Author's note: This is how I would've wanted a Robot Chicken sketch to be. It's just for fun! The series were created by Seth Green
Chapter 1: The Gay Pride of the Leaf
In the Village Hidden in the Leaves, everything is normal….well until we hear Naruto shouting out loud as usual. He and all of his friends are going on a mission.
Naruto: Alright! We're all gonna find Sasuke and convince him to stop his mad bid for power! Isn't that great, guys?
Kiba: Yeah, except for the only ones who are too obsessed with Sasuke is Sakura, Ino and you!
Naruto: What!? Who ever said of me being too obsessed with him!? We were only friends back then! I just miss him, that's all!
Kiba: Riiiiiigggghhhht
Shino: Is it just my sunglasses or are your cheeks reddening, Naruto?
Naruto: Just shut up!
Sakura suddenly punches both Naruto and Kiba much to their pain.
Sakura: Why must you two act like a couple of idiots!?
Naruto: Was hitting us really that necessary, Sakura?
Ino: I swear Sakura, you seriously have mental problems! On another note, what kind of nurse would've punched her own patients?
Sakura: I have never done something like that! What about you, who has sex in order to support her own business. That's really helpful!
Ino: God how difficult you are!
Kakashi: Breaking news, everyone! The ANBU Black Ops have confirmed that Sasuke and his new teammates are hiding somewhere in the Village.
Everyone's surprised at this announcement.
Chouji: But how are we gonna find them, Kakashi-sensei? The Leaf Village is huge! Besides I'm hungry now.
Shikamaru: For crying out loud, Chouji! You've just ate like….5 hamburgers at McDonald's before now! How in the world can you still be hungry?!
Chouji: What's your problem!? I just want to live, that's all!
Shikamaru: Yeah, but eating till your ass gets fattened up isn't…..oh shit!
Chouji punches Shikamaru, much to everyone's shock. He suddenly turns around and points his butt at him. He delivers a few slaps at it.
Chouji: My ass is not fat! It's attractive as a male counterpart to Kim Kardishian's ass!
Everyone couldn't help but to nearly throw up on the ground, given what the chubby boy just said.
Kakashi: As I said earlier, Sasuke and his associates are hiding somewhere in the village. I am certain they use disguises somehow. What was it again…..a Mehican or….anyway, they must be found! You may begin your search!
Sakura: But what about you, Kakashi-sensei? Won't you be joining us?
Kakashi: Eh…I can't….I have an important mission along with Iruka…so….OH MY GOD IS THAT SON GOKU FLYING UP THERE?
Everyone looks up to the sky to see if what Kakashi says is true. He suddenly vanishes from the scene. Naruto and his gang suddenly notice that the jounin is gone.
Sakura: Where did he go?
Naruto: What a jackass! This is probably the nineteenth time he leaves us so he can do something he wants!
Lee: So what are we waiting for? Let's find Sasuke! Who knows what trouble he might cause?
In another district of the village, Sasuke and his gang are wandering around dressed as Mexicans. Every villager stares at them with confusion.
Karin: These freaks keep staring at us for no reason! It pisses me off!
Suigetsu: For no reason, you say? They are staring at us because we are dressed like…..Mexicans!
Jugo: I think these outfits are not particularly appropriate to use in eastern cultures, especially those who use lame toilet humour to please themselves, right Sasuke? Uhhh….Sasuke?
Sasuke is standing on the top of a building scouting the village.
Sasuke: Naruto…..I am coming for you…we had "good times" together.
He thinks about his previous experience with Naruto, especially with the kissing accident and all the journeys they've been on together that were merely lame filler arcs.
Sasuke: After all this….you are finally mine!
Back to Naruto and his gang.
Naruto: Man, no sight of him yet. This village sure is big!
Sai: Right! You mean as big as your hairy balls and penis-shaft?
Naruto: What the hell is wrong with you, Sai!? Why do you always speak about my penis and stuff!?
Lee: Maybe it's because he likes you, Naruto! You sure attract a lot of males, not just women
Naruto: Shut up, Bushy Brows! You don't know anything about me!
Sai: Lee has a point, Naruto. You do seem hot sometimes, like when we spend together in the hot springs. I have never seen such a fine penis before.
Hinata: W-What!? S-Sai likes Naruto!? B-But I h-have fee….
Neji: Don't even say it, Hinata! There's absolutely no way in hell you're gonna get laid with him!
Tenten: Stop being so harsh, Neji! Hinata has a right to choose…
Neji: Was I talking to you, "Miss I Have a Fetish for Shoving Weapons up my Ass"?
Tenten: You're freaking sick, Neji! No wonder why anyone doesn't find you attractive.
Lee: But I find Neji attractive!
Everyone stares at him outraged. Lee gets confused.
Lee: What?
Suddenly Sasuke and his gang appear before Naruto and his gang. This spark fear and shock among everyone.
Ino: Look, its Sasuke!
Shikamaru: And he has brought with him a group of freeloaders! Man what a drag, I hate freeloaders!
Suigetsu: Did that homo with the ponytail just call us freeloaders!? Let's kick that queer's ass!
Chouji: Don't speak to Shikamaru like that! He is my friend and blood brother!
Shikamaru: Uhhhh….why are you holding my hand, Chouji?
Suigetsu: Oh great, another one? This village of yours is crawling with homos, Sasuke!
Tenten: What's with the homophobic language!?
Kiba: Eh duh! Both Shikamaru and Chouji wear earrings and they claim to be showering together during missions. Didn't you notice that!?
Tenten: Ehhhhhh…..
Naruto: Sasuke…it's you…..stop this madness, already
Sasuke: Naruto…..give me one reason why I should not destroy the village.
Sakura: Of course you shouldn't, Sasuke! Don't you know…..
Sasuke: I didn't ask for your opinion! This is between me and him! And for the last time, I don't love you!
Sakura: B-But w-why?
Sasuke: Are you seriously retarded? I consider you to be annoying and I almost tried to kill you yet you still have feelings for me? I would rather bang Ino if I was to choose between her and you!
Sakura: Ino? But you can't do that! We're on the same team!
Ino: Sasuke….you naughty bastard!
Kiba: Frankly, I don't get why girls are attracted to you at all! I mean, just look at you, Sasuke. You're a wannabe Vegeta and Hiei who always whines about getting stronger. Hell, you even waste energy on beating Naruto!
Sasuke: What the f**k did you just say!? Why do people compare me to them!? We have nothing in common!
Shino: Yeah, you have nothing in common with them, because you act like an emo who is sexually orientated towards men!
Sakura: That was not a nice thing to say, Shino!
Karin: No one ridicules my Sasuke and…
Suigetsu: Don't give us more of that bullshit! Sasuke is not attracted to neither of you!
Juugo: I swear this fan-girl effect has completely ruined our series, not to mention the fillers of course.
Out from nowhere, Orochimaru suddenly appears before them. Orochimaru smirks at Sasuke.
Orochimaru: Hey there Sasuke….remember me?
Everyone stares at him widened. It is clear that he is indeed familiar. He is also a well-known person.
Orochimaru: I just came back from the grave after being so rudely defeated by you.
Lee: Is that…..is that what I think it is?
Kiba: No way!
Naruto: It's…..Michael Jackson! How can he suddenly be resurrected?
Orochimaru takes that as an insult and begins to be depressed. He sits on the ground. The others get's confused at his behaviour.
Orochimaru: Why do people keep calling me Michael Jackson!? We have nothing in common! I am leaving this world. It's only filled with pain and suffering!
He runs away. Sasuke merely smirks to himself.
Sasuke: Finally he's gone! I don't understand why I joined him in the first place. He only took me to lame and childish amusement parks.
All of a sudden, Naruto steps closer to Sasuke's face. Everyone becomes shocked and wonders what the hell is going on. Is Naruto trying to embrace him?
Sasuke: Naruto….what are you…
Naruto: Shhhh….don't speak….I will do the rest
Sasuke: What do you mean by….
Suddenly Naruto presses his mouth against Sasuke's. They both kiss passionately at each other. Everyone around them stares at that widened. It also has an effect on them as well. Everyone realises their true sexual desires and where they lie.
Shikamaru: Oh Chouji….I….I just love you! I like chubby men who aren't the typical Britney Spears types.
Chouji: I admit that…..I have feelings for you as well! Let's hit the steak house, just the two of us!
Ino: Sakura….I'm sorry about all this trouble…..I love you more than Sasuke. Can we be together?
Sakura: Its okay, Ino! We both made the same mistake by chasing after that selfish emo. I think we girls deserve to have each other.
Lee: Neji….will you cross-dress for me? I want to see you in that, because you are sexier than Tyler Perry. We must bathe ourselves in the power of gay pride!
Neji: Lee…let me grab your ass in this sexy green jumpsuit of yours! I will cross-dress for you as long as we are together!
Kiba: Ummmm…what the hell's going on here?
Shino: Don't you realize it, Kiba? Now that Naruto and Sasuke have returned to each other, everyone has found their true sexual desires. It is the gay and lesbian pride that dominates our love lives! Everyone is now free to express their sexuality.
Kiba: Okay…..but I don't love you in case you didn't know.
Shino: That's fine by me. I actually don't wanna get laid with you either!
Suigetsu: You gotta be kidding me! Is this series turning out to be the first yaoi and yuri shounen manga in history?
Sai: Hey there, sexy boy! Do you want to join me by the hot springs? You can take that sword along with us. It will be a nice toy.
Suigetsu: God help me!
Naruto: When I become Hokage…..this village will be reborn as a centre of gay pride!
Sasuke: Yes! You are my Hokage! Take me ass your wife! It will be the first gay marriage in an anime and manga world!
Tenten: Uhhhh….have anyone seen Kakashi-sensei yet? Oh that's right! He left for something important. What is he doing by the way?
In a hot springs, Kakashi and Iruka are bathing in the same place. They turn up the song: You're my first, my last, my everything!
Iruka: Oh Kakashi…..you're so sexy with that mask of yours!
Kakahi: Thank you! And you are sexy with that scar across your nose.
And thus began a new era for the shinobi: the era of tolerance.
To be continued…
Author's note: This was my first attempt at a Robot Chicken sketch. Hope you enjoyed it!
Characters belong to Masashi Kishimoto. Show belongs to Seth Green.