Ever since his grace had been stolen, Cas understood what it meant to bleed. Before, it was a sign that his vessel was damaged, now he felt the blood, he felt every molecule of it as it flowed down the side of his head. He wished he understood what was going on, Dean's choices never truly made sense to him, but attacking him is something Dean had never done before. It must have been the blade; it was tainting Dean, Cas needed to get it away from Dean. But how was Dean even walking? He decided that Metatron must have lied about killing Dean to try and get him to overreact. The cool Kansas breeze chilled his blood as it oozed from his temple. He didn't dare heal it, as he didn't know how much grace he had left. The jump out of the bunker had been necessary; hopefully, if he waited a bit Dean would cool off and see that the blade was no good for him. Abaddon was dead and Crowley or any other demon could easily be killed with an angel blade.
Cas sat and wished for the old days, any of them. Hunting Lucifer, saving Dean from Hell, even being in Purgatory was preferable. Anytime when Dean and Cas were almost surely going to die would be better than this. Being able to get a shoulder pat or even a hug in was the greatest joy Cas could feel, even if Dean never knew what it truly meant to Cas. He prayed even though he knew God was not listening, he prayed to have Dean cool off and for Dean, Sam, and Cas to walk away from all of this. He was so sick of fighting demons, angels…anything and everything.
"Castiel."
No. No. A chill ran down his spine, this wasn't possible. It would have taken Dean at least a day to get here, and that was if he knew where Cas was.
Cas turned to the voice and said, "Dean, how did you ge—" No. No. Not like this. A tear began to roll down Cas' cheek as he looked into Dean's cold, calculating, black eyes. "Dean…" He couldn't continue for fear of crying and he fell to his knees. "No." he breathed as Dean continued to stare at him.
"It took me a few tries to figure out where you were you know." Dean slowly closed the gap between the two as he talked, "I tried just outside of the bunker, checked the remains of Bobby's house, I should have known you would have come to Lawrence."
Dean looked around the graveyard that they were standing in as his left hand moved to Cas' face. The warmth that Cas had known in that hand was gone. This man, no, this demon was not Dean as Cas had known him. Cas looked up at Dean hoping to see a glimmer in Dean's eyes, but there was nothing, only darkness and emptiness.
"We all have our part to play, Castiel, but you're part is up."
Dean's hand moved from Cas' face to his trench coat faster than Cas could teleport.
"No, no, no, Castiel, no jumping out of here," Dean scolded as his fist crashed into Cas' face. He felt the skull of his vessel crack, but he did not care. Another punch landed and he knew that his jaw was broken.
"Come on, Castiel. This isn't as much fun if you can't feel it!" Dean yelled as his right hand went into his jacket. He pulled out the first blade and knelt to be face to face with Cas. Cas was scared and wanted to fight, but could not after the beating he gave Dean in Lucifer's crypt. The first blade touched his throat as Dean continued to talk, his voice was calmer, but more sadistic.
"All those times you turned against me, all the times you beat me to an inch of my life."
The blade slit across Cas' throat and he could feel his grace slipping away, as it did, the pain of his vessel became his pain. It hurt to breathe, it hurt to live now.
"All those times and here I am Castiel, alive and well."
Dean got up and used the jawbone of the blade to bring Cas' eyes to him.
"Because I am stronger than you!"
Dean's right hand again came down on Cas' face, right under his eye. The pain was indescribable and his eye started to swell immediately. Again and again the punches came, but Dean never relented, never slowed. It all took less than a minute, but for Cas it was an eternity. His back bowed and he couldn't see out of one of his eyes, but he grabbed Dean's left arm in silent, peaceful protest.
"Dean," he sputtered, barely able to talk with the blood in his mouth, "Please don't. I need you." He looked into Dean's eyes, praying that there would be some humanity left, " I love you. Always." A bloody tear fell from his swollen eye.
"I know."
Cas' heart fluttered, thinking he had reached him and that he could be saved. He thought that until Dean aligned the first blade with Cas' heart. Dread crept over Cas as he looked at Dean, unrelenting, uncaring.
"I always did," Dean said quietly as he pushed the blade in Castiel's body.