Author's note: That happens if I can't find any sleep at night. LOL I came up with the idea to this FF since I had hinted in Changes that Storm was secretly in love with Logan. So, I started writing and here it is. Hope you guys like it and please review!!

Love and Pain lie close together

6 months had passed since the incidents on Alcatraz and normality was slowly returning to Xavier's school for gifted youngsters. Being the new headmistress, Ororo had some trouble first to get used to her new position and tasks in the school, but with Hank's help and Logan's, after this one had grieved for weeks and even disappeared to return to Canada for three weeks, she was finally getting used to it. Also the older students, like Bobby, Peter, Kitty and Rogue did their best in supporting her as good as they could.

Ororo was also proud that she'd been able to talk Logan into training the X-Men and that by now he was nearly enjoying his task. It had hurt her badly after she'd seen him with Jean's dead body cradled in his arms. It had had such a great impact on him that he hadn't even taken part in the funeral. Instead he'd been strolling around at night and sat next to the gravestone until a new morning arrived. Sometimes she'd joined him and had just sat next to him without saying anything at all. She'd never forget the shock he'd given her when she'd knocked on his room door one day, just to realize that he was gone. It had broken her heart since she'd believed that she'd never see him again. She couldn't even imagine it. By now she was too used to his presence, to him helping her or being there for her when she didn't know how to go on. She couldn't imagine anymore to not having him close by.

Ororo stood at the window in his room and looked out; ignoring that the room was a mess once more. The sky had already darkened and the first stars could be seen. Next to them, the moon that spread its soft light in the garden and over the mansion. She couldn't tell why she was waiting for him at all, but her heart skipped a beat when she saw him coming out of the wood and towards the mansion. The woman smiled softly by the sight of him. She knew they'd grown closer in the past months. She also couldn't deny it that she felt a lot more for him than she showed openly to him or others. But the last night, when she'd been unable to sleep once more and had the time to think, had helped her to find an answer. Ororo wrapped her arms around herself while she waited and heaved a deep breath. She'd always felt attracted to him in some way. First she hadn't realized it, but after he'd left for Alkali Lake to find out about his past, she'd noticed that she'd missed him a lot. The more she'd waited and hoped for him to come back, the happier she'd been after he'd stepped through the front door again. She smiled as she remembered that she'd even ran down the corridor after she'd heard the Harley on the outside. But the happier she'd been, the more it had hurt her to see that he'd completely forgotten about her as soon as a particular redhead had said "Hi Logan!" from the staircase.

Not that Ororo hadn't been aware of his attraction to Jean… He'd made clear enough that he'd loved her no matter if she'd been spoken for. But still, she couldn't forget the feeling when her heart had contracted painfully in her chest. She was never lucky with men. Not as Jean. She'd always envied the redhead about that. Jean entered a room and Ororo was practically invisible. It still angered her that her former best friend, who'd taken away the man that had been like a father for her and the man that had been her brother for years, had practically played with Logan's attraction to her. She'd seen him kissing her at the Blackbird back then, had taken notice of his hurt look after she'd pulled away and had left him standing there like a dog in the rain. Ororo couldn't understand how Jean could stick with Scott when she could have someone like Logan instead…

Startling as the door opened behind her and woke her from her daydreams, Ororo turned around and heard the door closing again. "What are you doin' here?" a deep and gruff voice asked her surprised and he stepped into the soft light of the moon; causing her heart to skip a beat again. "Somethin' wrong?" he asked concerned and buried his hands into his jeans pockets.

"No," she replied smiling and met his dark eyes that appeared to be rather black than hazel right now.

Nodding, Logan went over to a stool and put his leather jacket over it. "Don't like the view you have out of your room then?"

Noticing that he referred to her still standing at his window, she blushed slightly but managed a smile. "No, it's just…," she began and her heart was nearly breaking her chest when he stopped in front of her again, a concerned look mirrored on his face.

"What?"

Not knowing what to say, Ororo couldn't take her eyes of him and noticed that her breathing became harder. "I just…," she stuttered again when he chuckled and came even closer.

"Lost your ability to speak?" he asked when she suddenly wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. Being surprised first, Logan remained frozen on the spot, but suddenly began to kiss her back. He pulled her closer and deepened the kiss, pushed his tongue into her mouth to caress her lips and tongue, while she moaned softly. His senses immediately kicked into high gear, focused instantly on her and the rapid changes in her body. He'd never smelled another man on her, he himself hadn't even touched a woman at all during his time at the mansion. Except one…, he recalled briefly.

Enjoying what his lips and tongue already did to her, Ororo pulled his red flannel shirt over his broad shoulders and let her shaking fingers slip under his wife-beater. She gasped a she touched his strong muscles for the first time, letting out another moan when he bit softly into her neck and cupped one of her breasts. With her eyes closed she began to unzip his jeans; her shirt and bra already forgotten in a corner when her hand had reached into his jeans. Her eyes grew wide in surprise because of what she could feel. The tight fitting jeans he always wore, hadn't fooled her about its content at all. Nevertheless, it only made her more nervous. While she laid down on his bed, arching her back briefly when her heated skin touched the cold sheets, he began to kiss his way downwards. Teasing her breasts and navel on his way before he made her arch up once more; a loud moan left her mouth in pleasure. "God, Logan…," Ororo gasped and began to pant while her tension began to build up constantly by what he was doing to her. Her hand reached out, one entwined in his thick dark hair, the other stroking down his back as he evaded her mouth hungrily again. She kissed him back passionately, fought with his tongue for dominance…unable to locate his hands on her heated body. She smiled triumphantly when she was finally able to roll him over. Quickly, Ororo got rid of his jeans, not being surprised that he wasn't one for underwear. She gasped once more by the sight of him, feeling nervous and turned on at the same time. She knew she would never forget what he'd feel like. No other man, not even the few nights she'd spent with Kurt were a match to what Logan could offer her alone by seeing his throbbing member. With delighted pupils in heat, she bent down again, kissing him deeply and hungrily before she began to kiss and rub her way downwards. She heard him suppressing a moan as she took him into her mouth for a brief moment, before she straddled him panting heavily. Ororo smiled down on him, ran a hand over her curves and bit her lip as her hand cupped him gently to guide him. She had to close her eyes firmly when she could feel his head at her opening, as he suddenly grabbed her hips to make her stop.

Confusion was clearly written on her face as she met his gaze. "What…what's wrong?" Ororo asked him and felt how all the tension left him at once. She watched how he pulled her off of him to sit down on the edge of the bed and run a hand through his sweaty face and hair; keeping his head lowered. She didn't know what to make out of his behavior or the situation. Worriedly, she moved closer and laid a hand on his shoulder. "Logan, what's wrong?" she asked again and he shook his head.

"I can't…," was all he said and stared at the floor. "I'm sorry, 'Ro, but I can't…"

"Why?" she only demanded to know and furrowed her brows, when a thought crossed her mind. "Is it…because of me?" She watched how he cocked an eyebrow at her. "It's me, right?" Ororo said knowingly while she knelt next to him and lowered her head with a sad smile. "Of course it's me… How could I even think that a man like you would be satisfied with someone like me…"

"What are ya talking about?" Logan asked her and let his hands slowly sink when he furrowed his brows.

She looked at him with tears in her eyes. "I've seen how women look at you, Logan," she said and heaved a deep breath to hide her disappointment. "You can chose with whom of them you want to sleep, so why should you care about someone like me?"

He let out a snort in disbelief. "That's bullshit, 'Ro!"

"What is it then if it wasn't me who turned you off all of a sudden?" she asked despaired and looked at him again, but he turned his head away.

"I just can't, okay?" he grunted once more. "It had nothin' to do with ya…"

"Logan she's dead!" Ororo groaned and shook her head when she figured out the problem. "She won't come back! Do you want to live alone for the rest of your life and go on punishing yourself for what had happened?" She ignored the grim look he gave her. "Jean and you… There never was something for real. Why can't you just move on and let her go?"

"Because I love her!" Logan growled and grabbed her clothes from the ground angrily.

"She's dead, Logan!" Ororo said again. "You could have so many other women on your side and be happy, don't you realize that?"

He gave her a cynical smirk. "Who? You?" he asked and watched how she crossed her arms with an angry look on her face.

"Yes, me," she replied. "You don't realize it, do you?"

Sighing he sat down on the bed again with her clothes in his hands. "I've heightened senses, 'Ro. You don't really wanna know what they told me about you in the past weeks…"

"And?" the woman asked despaired with tears in her eyes. "Doesn't that mean anything to you?" she asked but didn't receive an answer. "I love you Logan! So how can you do this to me first and just leave me hanging?" she added crying and looked away.

"Would you've liked it more if we did it and I'd told you that I didn't think about you during it and that it won't happen again?" Logan asked her seriously. "I can't give you what you want, 'Ro and I said that I was sorry. I can't pretend to feel the same things for you than you feel for me…" Watching her when she turned her tear-stained face to him again, he reached out to touch her cheek as she evaded his touch quickly.

"No, don't even dare to touch me now!" Ororo sobbed and heard him sighing. "You could have said it right at the beginning, Logan! You could have just said that you don't want me and it would have been okay. But going that far and just push me away… Do you even know how much that hurts?" she asked him crying aloud and sobbed again when he handed her her clothes.

"Please go," was all he said and he didn't have to tell her twice. She quickly dressed again and headed for the door. "You knew how I feel, 'Ro. You knew it before and I can't do more than tell ya that I'm sorry," Logan said calmly before she left his room. Hearing how she ran down the corridor sobbing aloud, he sighed and ran a hand through his face. Sitting there for a while, his eyes were fixed on the moon on the outside and he stepped towards the window to look on a particular gravestone. "Why are ya doin' this to me, Jeannie?" he mumbled under a sigh and went back to bed; laying down in hope to find any sleep that night.

Only few hours later, he was already too far gone to notice that one gravestone began to split into two…

So, what do you think? I know it's different from what I've written so far, but well…blame my sleepless night for it. LOL Please review! ; )