'I'll call you later'
'No you won't'
-
Years pass (they go faster when you learn to forget, push out the ones you love dead and alive) and little by little you grow strong one son of a bitch at a time but on the out side, expect for a few new scars, you look the same.
(when inside your breaking into a million pieces, one piece falling to the ground at a time, Daddy, Ash, and now even Dean)
The news (that is heard faster then when it really sinks in, he's gone) hits harder then it should, the words Dean Winchester and death sticks hard to my bones so hard they might start cracking.
(and then I would really be breaking into pieces)
-
"Hey Bobby, took care of the case you sent me, easy as pie. Anyway, if you run across Sam anytime soon tell him I'm sorry. (and this is the point where my voice breaks with tears and I rush to hang up, not even family gets to see or hear my childish tears)"
-
It was forever useless to try and not care (I gave up trying to forget him months ago, just found the closest hunt and pictured his smirking face, 'you never called') since at this very moment it was the only thing that was on my mind.
"Sam (can he hear the deep fear in my voice?)?"
"Jo?"
For a split second I thought Sam had been taken over by a demon (my tiny fingers went straight for my collection of knifes that never seemed to poke me) but with his weak-hearted smile it was clear that it was death of his brother that had taken everything out of him, every single last bit of humanity was slowly dying away.
"Long time no see, Winchester. (I won't tell you I want to see his face smiling at me more then yours)."
The perfect little smile (that has been perfected over the years, and came out every time his named was said) came out stronger then ever, hand out and ready to greet his when all the rest of my body wanted to do was run.
"Sam come on are you going to be in there forever? We need to hit the road. Jo?"
The world (in all of its horror that I have a front seat to) seemed to freeze when that all too familiar voice hit my ears (the one that haunted my dreams to this very day) and that smile came into view.
"Dean?"
-
'you didn't call'
That's all my tiny little brain (covered by blond) could think of to stammer out at the man that I had just begun to mourn (it took more time to let go then it did to love him).
"Your alive? Who made the deal (and can give them a hug?)?"
There had been only one thing that my parents told me (but of course to this very day I am the rebellious child) that I followed to the letter.
'rule # 1: Never make a deal, no matter how much you love someone, they would rather be dead then see you spending your days forever in hell. Plus if you do you'll be grounded until you die.'
My mind was still trying to form any coherent thoughts and fit this illogical thing before me in with everything else, 'he should be dead, buried and dead and here he is, the man I claim to love, alive and well'
"No one did, I was brought back by a an-angel."
"An angel?"
"I know it sounds wonky but it's the truth I was face to face (well not really, because if that was so my eyes would be burned out of my sockets) with him just a few days ago."
Instead of my head filling up with the need to prove that this was one big joke all I could do was smile.
(smile big and toothy because of the fact that the many prayers from a girl with little to no faith had been answered and personally delivered.)
The moment Sam left for the car, leaving us to one another, my heart went back to normal because I had nothing to fear (just my impulse to give the man before me a kiss).
Fear was something that I had to overcome within the year that I was forced to grow into my skin and become the hunter I am today.
It was something I faced head on and came out victorious.
I could pull my head up and kill the monsters each of them equal in horribleness but the end was just another tale in Jo Harvelle's life book but there was still one more monster that put fear in me into this very day.
And that would be Sam Winchester or the demon that seemed to still be well inside of him.
-
"You believe me don't you?"
Instead of stuttering out a yes (cheeks hiding a blush, because it would be wrong to love the man who broke your heart into a million pieces) I pulled him closer to me then he had ever been.
There was no goddamn why I was going to waste the second change that God seemed to have handed me.
"I-I'm sorry, I just-just missed you a lot. You should have called me."
For the first time since we meet (in the very last days of my childhood before I shed my baby fat and became a woman) my lips did not spill out lies and there was hope within his eyes that he would do the same.
"I know I should have called you, more then you realize."