„Love fades. Mine has. "
Those words were going around my head as I ran across court towards the dhampir guest dorms. All of a sudden I heard a commotion coming from Queen Bitch's – uhm I mean Queen Tatiana's – quarters. I sprinted over there just in time to see the guardians leave and Tasha Ozera enter. What is she doing there? And why on earth are the guardians leaving their charge alone? The queen at that? I sneaked inside the door quietly and gasped when I saw Tasha standing over Tatiana's bed with a stake in her raised hand – my stake.
"Tatiana!" I shouted and the Queen shot up, missing the stake by a hair's breadth.
I tackled Tasha to the ground, unsuccessfully trying to get my hands on the stake. She slammed my head and repeatedly slammed it on the ground with all her might. My vision was clouded and Tasha used that opportunity to move towards the Queen again. I shot up despite the pain and moved to stand in between them. Considering my smaller frame, the stake still pierced my chest before I could do anything to stop it. I screamed out in agony but mustered up just enough strength to hit Tasha over the head with a small lamp I had picked up a few seconds ago.
"Get… help…" I rasped out before falling to the ground and finally allowing the darkness, which had hovered at the edge of my vision, to completely take over.

When I woke up, I was standing at the Academy. As I looked around, I saw someone walk towards me, whom I never thought I'd see again.
"MASE!" I exclaimed happily running over to him and jumping into his arms.
"Rose, what are you doing here? You can't be dead, it's not you time yet!", he shouted at me, his hands holding me at arm's length.
"Why not?", I snorted. "It's not like I have anything worth returning for anyway."
"What about Dimitri? Don't you love him anymore?", he asked confused.
"Of course I do. But he doesn't love me anymore. So love is definitely not a factor worth going back for."
"And Lissa? What about Lissa?"
"She doesn't need me. I'm just a dhampir. Replaceable. For protection she's got Dimitri and Christian. I'm sure neither of them will leave her side ever again." I answered bitterly, explaining the whole ordeal to him, from how HE told me how his love had faded to my last thoughts when I died.
"What about Eddie? You can't just leave Eddie behind! You need to go back for him. You know he will blame himself regardless of how you died. Regardless even of the fact that was all the way across court at the time of your death. He will probably blame himself for exactly that tiny little thing, although he couldn't have done anything to prevent it anyways. You NEED to go back. As I said, it's not your time yet."
"But I would rather stay here. It doesn't hurt anymore. I feel free of that unimaginable pain in my chest that has nothing to do with the stake embedded in it and that I wouldn't even wish upon my worst enemy. Compared to that hurt the pain the lethal wound inflicted on me doesn't exist anymore. Please let me stay." At this point I was crying. Mason pulled me into him and whispered.
"Shhh… I'm sorry… It's all going to be okay… shhh…"
"What… a-are you s-s-sorry f-f-for?" I stammered still wracked by sobs.
"I'm sorry that you don't get to choose. I'm sorry that you have to go back. I'm sorry for leaving you and Eddie behind. I'm sorry for pressuring you in a relationship with me. I'm sorry for…"
"Stop. Those are all things you cannot change. You don't need to apologize. I don't want you to. You couldn't help your feelings for me and I couldn't help not returning them. I desperately wanted to, I just couldn't…"
Suddenly everything around me started fading.
"Mase? MASE!"
"Bye Rose. I'll see you again when your time has come." And everything went black again.

I woke up o a beeping noise next to my head. I felt like I couldn't breathe because of the tube sticking in my throat. I started panicking and gagging and the machine next to me started going wild. I heard a door being opened and a calm voice spoke: "Calm down honey. Don't try to breathe on your own until I have removed the oxygen tube from your mouth, okay?"
She immediately set to work and once the tube thingy was removed I could finally breathe freely.
"Where am I?" I croaked, taking in the room around me. It didn't look like a hospital at all with its nice red walls and the comfortable bed I was lying in, but I still assumed to be in one, since I was almost killed.
"This is the Queen's private hospital wing. Since you saved her life she requested that you are treated her."
"That certainly does explain the comfy bed." I rasped, my throat still as dry as the Sahara. The nurse grabbed a cup off of the night stand and passed it to me. I took it gratefully and gulped down its contents quickly.
"How is the Queen? Did she get help in time?"
"Yes, help came just as Lady Ozera was waking up from her involuntary nap. The guardians immediately took her into custody and she is now in the prison here at court, awaiting her trial for high treason against the crown."
"How did I survive? I mean, Tasha got me pretty good. Princess Vasilissa didn't heal me, did she?", speaking of Lissa, I couldn't feel her through the bond. Was she still blocking me?
"We don't know how you pulled through, but you did, and it was certainly without the help of the princess."
"Can I have my phone please? I'd like to check up on her."
"Of course. Here's your bag, it should be inside. If you need anything just press this button and I'll come and help you. The doctor will come soon to check up on you as well."
"Sure… thanks!"
I took my phone out and dialed Lissa's number.
"Rose? Where the hell have you been in the past three weeks? You didn't answer your phone, I was very worried. Last thing I heard was that you saved the Queen from Tasha and that you were admitted to the hospital but when Dimitri and I got there you were long gone. Where are you? Are you okay?..."
I zoned out after I heard HIS name.
"ROSE!"
"Sorry, Liss, I zoned out I guess. I am in the Queen's private hospital wing, she requested for me to be put here since I saved her or something. You can visit me, if you want. I'm sure they'll let you through now that I'm awake. But please, leave Dimitri wherever he is. I don't want to see him or talk about him for that matter."
"Uhm Rose, I think you should at least listen to what he has to say before you decide so prematurely. When we were at the hospital he kept mumbling that this was his entire fault and you would die thinking he didn't love you. What's all that about? I thought you would do ANYTHING to get him back?"
"He doesn't love me anymore, Liss. He said his love had faded." I said, tears running down my face.
"Even if he said that, your feelings couldn't possibly run this deep for him. Talk to him, hear him out. Then move on for fuck's sake."
"What do you mean, my feelings for him couldn't possibly run this deep?! Take your feelings for Christian and multiply them with 100 and you don't even have half of my love for Dimitri."
"Unbelievable. Your job is to keep me safe and now you decide all of a sudden to love some other dhampir, whom you can't face because he doesn't love you back. You are so selfish. You couldn't ever possibly love Dimitri as much as I love Christian, let alone a hundred times as much. I am coming over now and I'm bringing Dimitri."
"You do no such thing. I will not ever see you or him again. I will tell everyone that I don't wish to see either one of you. I thought you were kind and caring and my best friend. But looks like I was wrong. You are a selfish, lying, manipulative bitch whom I never want to hear from again!" I hung up, seething with anger. I looked around for the remote to get the nurse.
"What can I do for you, Sweetie? Everything alright?"
"Can I give you a list of people I don't want to see? It's rather short."
"Of course. Who is it?"
"Princess Vasilissa Dragomir and Dimitri Belikov. I don' know if he's been reinstated as guardian yet, so you should probably add the title in brackets in front of his name."
"They won't bother you. However the Queen will stop by any minute now. Do you wish to see her?"
"Of course. When will she arrive?"
"I am here already Rosemarie."
"Your Majesty, please excuse my inability to bow but I don't think I should leave the bed just yet."
"Bowing is not necessary, Rosemarie. After all, you saved my life and therefore I should bow down in front of you. I would be happy to fulfill any wish you might have."
"There is only one thing I wish for: I wish to leave court as soon as I am well again and I wish to live in the human world and never return. If you could do that for me, I would be very happy."

"YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME!" I heard someone cry out from the doorway. Lissa stood there, breathing heavily, a look of pure fury in her eyes. The nurse entered the room right behind her, apologizing profusely.
"First, you are not welcome here. Second, I do not care what you think about this. Third, get out of this room, Vasilissa!"
"Don't you dare talk to me like that! I'm the last Dragomir princess and you are my guardian along with Dimitri."
"Enough Vasilissa. Rosemarie said that you are not welcome here so I ask you to leave. If you don't do that, my guardians will remove you from here. Do you understand?"
"Yes, your majesty, I do. But Rose, we are not done yet." With that Lissa turned around and left the room.
"Care to tell me what that was all about?"
"I'm sorry, your majesty, but I think, if I tell you this now I will completely break down and I don't think that would be very beneficial for the talk we had started before."
"Of course. I will fulfill your wish but I am sad to let such a great guardian go. Is there any chance that I can change your mind?"
"No. I'm sorry, your majesty. There is nothing that can change my mind. I just want to leave as soon as possible." I answered, smiling sadly. I was relieved that Tatiana would let me leave. I couldn't take the chance of running into Dimitri ever again. Even thinking about him hurt and filled me with both agony and anger. I had to get well – and sooner rather than later.

Tatiana nodded. "I will arrange that you can leave as soon as you want. I will also set up a bank account under your name and fill it up. Before you protest, this is the least I can do. You saved my life after all. And if you could tell me where you would like to go, I could get you an apartment…"

I interrupted her: "I'm sorry, your Majesty, but I am afraid that if I told you where Iwanted to go, I would never have my peace. Vasilissa could compel you into telling her about my whereabouts and I CANNOT take that risk. I will accept the money, but I will take it out of that bank account as soon as I can and put it in one no one but me knows about. As I said, I don't want to found by her, your Majesty. Thank you. You don't have to do any of this but you still do even though you know I won't work as a guardian anymore and even break my oath..."

"It's not breaking your oath if the queen allows it. I am going to set up the bank account and you are going to concentrate on healing properly, okay? I will leave you to it, since I have a lot to do to prepare your departure. See you soon, Rosemarie."

"Thank you, your Majesty."

With that, Tatiana left my room and me with my thoughts. They were filled with Dimitri, even though I didn't want to think about him. Every time his face or even his name popped up in my thoughts, incredible hurt overcame me and I felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest. Slowly tears started making their way down my cheeks, more and more, until there was a steady flow of tears and I could do nothing to stop them. This was how Eddie found me hours later. I was curled into a ball, sobbing, with tears flowing down my face. He immediately came over to me and took me in his arms, trying to console me.
"Shhhhhhhhh Rosie. Everything will be fine. I'm here if you need me, I'm here. Shhh. Don't cry. Please stop crying. Tell me what happened. Maybe I can help make it better. Please Rose, I have never seen you like this before."

I looked up at him and tried to calm down since I could see that my tears were freaking him out.
"Do you remember how I did everything to save Dimitri? First tried to kill him and then asked Liss to turn him back? I did that because I am in love with him. And he wasin love with me, too, before he was a strigoi. But now that he is back, he was so distant and cold and didn't want to see or talk to me. So I cornered him at the church one day and I pushed him and he just told me his love had faded…" I started sobbing again at the memory of that. "And then the whole thing with Tatiana and Tasha happened and when I woke up and called Lissa, she decided she would bring him with her to see me and when I said I didn't want to see him, she got started on how my feelings for him weren't deep and that I was selfish and that made me realize that I didn't want to see her anymore. I asked the Queen to allow me to leave court and never return to any sort of vampire community as a guardian. Once I am healed, I am leaving. I'm sorry Eddie, to leave you behind like that, but I couldn't bear seeing Lissa and Dimitri every day…"

"It's okay Rosie, I understand. But you have to promise me, that you will let yourself heal fully before you leave. I can't let you go before I don't know that your body is at at least 95% of its strength. And you also have to promise me, that we will stay in contact. You don't have to tell me where you are but I need to know you are still alive and kickin', okay?"

"I can do that, I guess. Eddie, I saw Mason. When I was unconscious and battling death, I saw him and talked to him. He says he is sorry for leaving us behind. But he is okay where he is now."

"Glad to hear that. I miss him. It's hard without him here, but it's getting easier every day, isn't it?"

"Yes it is. Listen, Eddie, I am dead tired, but would you mind staying here until I am asleep?"

"Sure, Rosie. I will stay."

"Thank you."

I closed my eyes and drifted into much needed sleep.

I woke up later when I heard a commotion inside my room. I pretended to be asleep and listened to Eddie and Dimitri being in a heated argument.

"What are you doing here, you asshole? Don't you think you have caused her enough hurt without showing your ugly face here?"

"I just wanted to convince myself that she would be fine. This is my entire fault. If I hadn't told her my love had faded, she wouldn't have been there, and therefore not been hurt."

"She doesn't want to see you, the nurse told me you are on her no-visit-list. So I advise you to leave this room right now before my fist makes contact with your face."

"Can you tell her..."

"Leave, NOW!", Eddie growled, making Dimitri – judging by the sound of leaving footsteps – leave my room quickly.

"You can open your eyes now, he is gone."

"How did you know?"

"I have known you since kindergarten, of course I notice something like that. Besides, it is typical for you, eavesdropping."

"Eddie, I have to leave. Tomorrow. I just can't take the chance of him coming here again, possibly even when I am awake. So I need to leave ASAP. I can check into a hospital somewhere else. Or the doctors arrange my transfer to a human hospital. Also I have slept for quite some time and I feel very good."

"Really? Laugh. Hard. I want to see that you are well and since the wound is in your chest, stretching it by laughing is one way to prove it."

"How should I laugh really hard right now? Tell me a good joke."

"MOTHER TO SON:'Come on, you'll be late for school.'
'Shan't,' came the reply from the bedroom.
'Why, what's wrong?'
'The teachers hate me and the kids despise me.'
'I'll give you two good reasons why you should go.'
'What are they?'
'One - you're forty-one, and two - you're the headmaster.'"

I couldn't help myself and started to laugh – hard.
"Haha, Kirova should have felt like that headmaster more often."

"I see, laughter is possible… okay maybe you can be transferred to a different hospital. But PROMISE that you will not discharge yourself before the doctor says it's okay!"

"Why would I do that?"

"Because you are reckless and will do anything to ensure that you cannot be found easily. So do you promise me that you won't do that?"

"Fine. I promise not to discharge myself from the hospital before the doctors allow me to go."

"Thanks. I'll talk to the nurse about transferring you. Where would you like to go?"

"New York City. It's huge and has many hospitals. Also it has three airports and multiple train stations so I can leave the city easily and quickly if I so wish."

"Okay, I'll see what I can do."

Eddie left my room and I enjoyed the moment of quiet I got. I was still dead tired although I slept almost four hours and it was already becoming bright outside, which meant that the moroi day was coming to an end.

"I told you that you CAN'T LEAVE ME!" Lissa screeched as she waltzed into my room at full speed.

"Yes I can and I will. You don't get it, do you? I can't bear to see his face – or from now on yours for that matter – 24/7 for the rest of my life. I will leave court and you won't stop me."

"But you don't want to leave, Rose. You want to stay with me, here, and you also don't have a problem with Dimitri. You will get on with your life, ignoring what the two of you had. Do you understand?" Lissa said with a sickeningly sweet tone. And suddenly I didn't want to leave anymore. I didn't see the point. But then I realized what she was doing.

"I can't believe that you just did that! If I didn't know already that our so called 'friendship' was a scram, I would certainly know it now. Friends don't compel each other. I don't want to see you ever again. EVER! GET OUT!" I screamed at her and pointed to the door. Eddie burst inside, looking shocked and furious. He grabbed Lissa's arm when she didn't move and pulled her out of my room.

I leaned back against the pillows and groaned in frustration. Why would Liss do something like that? I just couldn't believe who my sweet friend had turned into. I just didn't get it. How could she try to compel me? This was a new low, even considering what she had said to me earlier that day.

"Hey… The nurse has arranged for you to be transferred to the Kings County Hospital Center in Brooklyn. You will be brought there tomorrow morning and are to stay there at least for another week. Then you will have spent a total of four weeks in the hospital…"

"FOUR weeks? I have been unconscious for almost three weeks?"

"Yes you have. I have been very worried about you. The Queen wouldn't disclose anything about your location, nobody knew anything and we couldn't find you anywhere. I was shit scared that you died and they just didn't want to tell the public about it. When I got your message today I was extremely relieved. I mean, you are like my little sister and I couldn't bear to lose another sibling right now."

I immediately knew he referred to Mason, so I quickly got out of bed and hugged him close.
"You won't lose me. I can't be killed so easily, you know that."

"Yeah, but this was a pretty close call. So listen to what the doctor says, okay? Please, Rosie."

"I will listen to what the doctor says and as soon as I have a new phone, I will call you."

"Okay, I have to go now, I gotta sleep before my next shift. Take care, Rosie, okay?"

"I will. I love you, Castile."

"Love you too, Hathaway." With that Eddie left my room and I rang the nurse to ask about my belongings and who could pack them up for me.

That day (human time) I was transferred to the hospital in New York, all my belongings stuffed into two suitcases and a box. I stayed there for a week just as the doctors predicted. Everything went down without a hatch and when I was released I was told that I wasn't allowed to fly for at least another week. Luckily I found a cheap motel where I could stay and a flight to Russia that was affordable. While I was waiting for the week to pass I transferred all the money the Queen gave me into a new bank account that I set up under the name Rose Mazur. During my stay at the hospital I had called Abe and he sent me a passport and a driver's license as well as a birth certificate, which stated that I was Rose Mazur, born in Istanbul but currently living in the states. I didn't know the address in the passport but I assumed that it was one of Abe's houses over here. When the week had finally passed I hailed a cab to the airport and boarded my flight to Omsk. It went very smooth and after I landed I got myself a rental and drove to my final destination: Baia. When I arrived there, I knocked on the Belikov's front door and heard the chatter of the girls inside. Olena's voice got louder and she opened the door mere moments later with a smile on her face.

"Roza! It's so good to see you again! What are you doing here? Please, come on in!"

"I am sorry to show up here unannounced, but I had to get away from the court and when I was here the last time I felt so good and happy and I just thought…"

"Nonsense! You are always welcome here! Girls! Look who just arrived!" With that she pulled me into a hug and then inside the house.

"Roza! You are here! That's so awesome!" I was swept into a huge hug by a grinning Sonya. "You have to meet the new addition to our family. Little Dimka is so sweet already!"

"Hey Roza…" I was greeted by a tentative Viktoria. I grinned and just gathered her into a giant hug.

"Thank you for stopping me that day. I talked to Sonya and you were right. I am so sorry." She whispered into my ear and I just hugged her tighter, whispering back:

"It's okay, Vika, I forgive you and you are very welcome."

"Let me see the girl." Yeva ordered from behind Vika and pulled her out of my embrace.

"You have lost some weight, little one, and you look too pale. Something happened, didn't it? Something involving Dimka and Tasha…"

I nodded quietly. Yeva's bony arms pulled me into a warm hug. I looked at the other Belikovs over her shoulder.

"I have to tell you something and I think it's better if you sit down for this."

Once everyone was seated I told them everything. About my quest to kill Dimitri and how that turned into a mission to save him. I didn't spare out the part where he told me that his love had faded and also included the part where I saved Tatiana.

"He's back? My son is back?" Olena whispered.

"Yes, he is. He is a dhampir again. I am sure if you call at court, they will patch you through to him immediately." I said, smiling sadly.

"Oh my goodness, he is back. But he will certainly get a rollocking off me, you can be certain of that. I can't believe he didn't call us and what he did to you is just downright horrible. I will see what time it is in the US and then I will call." She exclaimed scurrying off to do just that.

"I am sorry for what Dimka did to you. But I am glad that you still felt welcome here because you are just that: Welcome." Vika said and snuggled into my side. Karolina gave me a one armed hug as she was holding Zoya in her other arm and said:

"I am going to fix you something to eat and after that I am going to make up Dimka's old room so that you can take a nap. You look exhausted."

"Thank you, I really am dead tired. If you want, I can hold Zoya while you do your thing."

"That would be great, Roza. Thanks!"

I held little Zoya in my arms and smiled down at her, making soft sounds and rocking her gently. After I ate something I went up to Dimitri's old room and shed my clothes before I fell head first on the bed, fast asleep before my head even hit the pillow.

I must have been asleep for a long time because when I opened my eyes I looked straight into the worried eyes of Oksana.
"Oksana!" I cried out happily and hugged her close to me.

"Hello, Rose. We were starting to worry as you've slept for over 24 hours. You even slept through my healing the wound in your chest. I am very glad to see you awake now. You missed a lot of things while you slept. Olena gave Dimitri the worst lecture of his life, even though I am sure it lost a lot of its strength because she spontaneously burst into tears a few times out of happiness to hear her son's voice again. You really did, Rose, you healed him!"

"I didn't. Lissa did. I only watched. I didn't have a part in the saving thing."

"But she wouldn't have attempted it without you, would she?"

"No, why would she have? To her Dimitri was just some low-life dhampir whose purpose it was to protect her. She didn't even blink twice when she heard about his being turned strigoi."

"See, so you did save him after all."

I couldn't say anything to that. It was true in a way.

Suddenly I heard a big commotion from downstairs and in the middle of it all I heard a frantic:
"Where is Roza, Mama?"

Oh no. "He's here?! Why is he here?" I hissed at Oksana and she just smiled.

"He's here for you."

I got dressed in a hurry and then frantically looked for a way out of this room without having to face him. I went to the window but found that it was too high of a jump for me.

"SHIT!" I cursed loudly, becoming more nervous and frantic by the second, especially when I heard heavy footsteps approaching the door. A soft knock sounded through the room and Oksana went to open the door for Dimitri and let herself out at the same time, effectively leaving them alone.

"Hello, Roza…"

"Belikov" My hostility was my last shield not to cry in front of him.

"Look, I am sorry for all the pain I caused you. I would completely understand if you would never want to see me again, but I have to tell you this: I love you. I lied in the church because I felt that I didn't deserve your love because of what I did to you as a strigoi. It was easier to turn to Lissa than to allow myself happiness with you, but I didn't think about the hurt it would cause you. When I heard what happened in Tatiana's chambers I froze, thinking that you would die, thinking that I didn't love you, when that couldn't be further away from the truth. I love you, Roza, with all my heart and with all my soul. I am deeply sorry that I lied to you and I know I can never make that go away, but can you give me, US one more chance? I promise to never lie to you again, to never push you away or even leave you. But I love you so much that I would rather let you walk away from me, knowing that one day you will find happiness with someone else than to force you into a relationship, you probably don't even want." At this point we were both crying.

"All I can say is that I love you and that I will respect whatever choice you make and that I am fully aware that I made the biggest mistake of my life when I lied to you in the church. I am sorry and words cannot express how deeply the sorrow goes that I felt since that day…"

I cut him off with a kiss, desperate to feel his lips on mine, to convince myself that this wasn't a dream, that he really was standing in front of me. I smelled his aftershave and knotted my hands into the hair at the nape of his neck. His arms slipped around my waist and he lifted me up and pulled me close to his body. I felt whole again. For the first time since the attack on 's I felt completely whole again. I pulled back to smile down at him.

"Hi."

"Hey" he smiled back at me. I was blissfully happy at that moment, but I couldn't resist, so I pulled my hand back and slapped him square across the cheek.

"Ouch. I guess I deserved that."

"You, Dimitri Belikov, deserve much worse than that. You are lucky I am so insanely happy right now. I love you, too, by the way." I answered, smirking.

He pulled me close again and pressed his lips on mine. It was a beautiful kiss, full of meaning and a promise, the promise of a lifetime together, inseperable.

A/N: Hey everyone :) Thanks for reading this fanfiction. Please excuse any mistakes, English is sadly not my mother tongue. If there is anything major, tell me and I will take care of it. All the characters except for little baby Dimka belong to Richelle Mead. For now this is a one-shot, but I could write kind of an epilogue. If you would like that you can PM me or just leave a review. I would be glad to receive reviews in general, so tell me what you think!
Again, thanks for reading!

Sarah xx