Written for The Quidditch League Fanfiction Competition.
[Season 7] - Round 3
Team: Chudley Cannons
Position: Chaser 3 - The Nati of Himachal Pradesh; write about a character who makes a friend that makes them peaceful (This can include feeling peaceful or curbing their violent tendencies).
Prompts:
1 (song) Demons - Imagine Dragons
6 (quote) "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt.
12 (object) journal
Thanks to insertcleverandwittytitlehere for betaing.
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It took me forever to figure out where I had heard that quote before until I realized it was from a Barbie movie.
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Dear Journal
I'm staying at Hogwarts for the holidays. We moved again because someone almost guessed my secret. I have to stay here during the holidays because our new flat in London doesn't have a cellar.
I miss the quietness of Wales and all the sheep; London is so busy and it's even harder for me to fall asleep close to the full moon because of all the noise.
Hogwarts is great and all, but I miss mum and dad. I'm afraid to be a disappointment to them. I know what dad said about my kind before my accident, why should his views change?
I'm scared I won't be here much longer.
Anyway, one of my dorm-mates just entered our dorm. Sirius Black is also staying, but neither of his friends are. I wonder why he is then, but I don't have the guts to ask.
I'll talk to you later.
- Remus Lupin
8/12-1972
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Remus glanced over the top of his journal, but Black didn't even bother to look back at him, or else he just didn't see Remus. It happened a lot actually, yet Remus didn't care; he was just relieved that no one noticed him. If they did, they might discover his secret.
After a couple of minutes, their eyes met, and Remus quickly hid behind the journal. He could feel Black's intense glare on him.
"What's that?"
Remus dared a glance and saw Black pointing at his journal; the other boy had never spoken directly to him outside of class before.
"Uhh," his eyes moved down. "Just a book."
"Hmm."
Black let the subject go and sat down on his own bed with his own book. Remus sighed silently in relief.
.:lll:.
He hit it once.
Twice.
His fist slammed the punching bag a third time. It moved with his touch and left his fingers red and sore. Remus aimed at it once more. His vision was blurry. Hands ready. Another punch was thrown forward. The sound echoed through the room of requirement.
Professor Dumbledore had shown him the room not long after he had confided in Madam Pomfrey. It was supposed to be a secret; Remus didn't want anyone to know about it. He hated how the wolf affected him even though it wasn't full moon, but this was the only way he could keep it at bay the rest of the time.
Wolves (especially werewolves) were extremely violent. In both human and wolf form, Remus wanted to rip everything apart and see it shatter to pieces, but his logical part told him he shouldn't do it. After all, he couldn't very well go around and ruin things.
Before Remus told Madam Pomfrey, he used to get it out in the forest, but he was always terrified to do so. Anyone could see him, plus he didn't feel good hurting the poor trees.
At least this new way, Remus didn't hurt anyone or anything while still feeling a little bit human.
Finally, his arms gave up and his legs gave up, and Remus fell to the ground. Small water patterns decorated the floor right under his head; it was a disgusting mixture between sweat, snot and tears. He spat on it. Remus wanted to break more things, but he didn't even have the energy to move.
He exhaled loudly and tried to catch enough air to get it to his lungs. No air came in and Remus tried again. When still none came his eyes filled with tears. Panicking he tried to inhale. He exhaled a couple of times before trying to inhale again.
After a couple of more tries, Remus finally managed to breathe normally again.
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Dear Journal
Black has been acting weird around me. He no longer acts as if he's better than me like he and everyone else usually do, and I don't know how to feel about it.
There's still a couple of weeks until Christmas and I miss mum and dad terrible I wish I could go home. Or whatever I should call our new flat. Christmas at Hogwarts would probably be a lot more fun if I had someone to share it with.
Happy Christmas to you.
- Remus Lupin
10/12-1972
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Black was staring at Remus. Silence filled the air except for the sound of paper ripping and the occasional Reparo. His fists were still sore from his last training, so Remus decided to rip paper instead. The sight and sound of the paper being ripped apart satisfied his ears.
"How are you feeling?"
Remus jumped when Black spoke. He had been aware of the staring but never thought Black would actually talk to him. People didn't usually talk to him unless it was to make him feel bad.
"Good. I guess," he mumbled
"Cool."
Silence filled the room again. His fingers stretched and bent. Remus wanted to rip the paper again, but he was afraid as to what Black had planned, therefore he kept his eyes on the other boy who stared back.
"It makes sense," Black continued after a while. "There's still more than a week until the next full moon."
Coldness overtook his body and Remus unconsciously started shaking. What would he do? Would Black blackmail him or turn him into the ministry? Remus knew very well what the Blacks thought of his kind, they wanted his kind to…
Panic flushed over him.
In the next second, Black was over him.
"How did you trick Dumbledore? Why are you here? Are you a spy for Greyback-"
At the mention of the name Remus saw red, he suddenly rose from his bed and was about to defend himself (with words) but Black took a couple of steps back and Remus hesitated.
"Come on," Black dared. He tried to appear brave, but Remus could practically smell the fear radiating from his dorm-mate.
Remus bit his lips together and clenched his fists. Why was it that it was him who had to control himself when he had the most trouble doing so? He let out a frustrated groan and practically ran out of the room. Remus should stay and beg Black to keep his secret, whatever it took. He couldn't leave Hogwarts, he just couldn't, but he couldn't stay either.
In the Room of Requirement, he would be able to cool off and get his thoughts away from Black. Remus reached the tapestry with Barnabas the Barmy who taught trolls to dance ballet. He walked past it.
I need a place where I can calm down.
I need a place where I can calm down
I need a place where I ca-
Someone (literally) pushed him out of his thoughts. Remus collided with the ground and let out a little whimper, he laid completely still (or at least he tried) and took a deep breath through his nostrils.
Lucius Malfoy and his gang of Slytherins.
"Get up, you weakling," Malfoy ordered. Remus had learnt really quick that it was best to just do as he was told . After all Malfoy was a sixth year while Remus was only a second year. "What are you up to these holidays? Did your parents realize they didn't want you anymore?"
His gang laughed and Remus tensed. He tried to take deep breaths and keep the wolf under control; they only wanted him to lose his temper, that's what they always wanted.
"What's wrong? Is the puny little Gryffindor scared? Do you need a hug from your mama?" Malfoy let out fake wail which caused his gang to laugh again. It wasn't even funny, (they probably only laughed because he forced them to) but it hurt because Remus actually did need a hug, but his mum was always too afraid to give him one.
Tears fell from his eyes as he remembered her. He was a monster, that's why she didn't hug him. He was scared, he was stupid and nothing good could ever happen to him. Remus deserved whatever Black and the ministry would do to him
"Aw, are you a little crybaby?" Malfoy teased.
"Got a problem with that?" someone cut him off. Remus didn't look up, but he knew it was Black.
Malfoy let out a snort of amusement.
"Do you think it's funny, Malfoy?" Black dared, his face fierce and serious, but then a smirk overtook. "I got one more! You all leave my friend alone," he turned to the gang, "and did you know that Lucius sleeps with a pi-"
"Fine!" Malfoy cut him off with a panicked look in his eyes. He ordered his gang to leave and soon enough there was only Black and Remus left in the corridor.
"Are you alright?" Black asked with much more concern than Remus had ever heard him use towards his friends.
He nodded. "I deserve it anyway-"
"No, you don't!" Black's eyes were suddenly fierce again. "You don't deserve to be treated that way - even if you had done something!"
Remus couldn't remove his eyes from the floor.
"They make me feel so stupid and small" he mumbled.
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent," Black stated calmly.
"But I am inferior, I'm… you know what I am."
And if Black knew, why was he being so nice to Remus?
"I know you're a Gryffindor, I know you're totally awesome and super smart," Black smiled. There was something about that smile and the scent coming from him that made Remus relax. "I know about you, and I don't care; I won't tell anyone."
Remus didn't want to be hopeful, but he couldn't help it. Sirius was being so nice to him, and the scent told him that he wasn't lying.
"Thank you."
Sirius quickly swung both his arms around Remus who clung onto the first hug he had gotten since he was five.
.:lll:.
Dear Journal
I still can't believe Sirius wants to be my friend even when he discovered my secret. It surprises me how nice he is towards me and how calm he makes me - I haven't needed to punch the punching bag since he decided to be my friend.
I never thought it would be so amazing, but I was right about one thing; Christmas at Hogwarts is much better with a friend.
Sirius promised he would introduce me to his other friends (James Potter and Peter Pettigrew). When I told him I was scared they wouldn't like me, he assured me that they would, and even if they didn't, he would still spend just as much time with me as with them.
He says friends talk to each other when they feel down, so I probably won't need you anymore. Don't feel bad about it, you have helped a lot these past years, and I think I'm ready to let go.
Goodbye (maybe forever)
- Remus Lupin
25/12-1972
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Word count: 1812
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A/N
I wanted to make this more wolfstar, but the prompt said friend, so I decided against it. BUT I'm not ready to leave this just yet, so when I get the time, I want to write a few extra chapters where they get together.