they mimicked it, except Tina. She was smiling, like always.

"We're going shopping in Port Angeles tomorrow. My big brother's driving us with the bus, you wanna come?"

If she knew how that "big brother" stung. I tried not to make it appear on my already bad face.

"No, thanks. I've got school work to do and stuff. Sorry."

"School work? We didn't get any work to do. C'mon Dawn. I'm not stupid." You think. I added in my mind.

"I'm just not in the mood. Sorry, but maybe some other time." I turned round to leave.

"You're going off to meet Heath, am I right?"

"What?" I turned to face them again. Heath? Was she going completely crazy right now?

"Don't play dumb. We know everything about you and him." She launched more forward to me. "How does he kiss? Did you have your first time with him yet?"

"Stop! What did you say? What did this jerk tell you!" I asked through gritted teeth. For a flinch he had been shoved away from the front side of my head. He was now one of the flies who flew further backwards.

"Just what you did in the holidays…" Tina smiled. I wondered if she was just playing, but then I remembered Heath and how crazy he was about sending around rumors about me and him in the school.

"Look. I don't know what he told you, but you better not believe this stuff. Do you really think I had something with…with this guy?" I whispered the last words.

"Umm…yes…? Everyone would be dying to have a date with him." What? Did Heath get popular over night or what?

"Well, then. Go ahead. He's free. He always was and will always be." I turned round and left.

"There's someone else…" Tina nearly sang. I didn't turn around this time. If Heath had said something about me and him, then everything was told already. I didn't want this topic to come up. It was already scratching on my wounds, on my big wounds.

He was quickly again all over in my head. Now Heath was a fly in the back, what he'll probably be forever. Well, more like the rest of my life. Maybe that wasn't so long anymore. If something would happen to him, could I really kill myself? Probably yes.

Today I drove home with Jacob's car. He also hadn't been home for weeks. Jacob shared the front page of my brain together with him. I tried hard not to make myself think about them, but since it was impossible, I stopped trying.

I arrived home and saw Dad watching from the front window to look when I was coming. He was spying on me. Again.

I shut the door heavily and went directly into the direction of my room.

"How was school, Dawn?"

I ignored him.

"What did you learn?"

I shut the door of my room. Why could he be so happy when his own son is probably risking his life to save the vampires? Maybe he wasn't risking his life anymore; nobody talks to me, so why wouldn't he be dead right now?

On the next day the sun woke me up. Sun? In the middle of fall? In La Push? I sneezed and Dad rolled in my room.

"Hey sleepy head, we're going…out tomorrow. You're coming?" Dad didn't say the Clearwater's name loud, because he thought I might not be able to take it.

I nodded and he was confused that I accepted.

Sue had already told Dad that I was imprinted on him. It still sucked that all of them cared a lot about me. It seemed as if I had an un-heal-able sickness, and now everyone feels sorry for me. Why didn't they also care about Rachel or Emily? They were also worried. Maybe it was because their soul mates were allowed in La Push. Why didn't Dad actually do something about it? He was one of the elders. He could have talked some sense into Sam, couldn't he? I still remembered what on that very day happened. Emily had told me the answer with her thoughts.

I think I won't tell her that Jacob and Seth ran off to the vampires.

My eyes darkened. "What? They ran off to the vampires?"

After I had gotten myself again I found my body sitting on the couch of the Clearwater's. Emily was still there, sitting opposite of me.

"Dawn! She's gotten up again!" Emily called. I saw Claire sleeping on her arms.

My eyes still weren't open at the largest, but I could see enough to see Dad, Charlie and Sue watching me intensely. When Emily spotted I had gotten up again, she stared too.

Nobody told me what was going on in their minds, and it was strange that I couldn't hear it. I couldn't hear their thoughts anymore!

"What are you thinking?" I asked into the round. Nobody answered. I was so focused on knowing what was going on in their minds.

"The important question is what you were thinking when you got unconscious!" Emily said. She reminded me of Seth again.

"He's really away?" I said very slowly.

A long silence got up.

"Together with Jacob, but nobody told you, how did you know?"

I didn't answer. I didn't want to answer. It felt as if I had fallen into darkness and I couldn't find the light anymore. My light. My Seth.

I tried to force the memory out of my head, but it didn't work. This day may be in my head for the rest of my life. Except he would come back, what I wasn't sure of.

I stood up and got changed for school. The last thing I was worried about was that I had to go on foot to school today. Since the very day I couldn't read minds again. Emily's mind voice was the last one I heard in my head, but his voice will always sing in my ears. Jacob's voice would also not get out of my head, because it had been so loud. But there hadn't been any sign of minds since the last weeks, no signs of anything.

Dad had been making breakfast, but since he couldn't get to my cereals in the highest cupboard I made my breakfast on my own. I slung it down quickly so that I could go out into the sun and go to school. Why was today shining the sun? Today? Another miserable day in my life and the sun had to shine!

Also new was that suddenly one day Charlie had told us that he had seen Jacob at the Cullen's and before he had shown himself to Charlie. Charlie knew about werewolves. He also asked if I could change into such a thing, but Dad just answered that if I would, he wouldn't mind. He would be proud. But since I was a normal girl – well, normal if you didn't count that imprinting thing – Charlie and Dad won't have to worry about it.

I asked Dad which car I could take and he said again Jacob's car. Was Jacob actually going to get it someday or should I really drive it? I didn't care actually.

I arrived at school too early so I planned on sitting on a bench outside and read a book. It was a book I had read four times now, although it was the book we had to read in English.

Suddenly I could hear a voice.

"Should I sit down next to her?"

I looked up from my book and watched the parking lot. Nobody was in hearing reach. Who could have said that so clearly?

Then I spotted Heath watching me from the other side of the lot. He met my gaze and went into my direction. Oh no, not him! I put my head into my book again, trying not to look over the book to watch him getting nearer to me. What did he want?

"Would it really be okay if I would sit down next to her?" The same voice asked and I looked up from my book again. Suddenly Heath talked from next to me.

"Hey, Dawn. Shouldn't we read this until today?" He pointed at my book. It had been his voice! Was he speaking to himself? But why could I have heard that from the other side of the lot?

"I already read it four times."

"You're really into such stuffs as books?" It sounded more like a fact, not like a question.

I nodded. I shouldn't let him notice that something was bothering me, then he would stay with me longer.

"What's on your mind? Something happened, didn't it?" Heath asked really friendly. It wasn't the same Heath I knew from the last year or from the holidays, it was a complete different Heath. He never spoke in such a tone. At least not with me.

I looked at him suspicious.

"Have I got something on me?" He raised one eyebrow.

I waited long, but then answered quickly. "No, no. It's just…you changed, I think." I laid my head to one side.

Heath seemed uneasy in this particular talk, so I played over his new self.

"Nothing happened, really. I'm okay." I tried to smile pleasant, but out came just something strange like always these weeks.

"Dawn, you're a bad liar." He raised again one eyebrow.

"I'm just afraid that someone will tell the whole school." I still played polite.

"I see. You're afraid that I would tell somebody else." Heath nodded slowly, but I shook quickly my head.

"No, no! I didn't mean it that way. It's just…my problem." I looked back into the book.

Suddenly Heath clapped the book close. I looked now with one eyebrow raised at him.

"Dawn. If something's wrong you have to talk. You don't have to talk with me, but please talk with somebody if it should get better. Please promise me you will talk." Heath looked expecting into my eyes. I never realized how beautiful his eyes were. I never saw him so near without going away again.

For some strange reason I promised him. "I promise." I nodded and he stood up and went into the school. He just looked one time back and waved goodbye. I just stared at him until he vanished behind the school doors. What was that? Why was he suddenly so nice? Had he really changed?

Finally the first part of the second story, please review!