This is another short one, probably 3 chapters. Thanks to everyone for the lovely response and review to my other post, I haven't written in some years since livejournal so I'm easing myself back into it. Anything in italics is excerpts from the book A Gathering Light by Jennifer Donnelly, disclaimer none of these characters are mine. Please let me know if there is anything you particularly want to read in the Jax/Tara pairing that you haven't found. Also any constructive criticism is always welcome, I have a tendency to ramble... With that onto the fic.

A Gathering Light

'And then he put his arms around me and held me to him as best he could in a rowboat, and it felt so good.' He always looked so calm when he was reading to her. She gave her whole weight of her head and some of her shoulders to his lap, letting her face loll slightly towards his torso. Jax continued with an ease she wasn't expecting the first time they had done this. He always spoke of how he barely got his education but to her he was so eloquent, well, when he wanted to be. A lot of the time he used broken English, it doesn't serve an outlaw biker to be well read she supposed. He held the book in one strong positioned hand, the other he let lay with hers, calloused fingers entwined and his thumb gently stroking hers as if to say he hadn't forgotten her in his enthusiasm for the book. She couldn't remember when they had both felt so completely relaxed. His jaw wasn't clenched, his eyes weren't full of fury or worry. It was one of those so rare, and too soon gone, moments of complete euphoria.

' No one had so much as hugged me since my mamma died. I wished I had the words to describe how I felt.' Jax continued. Tara gazed up at the man she had been without for 10 years and she wasn't quite sure how they had managed it. Jax wasn't just her first love, her kiss and her first time. He was her other half, her soul mate. Her eyes danced over the pale perfect skin of the man above her, appreciating the little changes since they had first met, a few lines here and there, his beard was definitely fuller. She had completely lost track of where they were in the book, but just observing him in such intimate detail was all she wanted.

Sometimes she felt scared to love him this much, when he would come home smeared in someone else's blood. To anyone that would be enough to make them leave. But Jax was her protector, he had removed Kohn. That had flicked a switch in both of them. As if the blood spilt that night had created a bond between them. They lay with the secret of his murder every night, it lingered in her air like the ghost of who they could have been before all this mess. They had both justified his demise with the knowledge that if he wasn't killed he would have killed Tara, and while that was true she was sure that it had instilled a viciousness in Jax.

Tara had always thought herself a practical woman, sometimes too rational. So focused was she on the minutia that she often lost the beauty of a moment. That must come along with being a surgeon, the details where everything to her. She could never stop looking at the absurd picture of the two of them, doctor and biker. The reality of their future became all too real to her the night she was called to the clubhouse to save Cameron. Unless he left the life, which she would never ask him to do, this is what she could expect more of. Illegally operating on criminals in dark alcohol stained rooms.

The way the blonde man made her feel was somehow worth it all. His presence silenced the rolodex of doubt in her head. Jax was enduring, at least on the surface. She wasn't naive enough to believe that he shared his every worry and concern with her. But the stoicism he carried with him daily was another thing that she worshiped him for. Her rational brain told her to see it as sinister. What balanced person could spend their day hunting and killing other men? Granted not without cause. This was always Jax's destiny.

'My word of the day, augur,which means to foretell things from omens, had nothing to do with it as far as I could see. I felt warm in his arms. Warm and hungry and blind' Tara brought his hand in hers to her face and kissed it. Almost immediately Jax did the same. His soft focus was broken and he looked her dead in the eye.

'You ok babe?' he furrowed his brow slightly.

'Perfect' she replied sitting up and into his lap where she placed a purposeful kiss on his lips. He let his hands wrap around her waist and let settle on her lower back. They withdrew and rested their foreheads against each others.

'What do you want to do today? Clay doesn't need me' her head was filled with ideas.

'Anything I want?' looking at him with a slight seriousness she shifted in his lap. His face was curious, she was rarely this scheming.

'Yea, anything' his hand came to rest gently on her ass predicting where her mind might be going.

'Ok' she stood quickly. Tara started to walk across the room and in one swift movement her tank top was removed. Her hair fell softly around her shoulder as she turned to give her man a show.

'One rule, your not allowed to move from the sofa' she quickly looked through her ipod to pick something with a good tempo.

'What are you doing?' Jax immediately cursed himself in his head, why would he question this? Just let it happen and enjoy.

'You have to spend so much time at the studio, I'm going to give you your own personal show. Oh also film this and you lose your balls Teller'

He smirked, 'Never without you permission' but he was definitely going to try and talk her into it later.

The music started.