Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen...It's time for another episode of... Cooking with FitzSimmons! Today they are going to show you how to make a traditional egg and toast breakfast. And now, your host- FIIIIIITZSIMMMONS! *Random Applause*
Fitz: Hello everybody, and welcome to another episode of...
Simmons: Cooking with FitzSimmons!
Fitz: This episode will be all about making an egg and toast breakfast.
Simmons: We will show you step by step how to construct an unforgetable breakfast.
Fitz: First let's get the eggs started.
Simmons: When cracking the eggs it's best to get it all in the bowl. For everyone on the bus, 32 eggs should be enough. (Agent May has a big appetite)
Fitz: Remember that bit.
Simmons: Well it seems like we got 20% of it in the bowl.
Fitz: That should be enough. We've learned over the years that the longer the milk is out of date, the better it tastes. Add 2 gallons.
Simmons: We both took 3/16 a Semester of Home Ec at the Academy.
Fitz: That sure was an exciting class. I slept through most of it.
Simmons: Anyway, after mixing the Milk and the Eggs put them in pan and stick it in the Microwave.
Fitz: I'll get started on the toast.
Simmons: The eggs go in the Microwave for 12 minutes on High.
Fitz: Take two pieces of bread, exactly 0.81 inches thick works best. Apply butter and put them in the mega toaster. Repeat process 88 times.
Simmons: The eggs are almost ready, Fitz.
Fitz: Right. Push the lever down, and wait.
Simmons: Alright, the eggs are coming out.
Fitz: Be safe.
Simmons: Thanks Fitz.
Microwave: BOOM!
Simmons: AAAAAAH!
Fitz: I'll be right there Jemma!
Toaster: DING!
Fitz: Right after I get all 178 pieces of Toast out.
Simmons: Help!
Fitz: Shit! The first piece won't come out! Maybe if I pull it out with a fork. Almost there...
Toaster: ZAP!
Announcer: Um, Everything OK guys?
Simmons: Just a 3rd degree burn! On my face! Happens all the time!
Fitz: Only a major volt of electricity tearing away at my insides! We were highly trained for this!
Announcer: Look at this! It's a celebrity appearance from...
Agent Phil Coulson: What the hell is going on?
Announcer: This is cooking with FitzSimmons!
Coulson: You're the smartest people on our plane! You created an antidote for the F.Z.Z.T. disease! You can't make toast! Charlie Brown can make toast!
Simmons: Help!
Coulson: Whatever. (Helps them up and takes them to the medical wing)
Announcer: Tune in next time, for when FitzSimmons shows you how to create the world's deadliest sandwhich!
Fitz: *Zap!* Remember folks, *Zap!* FitzSimmons are highly trained with *Zap!* this equipment. *Zap!* Don't sue us. *Zap!*