Spider Boxing Dance
''Hello, Dearie!
Please come to my manor tomorrow night at 8 p.m. exactly! I'd love to see you! I'll have tea and cookies for you too! But, if you're late, my pet will have to play with you, so don't you dare make me wait!
Muffet the Spider
xoxo''
-Well, she could have just called me... Frisk monologued as he closed the letter. Maybe this is just a prank.
He decided to give her a call to confirm whether the letter he had received was really from her or not. However, no one answered, so he decided to visit either way. What could go wrong? Besides, there were cookies at stake! He couldn't let the chance slip!
Frisk arrived at Muffet's manor five minutes early. All the lights were off and the gate was locked. Maybe the letter was a prank after all. He rang the bell. Nothing. He waited a bit, then rang it again.Muffet's voice was suddenly heard.
-You're late! she sounded annoyed.
-What? It's exactly 8 o'clock! And I was waiting for you to reply for 5 minutes!
-I replied late because I was mad at you!
-I was here 5 minutes earlier, what are you saying?
-As the gentleman, you have to be here at least half an hour earlier!
-...
-Anyway, I'll forgive you this time!
The gate opened and Frisk walked into the garden, confused and weirded out. Muffet had always been the strangest of the monsters, but she usually made at least some basic sense.
-At least it wasn't a prank, I guess. Frisk mumbled.
As soon as he reached the front door, it opened in front of him. He walked into the front hall. There was darkness everywhere. He heard something drop in front of him.
-Use this! he heard Muffet's voice from what sounded like a speaker.
-Come on Muffet, you know I get lost in this place easily... Why do you have to make it hard?
No reply.
Frisk sighed and picked up what turned out to be a torch. He switched it on. A faint light came out and lit the room a little, just enough for him to see. There were many doors in the hall, but one of them had a sign over it, saying ''USE THIS DOOR''. Frisk walked towards that one.
-NO, NO, NO Frisk! This isn't the right door!
-But the sign...
-It's obviously a trap! Can't you tell?
-Why would you trap me?
-You were late!
-I was not!
-Just use the door to its right already! Gosh, do I have to give you the solution to everything?
-How would I even know which door to use, the place is full of doors!
-The right one is always the right way!
-What on earth, Muffet...
Muffet didn't reply. Frisk was starting to get annoyed, but his curiosity was greater. Why was Muffet acting so weird? What was her goal? And, most importantly: Where were the cookies?
He walked into the next room. He saw two doors. The left one had the same sign over it.
-Great, more of these... he mumbled and walked into the right door.
-WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
-I went to the door without a sign! The sign is a trap, right?
-What kind of idiot would use the same trick twice? You stupid or something?
-So, the right door is actually wrong this time?
-Yes!
-That doesn't make any sense considering that ''the right one is always the right way''.
-I lied!
-Why?
-Why are YOU trusting your enemy?
-You aren't my enemy!
-JUST GO INTO THE LEFT DOOR ALREADY!
-Wait, Muffet? Muffet!
It was futile. Muffet had stopped replying.
-What is it with her...
Frisk walked into what looked like a long corridor. He started walking, when his flashlight suddenly went out.
-Just great... Muffet? Could I please have some batteries? Muffet?
Instead of a reply, he heard a loud noise from behind. He saw two eyes glowing. They were getting closer and closer. As the weird creature approached him, he realised in terror what it was.
-MUFFET WHAT'S YOUR PET DOING HERE?
Frisk started running without being able to see in front of him. He had always been terrified of this hideous cupcake Muffet called her ''pet''. And now it was chasing him! As he ran, he noticed a door opening in front of him. It looked short enough to stop the pet.
He ran through the door, only to find Muffet in front of him. She was smoking a huge, purple cigar made of spiders. The purple smoke coming out of it was taking all forms of spider and cobweb shapes, filling the room with a nice smell close to Muffet's bakery.
-Hello, dearie!
-ARE YOU CRAZY? Frisk panted. YOU ALMOST KILLED ME!
-Watch your manners! Muffet scolded him, throwing some of her cigar's dust over Frisk's shoulder. You're talking to a boxing star!
Frisk had given up on logic at that point.
-What did you want?
-I'd like to have a friendly...fight with you!
-Why?
-Follow me!
-I asked you something!
-Oh, come on, who cares about these details? she chuckled and started walking forward, leaving Frisk no choice but to follow her.
They entered a room with a boxing ring. Muffet gave frisk a pair of pink boxing gloves and a cute, pink ribbon.
-Get ready! she ordered him while wearing her own purple gloves.
-What's the ribbon for?
-For your hair of course!
-Yes, I know it's for my hair Muffet! Why do I have to wear it?
-To make you look cuter, of course!
-I'm a boy.
-You're in MY house! I decide what you are!
-Didn't you complain because I was too late for a gentleman's standards?
-STOP THINKING SO MUCH! And get ready or you'll fight unprotected!
-Whatever... Frisk sighed.
-Stay there!
Muffet started walking away, approaching a purple canon. Frisk watched her as she tried to enter it. However, she couldn't, since her gloves were too big.
-Damn, I didn't predict this... Oh, well!
She got into the canon, leaving her hands outside so she could fit in.
-I'm ready!
A small spider lit a match and fired the canon. Muffet was launched into the air, making a front flip and gracefully landing into the ring.
-BOXER MUFFET INTO THE RING! she exclaimed.
-You know you could have just entered the ring like a normal person, right?
-Shut up, you aren't even in yet! What are you doing?
Frisk put on his gloves and got into the ring. It was then that he realised Muffet had six gloves on.
-Wait, you're gonna fight with ALL your arms?
-Yes!
-That's unfair.
-Not my problem!
-Of course it isn't your problem! Frisk sighed. Ah, the things I do for cookies...
As he was talking, Muffet punched his face without a warning, making him fall.
-WHAT THE-
-And this is the first lesson in boxing, ladies and gentlemen! Catch your opponent by surprise!
-WE HADN'T EVEN STARTED!
-The moment you stepped on the ring, you were ready!
-You didn't even let go of your cigar!
-And I won't. That's irrelevant!
Frisk suddenly jumped up and punched Muffet's head with an uppercut. Muffet got infuriated.
-WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
-Fighting you! Catching you by surprise, as you said!
-But as long as you hit the floor, you lose!
-I have 10 seconds to get up!
-You sneaky kid! Using little rules like that to your advantage!
-''Little rules''? This is one of the basics!
-SILENCE! Muffet screamed, punching Frisk.
Frisk managed to block Muffet's fist with his arm just on time. Muffet tried punching him again with her other arm, with Frisk blocking it again. They continued for some time, with Frisk barely being able to counter Muffet's attacks. It was then that Muffet punched him with all six of her arms at the same time. Unable to block them all simultaneously, Frisk fell down.
-Come on, get up and fight!
-Nah, I think I'll pass! You win!
-What are you saying? YOU COWARD!
-5 seconds left...
-NO! Muffet shouted angrily and ran to lift Frisk up.
-There! You're still in the game!
Frisk facepalmed.
-No cookies are worth this...
-Cookies?
-Well, you invited me for tea and cookies! That's why I came here in the first place!
-You mean...you didn't come for me?
-Definitely not. Your pet is always creeping me out.
-Oh, how cruel! How shameful! You betrayed me! You're rotten! Rotten and improper!
-Ummm...
-YOU SHALL BE PUNISHED! PREPARE FOR MY SPECIAL ATTACK!
Muffet suddenly took her cigar off and blew a huge cloud of smoke on Frisk. Everything around him turned purple, making him unable to see Muffet's moves.
-Are you kidding me? This isn't in the rules!
-You broke my heart! You ate my feelings away! Now...you shall be eaten!
-I don't like the sound of th-
Before Frisk was able to finish his sentence, Muffet appeared out of nowhere and swallowed him whole. Frisk panicked.
-WHAT ARE YOU DOING? he started shouting, punching her belly.
-Revenge, Frisk! You swallowed my feelings... I swallowed you!
-Let me out, woman! LET ME OUT!
-NEVER!
Frisk kept punching her from the inside, until Muffet finally spat him out in pain.
-You evil creature! How dare you hurt me?
-You swallowed me whole! What was I supposed to do?
-Excuses, excuses!
Muffet tried to punch Frisk again. Frisk managed to dodge her attack and land an uppercut on her once more, launching her up. Muffet's body broke through the ceiling and kept flying up into the sky, until she disappeared in a small, purple twinkle.
-How did I even do that...? Frisk wondered. I'm...not even gonna ask anything anymore.
Frisk decided to escape the manor while he had the chance. Taking the same route as before, he managed to leave without getting lost.
The next day, his phone rang.
-Hello dearie! Guess who?
-You called on my mobile Muffet, I saw your number before even picking up!
-Always, always thinking! Anyway, for yesterday's match... I guess you won that one. As much as I hate admitting this, it was technically a ring out so...yes, you win.
-Alright...sorry for launching you so high. I don't even know how that happened.
-It was your determination, Frisk! Anyway, gotta go now. I need to edit this all.
-Edit what exactly?
-The documentary we were filming yesterday!
-We were doing what?
-We were filming a documentary on boxing! It's to help one of my little spiders for a school project!
-What kind of school requires movie making?
-None! Truly, they just had to write an essay about their favourite sport! But, I thought that a documentary would be a much greater success!
-It doesn't work this way, Muffet... Frisk sighed. And why didn't you tell me that from the start?
-I wanted pure reactions! Real and natural ones, not just acting!
-And what was all the shenanigans with the doors?
-Part of the documentary of course!
-That had nothing to do with boxing!
-I know, but it hyped up the final battle!
Frisk facepalmed.
-You didn't even know the basic rules of boxing... They don't use smokescreens or swallowing in true matches!
-What would a great movie be without a little sci-fi?
-You said it was a documentary! Documentaries don't have sci-fi! They are informative and nothing more!
-Oh come on, why are you such a nerd? Think more openly! This isn't just a documentary! This is an innovation!
-This is pure shenanigans.
-How rude! I even made you the protagonist of a movie! You will become famous! You should be thanking me, especially after all the hard time you gave me yesterday!
-I'm the one that gave you a hard time? Really, Muffet?
-Yes! You weren't following the script properly!
-BECAUSE I WASN'T GIVEN ONE!
-I WANTED REAL REACTIONS!
-REAL REACTIONS DON'T FOLLOW A SCRIPT!
-Geez Frisk, are you always so grumpy?
Frisk sighed.
-You know what, forget it. Good luck with your movie. Please warn me next time I'm about to experience such a thing.
-Thanks dearie! Muffet chuckled. Oh, and if you wanna hang out again you can come over anyt-
Frisk hang up the phone.
-Frisk, dearie? Can you hear me? Frisk?
No reply.
-Darn, these phone lines are busted! Hmmm...maybe I'll do a documentary on phones next time! Yes, I know! I'll ask Frisk to participate again!
Muffet ran to her desk happily, ready to write a new letter to Frisk.
Frisk suddenly sneezed.
-I wonder who's thinking about me...