A/N I couldn't get this idea out of my head today so I figured I would put it in a story. It was going to be a one shot but I'm going to turn it into two. In this story Lexa didn't betray Clarke on the mountain but she did decide that she didn't have time for a relationship. She kind of blew Clarke off for her duties now that they are in times of peace and have to rebuild. Kind of a spin on her head over heart routine. And there's a beautiful OC.
It had been 2 months since the Sky People and the Grounders had taken down the mountain. All seemed to be right in the world. To Clarke's surprise there was a large number of volunteers to donate bone marrow to the innocent mountain people, the children and the people who helped the 100. Abby had successfully performed the bone marrow transplants and they were living safely in Camp Jaha. The grounders weren't very happy about it but they knew that it was important to the Sky people and it wasn't worth a fight after such a big battle. Jasper was thrilled to have Mya with him.
Clarke would never forget how the mountain people reacted when they first walked out of the mountain. She knew that feeling well, there's nothing like experiencing Earth for the first time. The smell or fresh air, the sounds of nature, it was so beautiful, and something that can only truly be understood by being there. Pictures and movies just don't do it justice.
Lincoln had been accepted right away. Him and Octavia were both working in the guard, leading hunting parties and protecting the border. After the war Abby had realized how much she didn't want to be a leader and had taken her position as full time doctor back. She left it to Clarke, Bellamy, and Kane. They were an excellent working team. Clarke had the strength, Kane had the experience, and Bellamy had the authority.
Octavia had even pulled Clarke away on a hunting trip to explain to her that she understood her decision and that she was sorry about how she treated her. She knew that it couldn't have been an easy decision to make. The mountain men would have found her brother and launched the missile anyways, and who knows how many other they had. It was good to get her friend back, and even better to have someone tell her that she made the right choice. It had been eating her up for some time.
It would appear that everything was in a good place, everyone was happy. The grounders and Sky people still had their alliance. Sometimes the grounders would bring extra food and sometimes the sky people would help them out with things that they didn't understand. Everything was going well.
Except Clarke was pissed. Like white hot pissed. Clarke had told Lexa she was ready. She had pulled her into her tent after the battle and told her that she was ready and she cared about her. Lexa had then proceeded to give her this bullshit speech about how a relationship wouldn't work out. How her people needed her undivided attention right now. She would have to help rebuild, and visit the villages and deliver their people back to them from the mountain. She had told her that she had to lead with her head and not her heart so they couldn't be together.
It had been two months since Lexa had rode off after a simple "may we meet again." She hadn't heard a word from her or about her. And she was pissed.
There was however a bit of a happy distraction in the form of Graham, one of the 100 who came out of the mountain. They hadn't really ever talked before although she knew her from the time before her lock up on the Ark. Graham had been arrested shortly before Clarke for stealing extra rations for her sick mother. She had been broken hearted to find out that her mother had passed shortly after they were sent to the ground.
It had started when Graham had shown an interest in studying medicine under Abby so she could help in the sick bay. She knew the winter was coming and that they would probably have a hard time getting through it since their bodies had never experienced weather before. Clarke also spent a lot of time with her mother helping out and learning as well.
Abby had forgiven her and told her close to the same thing Octavia had told her. She had just had such a hard time seeing her daughter grow up and have to make such decisions. She had admitted that it was the right decision, but that in Clarke's shoes she might not have been able to make it. She was proud of the strength in her daughter. But as her mother, she didn't want her to have to be that strong. She didn't want her to have to live with the decisions she had made. And that is why she had reacted the way she had. But things between them had never been better.
Graham was beautiful, there was no one that could miss that. She had long hair so black that it had a bluish tent to it. Her skin was fair and perfect, like porcelain. She had beautiful hazel eyes that seemed to change in shade with her moods. They would get so bright when she was excited or talking about something she was passionate about. Clarke was sure she could get lose in those eyes if she let herself. She was physically attracted, that much couldn't be helped. But her heart wasn't there.
She knew that Graham was interested, she had told her as much about 2 weeks ago. They had only been spending time together for a few weeks at that time, but who was she to judge how fast someone developed feelings? Her and Lexa had only known each other for a matter of days. And she had some strong feelings for her. As irritating as that fact was right now. Clarke had told her that she just needed some time to sort out her feelings.
Graham had known about the commander and Clarke. Everyone suspected, but when Graham asked her about it she didn't lie. She had told her everything one night before Graham had told her about her feelings. They had stayed up late in the medical bay that night watching a child with a high fever letting Abby get some rest. It had felt so good to talk about it. She couldn't say much to the others because they were in happy relationships and she didn't need their pity.
She knows she should be sleeping right now, she was due for a meeting about the coming winter early in the morning. But she couldn't make her mind shut down enough for sleep to take her. She was worried about a lot of things. Mostly the cold season that was making its presence known more and more each day. The nights were getting longer and the daylight hours shorter. As soon as the sun goes down there's a chill in the air.
Raven and Wick had been working on some solar panels that had survived the crash to earth and were trying to figure out a way to use them to power heat in the ark. Bellamy and the other men were working day in and day out to try and reinforce the ark and weather proof it. Some of the men had talked about building houses and huts instead of using the Ark. They wouldn't have time to get it done this season but maybe after the winter passes they can start building. Everyone was optimistic about the future. Everyone but Clarke.
She had known nothing but conflict since she fell to the ground. She didn't trust this peace, though she had no real reason not to. Maybe it was just her way of not letting herself get too comfortable. She has the mindset of hope for the best but prepare for the worst. She really needs to get some sleep. Maybe count mutant sheep or something.
She wakes up to a knock at her door after what feels like minutes of sleep.
"Get up sleepy head! The sky's awake!" Came Graham's way too cheery voice from the other side of the door. Clarke will never understand that girl's love of mornings. But it does always end up putting her in a slightly better mood. Graham is better than Coffee.
"Go away." Her voice was muffled by the pillow she had buried her face into. She heard the door opening and knew she was about to be disrupted none too kindly.
"I tried being polite Goldie Locks, times up!" She dove on the bed and right on top of Clarke.
Oomf was the very unattractive sound that came out of Clarke. She felt like the wind had been knocked out of her. The younger girl was very thin but had managed to land just right on Clarke's back.
She shoved her off of her and sat up looking slightly murderous. "I'm up." She deadpanned. "Get out so I can get dressed."
"See you at breakfast grumpy pants!" Graham was still giggling as she shut the door behind her.
Clarke liked the girl, she really did, but sometimes she got on her nerves something fierce. Her irritation faded as she got dressed and she even gave her a smile as she walked to the table she was sitting at. "What's on the menu today, Sunshine?" She looked at the brown mushy substance in the bowl suspiciously.
"Oatmeal! Lincoln and Octavia found some wheat growing in a field nearby! It's kind of plain, but Lincoln says that the grounders eat it with this stuff they make called honey and that he would see about trading for some for us. He said he can even have someone come teach the cooks how to use the wheat to make bread. BREAD! I've never had bread!" She could barely contain her excitement.
"It is too early for you to be this happy." Clarke couldn't help but smile at her anyways, her good moods were rather infectious. "Are you sure you don't want to go to this meeting for me and let me go back to sleep?" She pleaded with her eyes, even knowing it wasn't something that could actually be done.
"Nope Skai Prisa, duty calls. But I'll be in the medical bay when you're done, you can come keep me company." She looked so hopeful that it made Clarke's heart clench. She noticed in the back of her mind that she had used the name that the grounders had started using for her.
"Definitely, I'll be there as soon as I can make a mad dash from the meeting room." She said with as sincere of smile as she could manage.
Graham beamed in return and said her goodbyes so she could get to work. Clarke didn't know what was wrong with her. Graham is a beautiful, intelligent, kind and caring girl. Lexa clearly wasn't worried about Clarke so why was she still worried about her? She needed to move on and she has a great girl right in front of her waiting on her patiently. It's time to let the Commander go. She made her message loud and clear, a relationship with her wasn't possible.
The meeting had dragged on, it was the same thing they had been talking about for weeks. The grounders had given them a lot of blankets but it wasn't going to be enough if they couldn't get a source of heat in the ark. Kane, Clarke, Bellamy, Wick, Raven, Octavia and Lincoln were all present. Bellamy was giving updates on the weather proofing and repairs being made to the ark. Raven and Wick were updating them on the progress with the solar panels and getting them to work with whatever systems were still intact after the drop to the ground. Octavia and Lincoln were talking about how much meat they had stored and the progress of the garden that the grounders had helped them start. Everything should be ready to pick soon and prepare for the winter.
She couldn't get out of there fast enough, the meeting just made her worrying worse. It didn't help ease her mind like it should because none of them could tell her what she wanted to hear. Bellamy and the men weren't done. Raven and Wick hadn't figured it out yet. There was enough food but not enough blankets and clothes. It just all made her worry.
She was on her way to the medical bay to ask Graham if they could take a break and go talk somewhere when she heard the commotion at the entrance to camp. She could hear a little bit of what was being said. She gathered that grounders were approaching. Then she heard something that froze the blood in her veins momentarily. Commander.
Without thinking she took off for her room. She wasn't ready to see her again. She wasn't ready to speak to her again. She was mad, and hurt, and she didn't want to see her. She would camp out in her room until she concluded whatever business brought her here and then she would leave again. She's good at leaving.
Her self-imposed solitude lasted all of about 20 minutes and she heard a knock on her door.
"Goldie Locks?" She sounded nervous, shy almost. "Can I come in?"
Clarke felt her heart restart in relief that it wasn't the commander at her door. She got up and opened it for her. She had been so ready just half an hour ago to tell her that she was interested too and that they should give it a shot. Now she wasn't so sure. The pain that she had felt just knowing that the Commander is here let her know that she was far from over her feelings for Lexa.
"What's up snow white? Sorry I didn't come see you, I just wanted to lie down for a while." She tried to make the lie sound convincing.
"Cut the shit, Griffin." She crossed her arms over her chest. "Did you really think I wouldn't know that she's here?" She scoffed. "Your mom sent me to find you, she figured you wouldn't be too thrilled about this."
Abby had also known the depth of Clarke's feelings for Lexa, and about the rejection.
"It's been two months Graham, why is she here? I'm not ready to see her. I thought I was ready to move on. I thought I was ready for…" She couldn't even finish. She shouldn't give the girl hope. She shouldn't even tell her that she was about to give her a chance. Because now she knew for sure that she wasn't ready.
"Hey, it's okay Clarke. No one can just shut their feelings off. Not even her. I wasn't going to say anything, but she was looking for you." Clarke could hear the pain in her voice. "I ran into Octavia on the way to your room and she told me that the first thing the Commander had done was ask about you." Her voice got quieter as she spoke.
Clarke knew that her heart was breaking in front of her. She knew that Graham was thinking that any chance she had was gone now that the Commander was back. She knew because it's how she had felt when Raven arrived on Earth. She also knew that like that situation it couldn't be helped. She didn't ask to fall for Lexa, she didn't ask for Graham to fall for her. She didn't want any of this to happen. She didn't want to be hurt, and she didn't want to hurt this sweet, beautiful girl now sitting next to her.
"I need you Graham." It was the truth. "I need you to stay with me, especially while she's here. You're my best friend and I need you." She didn't want to make the girls pain worse, but she did need her.
"I'll be with you Clarke, I won't leave your side." She felt a warm hand over hers. She turned her hand over and threaded their fingers together. She loves Graham, she just wished it was in the way that Graham loves her.
There was another small knock on the door and Abby peaked her head inside. "Clarke? We're going to need you in a meeting." She walked in and sat beside the girls on Clarke's bed. "I'm so sorry sweetheart, I wish you didn't have to see her, but we need you. She isn't wanting to talk until you're there."
Clarke felt Graham stiffen at the last part. "I'll come if Graham can sit in. If not she can just kiss my ass and deal with it."
"It's your meeting honey, take whoever you like. I'll see you there." Her mother gave her shoulder a reassuring squeeze and her forehead a light kiss before she left the room.
Clarke looked at Graham to see her staring at her with an unsure look in her eyes. "Ready sunshine?"
"Not particularly, no. But lead the way Princess." She swept her hand out to say after you.
Clarke had a vice grip on Graham's hand as they entered the meeting room. Lexa instantly looked up and as soon as she saw that the Sky Prisa wasn't alone and that her hand was in someone else's she gave new meaning to if looks could kill. Everyone noticed the change in the commander's mood and looked to the door where she was shooting her murderous glare.
Kane cleared his throat, clearly uncomfortable. "Uh, Graham, shouldn't you be in medic.."
"She stays. State your business and be done with it. I don't wish to sit through another meeting today." Clarke's voice cut through the room like ice. She even felt Graham shudder a little next to her.
Lexa looked for a moment like she had been slapped across the face. She had never seen Clarke this cold before and it took her off guard. She composed herself quickly and put her careful mask back in place.
"I have brought supplies for the winter. We all are in your debt for the help in the fall of the mountain. I have brought enough blankets for everyone here and some extra clothes and boots. I have been picking things up at the trading posts of every village we have visited. It should help you all make it safely through the winter. We will also be willing to assist you with food if needed." Lexa didn't expect a huge outpour of praise and thanks from the sky people but she didn't expect what she got from Clarke.
"Thank you Commander for the supplies. My people will be very grateful. However, we will have plenty of food. We already have enough to last the winter stored up and if we have to we can hunt ourselves when we get low. We also have crops. They should be ready any day now and that will get us through." She kept her tone icy and short. She didn't want any help from the commander more than was absolutely necessary.
She was beyond grateful for the blankets and clothes, it was one less thing for her to worry about. But unless Lexa was going to fix the solar panels and weather proof the Ark there was nothing else that she could give Clarke.
"If that's all I'll be leaving now. Thank you again for the help Commander and I hope you have safe travels to wherever you're going next." With that she stood up and walked out of the room with Graham still in tow. She left every person in the room in shock at her behavior. It wasn't very leader like of her. It probably could be seen as immature. But she had to get out of there.
She hadn't made it halfway to her room when she heard the voice of a seething Commander calling her name. She could keep walking and anger her further but that would cause more trouble than it was worth. She stopped and turned around to see the usually composed leader stomping furiously in her direction.
"What the hell is wrong with you? We weren't finished Clarke! You can't just walk out on me like that!" Lexa is pissed.
"Oh can't I? Or is that just something reserved for you. Are you the only one allowed to walk away Commander? I was done with the meeting, I don't really care if you were or not. Handle your business with Kane and Bellamy, I'm done." Clarke's emotions were warring inside her. One side of her was a hurt 18 year old girl and the other side was absolutely livid.
How dare her come back and think that they would be okay. Clarke thanked her for the supplies, she can handle everything else with the other council members.
Lexa was having none of it, as soon as Clarke turned to leave she grabbed her arm and jerked her around. This proved to be a mistake because as Clarke was whirled around her arm came around just as fast and connected with Lexa's jaw. Before Graham even had time to process the first hit the two leaders were in a full on brawl on the ground. It took about 45 seconds for Lexa to come out on top pinning Clarke's hands to her chest to keep the angry girl from swinging again.
Clarke shoved with all of the power she could summon and got the Commander off of her. She got to her feet and stormed off grabbing Graham's hand along the way and dragging her with her. Lexa didn't follow.