A/N: here's a new story, I already posted the complete story on a website call Divine Intervention, Google it, it's a website devoted purely to Lois/Clark pairings, of which I am a firm believer in. if anyone goes there, my name is sageofthe6paths.
I will post a new chapter at least once or twice a week, so that I can get more reviews. Be sure to enjoy!
The Darkness of Clark Kent.
The Loft.
Clark Kent sat on his couch in the loft of his barn, watching the sunset. In one hand was an empty bottle of Jack Daniels, long ago emptied. To him, it was a sad thing Kryptonians couldn't get drunk, for he wished he could simply be rid of his sorrows, if only for a night. He had sat here, for hours on end, thinking about the misery of his life.
The death of his father, Jonathan Kent, had struck a hard blow. But he had recovered, and moved on, sending it to the back of his mind.
His on and off again relationship with Lana Lang had torn him emotionally, when she had broken it off with him, it had hurt. When she had shacked up with his most hated enemy no less than 2 hours later that was devastating.
And now came the event that drove Clark Kent, Smallvilles' icon of good, over the edge.
The death of his best friend, Chloe Sullivan.
Or murder, as he called it. When Clark had found out about it, it had driven him over the edge. In a fit of anger, or madness as he called it, Clark had hunted down and killed the perpetrators.
No one officially knew it was him, though his mother, Martha Kent, and his friend and Chloe's cousin, Lois, had suspected it was him. And it was his actions that drove him to his current state.
He had felt immeasurable guilt at killing them, and the dark events of his life, all came rushing back. First it started with the nightmares of his father and Chloe blaming him for their deaths, then saying how ashamed they were of him.
It had driven him over the edge. Clark looked up to see the last of the sunset, he stood and got ready.
Tonight he was leaving smallville, never to look back.
Next morning.
Lois drove her car down the long drive way to the Kent farm, trying to find a way to change the thoughts that were threatening to consume her. She had taken up the job as Mrs. Kent's Chief of Staff, as well as being a free lance journalist, so much work to take her mind off of her cousin Chloe. And when Lois thought of Chloe, her thoughts strayed to Clark.
She had no idea how she felt about him, over the past month she had felt feelings develop. At first she thought it was because of grief, that she needed someone to comfort her. But as time went on, she felt her heart reach out for him. And after that one time, the one time she and Clark gave in, and had one night together, was the greatest moment of her life.
Then he had started to withdraw, Lois thought it was her that was causing it, that he felt he made a mistake sleeping with her. Then she heard him, she had went to Mr. Kent's grave stone. Mr. Kent had always felt like a father to her, a better father then her own, and she felt safe and secure telling him her greatest fears, her hopes, her loves. So she was surprised when she had spotted Clark there, crying, she had listened in, hearing him say how it was all his fault. How it was his fault he died because of the deal he made with Jor-El, how it was his fault he ruined his relationship with Lana, how it was his fault Chloe had died, and how guilty he felt for being with Lois. She had heard him say that he loved her, but was afraid he had pushed her away with the one night stand, and how he felt he lost his chance at happiness.
Lois's heart broke that day, as she listened to the sorrows of the man she loved. She wanted to be there for him, to help him, to comfort him, to love him. But when she turned around to try and talk to him, he was gone. Thus was why she was on her way to the Kent farm. She was going to confess her feelings for him, and to show him that he can have happiness, with her.
When Lois pulled into the drive way, she got out and headed into the farm house.
"Clark! Clark are you here?" she yelled. After no response, she went out to the barn and climbed the stairs to the loft, he wasn't here either.
She looked around and saw an empty bottle of Jack Daniels, "Clark, what has happened to you?" she asked to the air.
She looked around and went back into the house and sat on the couch, wondering where he was at.
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a note on the table in front of the couch, she picked it up and it read.
Sorry, but after much thought, I felt that I had to leave. I need to find myself, to find what it means for me to exist. Don't try finding me, you won't succeed, if I return, it will be when I am ready, not before.
-Clark.
Lois stared at the note with tears brimming in her eyes, and for the first time since Chloe's death, she cried.