Title: Late night thoughts
Summery: Olivia lies in bed thinking about a man and her life.
Disclaimer: If I owned it you think I'd be writing fanfiction?
A/N: It's my first fanfic but plz criticize if ya need to!
Late night thoughts
Just when you think you have it all figured out, destiny does something to confuse you all over again. If you ask me, I say it's just a load of crap, that might be why you didn't ask and you probably never will. In my experience, fate is like the devil. It never likes to see you happy. When everything seems perfect, something it bound to go wrong. I sit down and wait for the inevitable to happen. Yet, when it eventually does, I'm always disappointed or sad or just plain old pissed off because it happened and happened to me! I don't get it. It sux. Life sux. Fate and destiny suck. I need to vent my anger. I would normally go to the gym but I know that HE will most likely be there. I can't face him. Not now, not ever! I never meant to say those things. It's just he pissed me off so badly. Telling me who to date and who not to date. I don't go out telling him that Kathy won't ever understand or that she'll always be the way she is.
I love him. Plain and simple. I just will never be able to tell him. I won't be the reason his marriage failed. I don't want to have my feelings chucked back at me. Just once I'd like to tell him how I feel only to hear him tell me he loves me. But I know that will never happen. I guess that's why it's called a dream not reality.
We fight. Of course we fight, everyone does. Even the most stable 'relationship' has faults. All you have to do is look deep between the lines and there are the faults for you to read. I wish people will stop reading the faults in our 'relationship'.
Life couldn't get any worse at this moment. Yeah, yeah, I know 'famous last words' but I'm serious. My life is a failure. Ask anyone. My rapist father, who I doubt knows I exist, my alcoholic mother, my school teachers, all the rapists I put away.
I know my mum hates me. I can see it in her eyes, the hatred right there for anyone to see. Just because she tries not to be obvious but I still know. The eyes are the windows to the soul, that's if she has one. She may have passed away and everything but.all the things she said when she thought I wasn't there or was asleep still haunts me. Makes me feel guilty. I wish it would stop.
I look up. Someone's at the door. I get off my bed and wipe the tears that have been falling like the rain outside. I try and make myself look respectable.
I open the door and there stands the centre of my troubles. Elliot. Soaked. Looking as though he was about to give up and leave.
"We need to talk."
I open the door wider and let him in. I just hope we work through this. That we come out stronger than ever.
Late night thoughts
Just when you think you have it all figured out, destiny does something to confuse you all over again. If you ask me, I say it's just a load of crap, that might be why you didn't ask and you probably never will. In my experience, fate is like the devil. It never likes to see you happy. When everything seems perfect, something it bound to go wrong. I sit down and wait for the inevitable to happen. Yet, when it eventually does, I'm always disappointed or sad or just plain old pissed off because it happened and happened to me! I don't get it. It sux. Life sux. Fate and destiny suck. I need to vent my anger. I would normally go to the gym but I know that HE will most likely be there. I can't face him. Not now, not ever! I never meant to say those things. It's just he pissed me off so badly. Telling me who to date and who not to date. I don't go out telling him that Kathy won't ever understand or that she'll always be the way she is.
I love him. Plain and simple. I just will never be able to tell him. I won't be the reason his marriage failed. I don't want to have my feelings chucked back at me. Just once I'd like to tell him how I feel only to hear him tell me he loves me. But I know that will never happen. I guess that's why it's called a dream not reality.
We fight. Of course we fight, everyone does. Even the most stable 'relationship' has faults. All you have to do is look deep between the lines and there are the faults for you to read. I wish people will stop reading the faults in our 'relationship'.
Life couldn't get any worse at this moment. Yeah, yeah, I know 'famous last words' but I'm serious. My life is a failure. Ask anyone. My rapist father, who I doubt knows I exist, my alcoholic mother, my school teachers, all the rapists I put away.
I know my mum hates me. I can see it in her eyes, the hatred right there for anyone to see. Just because she tries not to be obvious but I still know. The eyes are the windows to the soul, that's if she has one. She may have passed away and everything but.all the things she said when she thought I wasn't there or was asleep still haunts me. Makes me feel guilty. I wish it would stop.
I look up. Someone's at the door. I get off my bed and wipe the tears that have been falling like the rain outside. I try and make myself look respectable.
I open the door and there stands the centre of my troubles. Elliot. Soaked. Looking as though he was about to give up and leave.
"We need to talk."
I open the door wider and let him in. I just hope we work through this. That we come out stronger than ever.