Mayu Suzumoto

So cold… So very, very cold.

That was all I knew. The cold was my only friend now, my only world. It was the one thing I could count on to keep me company…and I hated it.

Being a ghost is not what I thought it would be when I was alive. From what I'd seen of ghosts – in these hollow, empty, soulless halls – I'd thought that I would have free will over my spirit. I'd thought that I could move around on my own, finally away from misery.

But that wasn't the case.

I was doomed to haunt the place where I'd felt the most pain in my entire life. It took me a long time to figure out why I was stuck in this particular spot, at the end of the hallway, past the infirmary. You see, it's hard to keep your senses when you're dead. In moments of lucidity, I'd thought that maybe that is because you no longer have a brain. As a soul without a body, you can only rely on your emotions, which can harm you even further.

The events leading up to my death were a jumble. It was like flashbacks; I couldn't remember an event until it flashed before my eyes. And even when I did see something from the past, I couldn't make sense of it without having remembered what happened beforehand.

For instance, as I floated – that's what it felt like to be a spirit; like you're trapped in gelatin – a memory came back to me:

It was after school, just an hour before the school play auditions started. Shig, my best friend, and I were standing in the hallway just outside of the theater. He was auditioning for the lead part and I was there to support him. I was the production manager of the play, so I wasn't auditioning.

"I just don't know about it anymore, Mayu. I mean, everyone knows that auditions are just a popularity contest. How can I expect to get the part when no one likes me?" Shig was saying.

I laughed and put my hand on his arm for comfort. "Ah, Shig, always so down on yourself." I looked him straight in the eyes, trying to convey support in my expression. "The auditions aren't a popularity contest. Well, not as much as you think, anyway. And you've been practicing for months! Why let all that work go to waste?"

Morishige didn't answer for a moment. Instead, he continued gazing into my eyes, as if he were trying to see something more than my face. He was usually so calm and collected, so it surprised me when he squinted his eyes for a second before shaking my arm off and moving away from me. I'm not going to lie, it did hurt my feelings a bit.

Then, as if coming out of a stupor, he shook himself and returned his gaze to me. "Ah, Mayu, I appreciate the sentiment, but I think I may wait until college to pursue acting. That's when all the real actors come out, anyway, right?"

"I suppose…" I replied, although I really had no idea. "But…"

Shig spurred me on, wanting me to continue. "Hmm?"

With those eyes on me, though, I couldn't remember what I was going to say. We were the same age, but his stare could make me feel small again. I would never let him know that, though. So I turned around and tried regaining my composure, thinking of what I could say to make Shig change his mind.

I was just about to speak when I felt a hand lay on my shoulder. Before I could react, another hand brushed a piece of hair that had fallen out of my bow back behind my ear. I gasped, startled.

"You have such a beautiful way about you, Mayu," Shig whispered, sending shivers down my back. I heard him take a deep breath and then, "And your hair smells…heavenly."

I was going to turn around, but Morishige beat me to the punch. With his hand still on my shoulder, he delicately turned me, as if we were dancing. His eyes were hypnotic, causing every thought to disappear from my mind. Was he about to do what I thought he was…?

As if he could hear my mind, Shig closed his eyes and began to lean in.

Yes, this was it! He was going to kiss me! How had he seen through my façade? Had he known how I felt this whole time…? But…wait… This…this isn't right…

Shig's hair…it was turning black as coal. And his skin was losing all color. Suddenly, his eyes snapped open. My heart skipped a beat as I saw how dull they looked…like a dead fish…

I was going to scream. I could feel it in my stomach, churning and gaining more power before it made its way up my throat and –

"You will never see him again…"

The voice had come out of nowhere. I knew that voice from somewhere, but I couldn't remember who it was. I knew that this person was terrible, though. Goosebumps immediately began prickling my skin upon hearing that deep, rough tone, causing my body to become terribly still and cold.

I wanted to scream… I wanted to cry… But I couldn't.

So Shig did for me.

"MAAAAAAYUUUUU! AHHHAAAHHHH!"

He'd turned away from me, putting his head in his hands. Out of concern, I quickly ran in front of him, dropping to the floor so I could see his face. He didn't seem to notice me, so I tugged on his pants leg.

He removed his hands from his face to look at me. When he did, all the awful features – the dead eyes, the black-as-death hair, and the paleness of his skin – disappeared, bringing life back to him. "Mayu… I found you. I found you. I…found…you…"

I tried to speak, to ask him what he meant, but the words wouldn't come. In fact, I realized that I couldn't even move. What was happening to me?

"Haha…hahaha…ahaha…" Shig laughed as he bent down toward me. The closer he got, the louder his laughing became. "AHAHA…HAHAHA…AHA…"

He reached out and…pulled my head clean off my body.

I was immediately ripped out of the memory, if you could call it that. Like I said, memories mingled with each other when you're a spirit. It's as if time doesn't exist here…like it never existed.

Shig… I miss you. I want to see you. It's so cold here…so cold… Come hug me. Talk to me. I want you. I want you. I…want…you…

"But he doesn't want you."

The voice brought me out of my own misery. I turned my attention outward, trying to see who it was. This is a bit hard to explain. You see, because I am stuck in this one place, I have to turn inward on myself in order to…well, even know that I still exist, even if I'm only a ghost. However, I can turn my attention to the outside world if there is something interesting – which can simply be a voice in the dark – going on. Most notably, if there is another soul around. I don't know how I see, as I have no eyes anymore, but I do…

And standing – or, rather, floating – there was Sachiko Shinozaki, evil incarnate. She was the one who put me here and I'd rather spend eternity alone than to ever see her again.

"Why do you do this, Sachiko?" I asked. "Why do you torment me so? What have I ever done to you?"

She had been doing this a lot lately. Coming to see me, only so she can make me even more miserable. She'd been gone for a while. I can't tell you how long it was, but I know that it wasn't long enough. I'd heard, through the other lost souls trapped in this place, that Sachiko had moved on, that we could all go free, some time ago. But we were never allowed to leave. The other souls, desperate and heartbroken as they were, began sarcastically joking about Sachiko's "vacation". My hopes had been so dashed that I hadn't said a word about it or risk crying.

Sachiko smiled that eerie, wolf-like grin of hers. "It's simple, really. You lived. You were alive and happy while I rotted away, while everyone – everyone – forgot about me. So now you get to rot away while everyone forgets about you."

With that, she disappeared, off to kill or torment again.

I turned inward again, but not of my own volition. Once I was alone, it automatically happened, every single time.

Please, God… I thought. Release me from this torment. I was a good person, wasn't I? I really thought I was. But…how could I be…when I'm in Hell?

"Haven't you realized that there is no God? Surely you've prayed and been ignored enough to come to your senses…"

Two visitors in one day? This was definitely different… I came outward again, finding Naho Saenoki, another girl who had died in this Hell, standing before me. Naho was a medium in life, so it's no surprise that she has the power to move wherever she wants. I could feel the heat of her power radiating off of her…and it felt like Heaven.

"Wha-what do you mean?" I asked.

I'd only ever known Naho as a ghost. When we first had contact, I'd been alive and searching for Shig, as well as the rest of my friends. She'd helped me by telling me a little about this place. At that time, she'd seemed normal, not exactly happy, but…managing. Now, though, Naho's entire being drooped low to the floor, her head hanging down.

She didn't look up at me as she spoke. Instead, her gaze stayed fixed to the ground. "Exactly what I said. There isn't a God. If there were, why does this place exist? Why would he allow one girl to cause so much torment? And in death, even? Why hasn't he taken us? There is no God…" She sobbed. "There can't be…"

I wanted to comfort her as she cried, but, for some reason, I couldn't touch anything. Even if I could touch her, I'd probably only take away her heat and, as Naho was a medium, allow her to feel all my torment. I didn't want that to happen. No one should ever have to feel as I did.

"Naho…?"

"Hmm?"

I hesitated, wondering if I might overstep boundaries. But, then again, I was dead. What more harm could I do? "I was wondering… What happened to you?"

At that, her head snapped up and she looked right into my eyes. "Wh-what are you talking about?"

"Well, when we first met, you weren't…like this. You seemed like you were holding up relatively well. I don't mean to pry and you don't have to answer, of course. I was just curious…" I answered.

She shook her head, laughing to herself. Before I knew it, the laugh had turned into a sob and a tear rolled down her face. "What else can you be when you're a ghost? Curious is a very good adjective for all of us. Well, Mayu, I remembered something…something that happened right before I died. And it killed me inside."

"Oh!" If I were still alive, my cheeks would have blushed. But, in death, there is no warmth to be felt. "I am so sorry! I didn't mean to –"

"It's fine." Naho looked up at me again, her voice a monotone. "I think…it might help to talk to someone…" She looked as if she were silently asking me something, maybe wanting to know if I would mind listening. I said nothing, instead just nodding my head. So she continued…

"I thought I was strong enough to handle this…at first. When my…my mentor and I first heard about Heavenly Host, we were dazzled. It was as if fireworks had gone off in our heads, a lot like an epiphany. But I guess the firework lights blinded us for a moment too long…

"The more research I did on Heavenly Host Elementary and everything that came with it, the more resistance I felt. Eventually, Sachiko latched herself to me, causing me to cough up blood. She hid herself well, but she underestimated me.

"One day, my best friend Sayaka asked me to be a guest on her radio show. They were doing a segment on scary stories, so it was perfect for me. I agreed, a little reluctantly. When a spirit attaches itself to you, it can also attack the ones around you, and I didn't want to put Sayaka in harm's way. Spirits can also gain power by simply being spoken about or to. If a caller or fan of the show submitted a Heavenly Host story, Sachiko could easily hurt anyone in the recording booth…

"No one did, thankfully. But I found out that Sachiko was even more powerful than I thought that evening. I'd thought she underestimated me, but I'd underestimated her as well. She appeared in the corner of the booth, watching me. I tried my best not to let my fear show, but Sayaka noticed. I brushed it off and we finished the show.

"Later that evening, as we were watching the tapes, one of the workers heard something in the background. It was Sachiko. She was letting me know that she was watching me.

"When I got home, I found that my mentor – Mr. Kibiki, who I had been staying with – had ignored the note I'd left him that morning, letting him know that the Sachiko Ever After ritual was too dangerous. He had done the ritual with his assistant, Taguchi, and left me here, saying it was too dangerous for me. I was the only one who could really communicate with spirits and he wanted to leave me behind? Absolutely not.

"I knew that I had to do the ritual and find him before he got hurt – or worse, killed – but I needed another person to do it. I quickly ran to Sayaka's home and talked her into doing the charm with me. I will regret that for the rest of my existence…

"Sayaka and I were separated, landing in different planes, just as you were separated from your friends. I never saw her again. Yoshizaku, the man with the hammer, got to her before I could…"

Tears ran down Naho's face, but she never faltered in her words. "I did manage to find Kibiki, but it was too late. Like I said, I thought I was strong, but I wasn't strong enough. The Darkening came for me, oozing over every part of my body. Before I knew it, I was no longer in control of myself. I found Kibiki, my Kibiki, and…and…I killed him!"

Naho fell apart then, crying hysterically. I honestly didn't blame her. In fact, it made me want to cry with her. And soon enough, I did. We cried together for what felt like hours, until we felt exhausted. Strange that I could still feel tired in the afterlife…

"I…I feel…funny…" I murmured, wobbling. I felt like I might pass out, if that were possible.

Naho wiped her face and sniffled, looking back at me. "That's because you've used up a lot of your energy talking to me. Unlike me, you can only be seen for short periods of time. Then you have to disappear and regain your energy."

"Not…fair…" I mumbled right before I fell…

Or, started to fall, at least. Before I could, Naho reached out and somehow caught me. Her warmth washed over me and, for only a second, I felt alive again. It even hurt when she dug her fingers into my back.

But then she let go, stumbling back and breathing hard. She brought her hand up to her head and closed her eyes for a moment. When she opened them again, she looked right into my eyes. "That's it!"

I was confused. "Huh?"

"You are a genius, Mayu! Thank you so much!"

"What did I do?" I asked. "And how did we touch just then?"

A gigantic smile lit up Naho's face. Her cheeks were almost flushed. "I'm a medium. Being a ghost doesn't change that. In fact, it makes it that much stronger. When we touched, I was able to see in your mind and something caught my attention.

"You know the story of Sachiko, through your own experiences and the ones of others. But you thought of something I've never given much thought, surprisingly. How did Sachiko gain a human body to kill the children she kidnapped here?"

"Umm…" I had no idea. If I had known, I probably would've tried the same thing, except for the kidnapping and murdering part anyway. I just wanted to go home, to see my family, my friends…my Shig. "I don't know. How?"

Naho smiled again. "Through her own will, of course." Seeing the look on my face, she explained, "Sachiko had enough emotional and spiritual energy to break free of the spirit world. It's a lot like what I am able to do. I can be seen whenever I want to because I have a lot of spiritual energy that comes from my being a medium. Sachiko was able to manipulate that in order to gain a new human body…"

"So…what does that mean for us?"

"Us?" This time when Naho smiled, it didn't look pleasant or nice in any way. "There is no 'us'. I'm the only one who has enough power to do this. However, I will save you, just as I will save everyone in this Hell. Especially my Kibiki…"

And with that, she disappeared, leaving me sucked back into my own little bubble, all alone…