A/N: This is a collection of some of the strangest ships within the walls of the CSI lab. I will admit that it is a rather twisted creation...rather twisted and let's face it rather unplausable but those of you with a sense of humour as sick as mine might just get a kick out of it. If you're not into crazy/unbelieveable/same sex ships then i would not advise reading this.

Thanks to: I want to thank UnalovesU2 over at for sharing my crazy vision and not having me commited

I hope you all enjoy

She breezed past his lab like a fresh summer wind, her dark her flowing behind her as she moved. She had the face of an angel but he was more than willing to bet that behind those chocolate brown eyes was the twisted mind of a devil.

'A devil woman! Yeah, that's what she is! The way she tempts me and teases me!' She was fiery and fearless; she spoke to him in a way that none of the other lab rats would ever dare to. She infuriates him. He loathes her. She intrigues him. He craves her!

Ever since their last confrontation over the miniature killer fiasco he hasn't been able to stop thinking about her. It was consuming him. 'Look at the way she walks around, like she owns the place!' He'd swore to himself a long time ago that he was done with women, he'd been burnt a few times too many but still he couldn't help but be entirely fascinated with that feisty DNA technician Wendy Simms.

But he wasn't going to just sit about watching her from afar and teasing her whenever she did speak to him; no, that was the old Hodges. This new Hodges wasn't afraid of being rejected by this woman because he wasn't going to be rejected. The new Hodges was smooth and suave; the new Hodges was the man who found the newest break in the miniature killer case. And the new Hodges was going to ask Wendy out for a drink after work.

He repeated his motivational speech to himself as he walked through the lab with purposeful strides. Approaching her DNA lab, however, he was stopped in his tracks by the sight of her as she walked out the door. 'Come on now Hodges! Be a man!' Shaking off his fear he followed her as she made her way to the locker room. This was perfect, she'd be cornered.

He waited a few minutes outside the door before he entered with a definite swagger in his step.

"Hey Hodges." She hardly even looked up from her locker as she buttoned her clean blouse. Her bare abdomen being somewhat revealed to him caused him to be momentarily distracted from his cause.

"Simms!" He greeted her shortly out of habit before correcting himself. "Wendy." He even smiled. It was kind of creeping her out actually.

"Something up?" She asked him after he'd been staring at her for a few minutes, not saying a word, just that weird smile on his face.

"Up? No!" He shook his head, trying his hardest to look cool although it seemed his efforts were in vain. Why wasn't it working for him? He'd seen Nick do it a thousand times, it didn't seem that hard. Shaking himself from his thoughts he returned to the task at hand, clearing his throat he spat out the question before it escaped him again. "I was just wondering... if maybe you would care to join me for a drink after shift?"

There he'd said it!

"Oh!" Was he asking her out? Now? After she'd spent countless months waiting for him to get the hint and ask her out, he waited until she had given up and moved on to ask her out. She had moved on; really she really thought she had, but now she couldn't help but wish that she could go. Just to see what might be or what might have been, if she hadn't moved on. She frowned and sighed.

'That's not a good sign!' Hodges braced himself. His face had already fallen as he anticipated the rejection. For a moment she almost considered cancelling her plans; but she couldn't do that.

"I'd love to Hodges. Believe me I'd really love to, it's just...I kind of already have plans for tonight!" She explained disheartened.

Well it wasn't a complete rejection; he'd take it. He smiled at her again, a less creepy smile this time. "Some other time then?" He asked.

"Definitely!" She replied, hoping there would be a next time; it had taken him this long to ask her out once God knows how long it'll take for it to happen again. "I really am sorry David!" She reached up and stroked his cheek.

'She called me David!' He smiled inside.

As the shared that small moment of intimacy in the middle of the locker room, neither of them noticed the door opening and another person entering the room. When they did notice Wendy quickly removed her hand from Hodges' face as Mandy walked towards them. 'Does she look jealous?' Hodges thought to himself, his ego celebrating the fact that now Mandy wanted a piece of him as well. His ego was quickly stunned into silence when the somewhat jealous looking Mandy walked over and planted a possessive kiss on Wendy's cheek.

"You ready to go?" She asked, eyeing Hodges suspiciously as his jaw dropped to the floor.

"Yeah!" Wendy lifted her bag and closed her locker door while Mandy waited for her.

"We can talk later Hodges?" She asked, giving him puppy dog eyes. He couldn't resist.

"Yeah sure." He forced another smile as he watched the two women leave. 'Devil woman!' He cursed her under her breath for making him feel this way. His evening was now empty and he was angry as well. He kicked himself for not asking her out sooner. He'd been a coward and now he had missed his chance with Wendy, and he's lost out to Mandy of all people!

He shook his head as he stormed out of the locker room. He knew exactly where he was going although he wasn't entirely sure why he was going there or what he thought would happen when he got there. Because as solemnly as he had sworn off women, he had made an even strong, bigger vow never to go back down this road again.