"When you're not happy, I'm not happy."
On the plane ride to New York, Fiona falls asleep on your shoulder.
It's a four hour flight and your arm gets tired, but you don't move. She wakes up smiling, so incredibly happy to be back home.
"God, I've missed this place." Fiona says as she runs her fingers over the counter.
"Me too." You say, but you can tell that Fiona's missed it so much more. She loves everything about New York; the fast paced life, the fashion, the way the lights never seem to go out.
Fiona smiles, "Holly J will be here soon. I'm sure she'll love it."
She won't, probably, but you don't say this. Instead, you suggest ordering take out from that place that you always loved way back when. Fiona thinks it's a brilliant idea.
Summer dawns fast on the Upper East Side.
The heat radiates from the sidewalks, and your Raybans become your number one accessory. Fiona takes to wearing brightly colored sundresses, her green eyes sparkling and her smile never faltering, even as the sun glares down on you both.
"I bet summer's dull in Canada." The comment rolls off her tongue as she sips on the lemonade she's picked up from a street vendor.
"Not half as hot, though."
Fiona rolls her eyes, lips still firmly turned up, "I like the heat."
Holly J calls every other day.
Most of the time, the conversations are short and hurried. She's always doing something, and you find yourself curious, wondering where she's going, who she's seeing. It's weird, being so far away from her when for months you'd been spending every moment together.
Fiona keeps you occupied, doesn't let you dwell on the fact that Holly J's not around. You go sightseeing like the tourists, shop for hours on end, attend fashion shows and charity events.
It isn't so bad.
Having the whole family together again is strange.
Both your parents still work like crazy, but at the end of the day they come back to the same house, to their children.
Fiona rolls her eyes at family dinner, she still smiles when dad cracks lame jokes, though. You know she'd rather be having sushi somewhere, so would you, but this is nice. This togetherness.
"I like having them here, but we were always a family, you know? You and me." She says that night out on the balcony, right after you've hung up from a short call with Holly J. You notice the slight twist to her lips.
You nod, "You and me."
Fiona hooks up with her old friends in the city.
She tells them about the horrors of public school and Canada, while you take to going out to clubs and listening to underground Indie music. Fiona tags along sometimes, her high heels clacking on the sidewalk alongside you.
She hates Brooklyn, but she goes anyway, listens intently to a band that reminds you of Janie and the Studs. She nods her head to the music, bumps your hip with hers. She knows you're not one for dancing. You cave eventually, roll your eyes as you sway side to side with her.
By the time the set winds down, you're smiling along with her.
Holly J arrives in the middle of June, her hair in a tight ponytail, determination in her eyes.
New York is nothing like Degrassi, and it takes her only moments to figure it out. You accompany her to her internship every morning, watching people on the streets as you stare out the dark tinted windows of your parents towncar.
"Everything moves so fast here." She says, but she's not smiling, she's not Fiona, she doesn't like this city.
"I like it."
Holly J gets out of the car.
The distance has apparently impacted your relationship.
When she's home from the internship, she chatters about the internship and all her work and how much she enjoys it. You find yourself nodding, with nothing of importance to add to the conversation. The silence drags out when you're together, and you don't know how to fix it.
Fiona ghosts in and out of the house, bright colors flitting by your door and texts on your phone about hanging out with friends.
The summer drags on.
"I feel like we're not connecting."
Holly J's sitting at the kitchen table, her fingers tapping against the cold granite. She's right, you're not connecting with her, and you don't know why. Nothing makes any sense.
"Something changed when I was at home and you were here. Something happened."
She keeps talking and honestly, you don't care and that's awful, that's bad. You care about Holly J, you do... You did. Before New York.
"Declan?"
Her blue eyes look so sad, she's not smiling.
"I'm sorry."
Holly J leaves the next week, her internship and relationship over.
You go with her to the airport, and she tells you that she's not mad. She promises to call and before she goes through security, she hugs you.
Degrassi's not such a bad place. Maybe you'll visit.
The pattern you and Fiona had before Holly J's arrival falls back into place.
There are lemonade stands and trips to the Statue of Liberty, but something's wrong. Fiona's eyebrows scrunch together, she touches your shoulder, squeezes.
"If you're not happy, I'm not happy, Dec."
You smile, and maybe this isn't right, maybe Fiona shouldn't play such a key role in your life, but whatever. You don't care.
"I'm happy, Fi. I'm happy."
Fiona smiles and all is right in the world.