Every Fanfic I've Ever Read Ever

by Firestartarter

This is the worst thing I could think of in the time span of 15 minutes. I tried to be funny so I made fun of fanfics and fanfic writers by making a fanfic. I also added people I know through an online game because I'm not creative enough to think of real names (plus making fun of people is my favorite pass time). I don't reccomend reading this in front of your parents.

I tried to write the worst thing I could think of, it's probably not even that bad since I lack creativity but who knows? If you read this and get eye cancer it wasn't my fault, it was yours for liking fanfics and deviantart you pesant PC MASTER RACE AGHGHGAGFHSJAVIBWHFOYU!

Chapter 1: The Only Chapter You FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFNIce Person :D Subscrooble to maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

It has been a long and HARRRRDDDDD day, like rlly hard, like furrys on deviant art hard. Which is rlly hard (I made the funny haha of jook, i am so cool and popular). A young man, named Kappa/ Prime just got home from High of Schools, becuz thats relatiblelele to young pplssssss. But Kappa/ Prime Derective Super Cool Guy the 2nd was not an ordinary the schooler, he was a anime herooooooooooo... jk thats cliche so ima be more cliche and grotesct! He's a camera man for a porn website, called Sparky F***s Bats. And it was his shift today, he sighed, wondering what it wold've been like to not be sold into slavery by his further, the most powerful warrior of the plenet. "Why, why am I in this sh*t fanfic!?" He shouted. "And my name is Bob!" A hand then appeared and slipped a twenty in his pocket. "Never mind." Da hand then the walking away, as he left he slapped Kappa/ Prime Derective Super Cool Guy the 2nd Savior Backslash Hashtag's aaaaaaaaa-behind. (I already hate myself for doing this). He then marcheded down into the basementeds in the basement. He passed the other generic porns that were being filmed as the usual horros scared him (mostly the furry and horse ones). He tried not to look but his eyes always drifted back to the horrific scenes.

By the time he got to were he was supposed to be working he already had a hard on for the lesbian scenes... I mean... uh... he had a cucumber in his pants he was saving it for later (I can't be too the inaprepriates HAHAHAHAHAHA! lol). The narrator then leaned back in his chair and took a sip from his water bottle, this was gonna be a long night... but not as long as Kappa/ Prime Derective Super Cool Guy the 2nd Savior Backslash Hashtag Stay In School Drugs Are Bad Smoking's d-and back to the story. Kappa/ Prime Derective Super Cool Guy the 2nd Savior Backslash Hashtag Stay In School Drugs Are Bad Smoking Cornelius Omutus Tangerine was standing by the pornstars of his shoot, god he hated his life. The shoots weren't that bad since he could just let the camera role and not look, but it was the weird sh*t that happened during the shoots that got to him, by the end of the last one the planet was destroyed and he was handcuffed by ninjas while eating a demon cat. These fanfics just keep getting worse and worse.

"We ready to role yet?" Asked one of the men. It was one of the usuals, Goth. That wasn't his real name but people only remembered him from the shoots he did during his "Phase". "Uh, yeah... I guess." After Kappa/ Prime Derective Super Cool Guy the 2nd Savior Backslash Hashtag Stay In School Drugs Are Bad Smoking Cornelius Omutus Tangerine Super Person God Thing Turtle said this Goth put a paper bag over his head, changed into a medieval knight costume that was crotchless and handcuffed himself, he then sat on his knees in the middle of the giant X in the middle of the room. Two men with scared looks on their faces then ran out and strapped a ball gag on Goth and ran out. Goth then started screaming as 8 men and 8 women ran out and started beating him with plastic horse legs as a man in a bat suit ran out with a sign saying, "HALF OFF AT DENNY'S CAR WASH!" as he danced around the horrific scene.

A few minutes later goth was nothing more than a bloody pulp and the other people dressed as tribal cavemen (sorry cavepeople for those feminist out there ;D im such a nice men) began to eat each other. The remaining ones then bukaked on the the remains and casually walked away, slinging towels over their shoulders and drinking from water battles as they talked about their days. The scene then quickly changed as men ran around cleaning everything and placing down props as a new man walked onto the scene. He looked like a blonde hobbit... that is all. His name was DYLANDDDDDDDDDD and he was in many other porns before this one... MANY... PORNS... they were all gay and involved rocks. Dyland then walked up to a lone bolder and put his face against it as he stroked it. "Shhhhhh, it's alright now my sweet." He then putted his meeerrrrr into the wholeoeoeoe of bolder makin the bolder bbs. He den poopy his pants and ate it, making the outtie hashbacks with the rockamapotimus. Then a boy with a wolf mask over his head and the words, "#FIREWINS!" written on his back in orange ran out and decapitated Dyland with a chainsaw made of potatoes and shark teeth. "UGGHHHHH I WIN I'M SAGE OF SIX PATHS! F*** U FLETCHY U SOUND LIKE A GIRL! UGGHHHHHGGHHGHGHGHGH! SPARKY GIMME MY 2500 TP!" A man was then asked him to kindly leave, which he said, "Okie :3." too.

Kappa/ Prime Derective Super Cool Guy the 2nd Savior Backslash Hashtag Stay In School Drugs Are Bad Smoking Cornelius Omutus Tangerine Super Person God Thing Turtle then ran out of the room and threw up, disoriented and scared. "Wh-What the f-blehhhhhh! What... where am I? Is this real life!?" He then threw up again. Regaining his bearings he looked at his watch. "TWO MINUTES! I still have to work for an hour! How was any of this even possible anyways!? You know what? I don't even care anymore." He then walked back into the room like a dumba**.

The narrator now stared at his work, this was good, no, perfect for catching people off guard, but the joke was getting old, how was he going to make it funny again? he pondered this for a while. What if this was it? only the beginning was worth reading, and he hadn't even gotten to Sparky yet! If he was going to get banned from this site he should atleast add Sparky to this mess and win the contest, but how? If he poked fun at Sparky being a BAT FURRY, it would probably get a chuckle or two... and maybe him permabanned from the server, but not a win. Maybe CoolLapis x Fletchy (it's funny cuz they're brothers). Nah... well maybe...

CoolLapis just got home from Super Sugoi Senpai Sama Kun Magic Adventure High School to see his adoring famery. "OniCHAAAANNNNNN!" His brother cried as he ran down the steps, talking Lapis. "Hello, the Fletch or ERRRSSSS. It is I Onich-Lapis, yes, that is name. Now let us... F***!" Lapis then bent over Fletch and-NOPE! Nope not doing that one. Definitely not... unless...

CoolLapis just got home from Super Sugoi Senpai Sama Kun Magic Adventure High School to see his adoring famery. "OniCHAAAANNNNNN!" His brother cried as he ran down the steps, dressed like a lil gurl. "Hello, the Fletch or ERRRSSSS. It is I Onich-Lapis, yes, that is name. Now let us... F***!" Lapis then bent over Fletch and-NOPE AGAIN! This isn't working.

The narator then stood up from his chair and went for a walk around his neighborehood, viewing the beauty of the outside world. He watched some baby ducks splashing in the pond, an old couple feeding some birds, and eventually stopped at the top of a hill to watch the sunset. He sighed... THE OUTSIDE WORLD SUKKKKSSSSSSSSSKSKSKSKSKSKS! He was about to leave until he heard a voice. "Beautiful, isn't it." A feminine voice? The narrator turned around to see a girl standing behind him. It was love at first sight. Over the course of the next 4 months they dated, going to the amusement park, eating ice scream, playing video games. They were both happy. The narrator was playing video games with his girlfriend and his best friend when he noticed the chip bowl was empty. "Allow me, to get us more refreshments, because I cherish both of you more than anything." He then got up to do what he just said. When he came back they weren't there. He then looked throughout his house and heard a noise coming from his room. "Bed springs?" He opened the door to see his former best friend f***ing his former girlfriend. He then walked away, went to his basement and sat back down at his pc... "ONICHAAANNNNN!" Fletcher cried as he tackled his brother.

Kappa/ Prime Derective Super Cool Guy the 2nd Savior Backslash Hashtag Stay In School Drugs Are Bad Smoking Cornelius Omutus Tangerine Super Person God Thing Turtle Buy My Shirts Subscrooble then went back to the thing he hated most, his job. He sighed as he waited for the next star, great big shining star to walk in. He was surprised to see Sparky, the owner of the company he worked for. "Oh, uh, hi boss." Kappa/ Prime Derective Super Cool Guy the 2nd Savior Backslash Hashtag Stay In School Drugs Are Bad Smoking Cornelius Omutus Tangerine Super Person God Thing Turtle Buy My Shirts Subscrooble KameHaMePotatoe said nervously as he straightened up. "Why are you here?" He asked. Sparky then smiled as he slowly lifted his hand which had a bat in it. "Uh?" Sparky then raised his eye brows. "Wait... no..." Sparky undid the buckle of his pants. "No..." Sparky dropped his pants and underwear. "No!" He then slowly moved the bat to his-"NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!" The meh was then inserted and the bat then started shrieking as it lifted Sparky off the ground and began flying around. "Awwwwhahahaaaaaaa why me!?" Kappa/ Prime Derective Super Cool Guy the 2nd Savior Backslash Hashtag Stay In School Drugs Are Bad Smoking Cornelius Omutus Tangerine Super Person God Thing Turtle Buy My Shirts Subscrooble KameHaMePotatoe Kappa/ cried as Sparky flew around with his d*ck stuck in a bat making shrieking noises. "BUY MORE RANKS!" He screamed as the Earth imploded and Kappa/ was arrested by ninjas while eating a dead bat.

The End.

I am so funny for writing this ha... ha... haha... I hate myself a little more now, f*** my life.