At 28 John Paul McQueen sometimes wondered if he was getting too old to still be playing the DJ at the local nightclub. Not that this was his "normal" job of course. At some time since leaving HCC he seemed to fall into work at an accountants that provided him with a generous income that more that covered his needs. Even when taking into account the extortionate rent he now paid on the Manchester flat he had occupied for the last two years. But while his day-job paid the bills and gave him a comfortable lifestyle it was the one Saturday night a month spent as a DJ that fed his soul.
His love for music had never faded and he still got the same rush when he saw the crowds reacting to his choice of tunes. How he could excite them into a frenzy only to bring them crashing back down with a simple mix of tracks. He might sometimes feel he was getting too old for this but he never once seriously considered walking away from it.
John Paul had been playing this particular club for 18 months now and had gained quite a following. On the rare occasion when he was unable to fill his scheduled slot he was soon told how much he was missed and offered the next week, or the week after, or indeed any other time he could make himself available.
He smiled at the sight of the dancing bodies below the DJ booth. It was still quite early but already the regular crowd had gathered to succumb to John Paul's choices and to dance until the late hour meant they had to begrudgingly make their way home.
Holding the headphones to one ear John Paul smoothly blended one track into another. He still preferred to use vinyl and did so whenever it was possible but, as the years passed, he was finding less and less record companies chose to produce their music this way and was having to revert to more digital versions, which never gave him the satisfaction of mixing the tunes together that an old fashioned record did.
As it was still early John Paul had been indulging his own personal favourites and had pulled some old records from his collection. As he pulled down the dial to complete the change of tracks John Paul turned his gaze to the nightclub to see their reactions.
He smiled as the crowds below him continued to dance. It seemed that classic music never really went out of style. There were many familiar faces on the dance floor and John Paul felt gratitude at their continued support.
Then his eyes fell on a stranger near the entrance and he froze.
It couldn't be.
Not after all these years.
It wasn't possible.
Was it?
As he looked he could see the rich brown hair, longer than he remembered, curling gently over his shirt collar. Deep brown eyes that could always melt his heart. A full soft mouth with that mole, that unforgettable mole just asking to be kissed.
He was certain that his heart had stopped.
It was him.
It was Craig.
Distracted by the sight of the man before him John Paul's hand caught the arm of the record deck causing the needle to screech loudly over the record before plunging the club into silence.
There were some good-hearted cheers and applause from the crowd at John Paul's mishap and he fumbled clumsily to get the record playing again, his face flushed, but not with embarrassment.
As he looked up again John Paul saw those eyes looking directly at him. Those sensuous brown eyes. Craig's eyes.
---
Craig hadn't planned to go into the club but when he heard the music, familiar tunes from a past life, he seemed unable to prevent his feet from turning and taking him inside.
The club was much like any other around Manchester. Full of life and noise; a perfect place to lose himself in.
He was about to head to the bar when the music came to an abrupt and screaming halt as the DJ obviously knocked the needle across the record.
As with most of the club's customers Craig's eyes turned to the raised DJ booth and he felt his breath catch in his chest.
It couldn't be.
Not after all these years.
It wasn't possible.
Was it?
The dark blonde hair, the soft smooth skin, the strongly muscled (but not overly so) arms and, when the DJ corrected his error and looked into the crowd Craig saw the brightest blue eyes he had ever known. No matter how long he lived or how many people he met nothing would ever come close to the beauty of those eyes. Of his eyes. John Paul's eyes.
---
The two men stood locked in each other's gaze for an eternity. It was as if the rest of the club had been changed into soft focus, the volume lowered to a vague background buzz. All they could see was each other. Neither man moved, they hardly breathed, they just looked, looked into the face of the man neither expected ever to see again.
John Paul felt the familiar rush in his heart. It had been ten years since he last saw Craig Dean and he had long since told himself that he had gotten over the man. But now, faced with him once again, John Paul had to admit his heart had never let go of him, not for a second.
He swallowed hard as the memories of the last time he saw Craig came crashing back into his mind. Memories he had tried to block out, memories of a pain he had thought he would never survive.
He could remember standing alone in Liverpool's John Lennon Airport as Craig walked away. He walked away leaving John Paul to face life alone, to face their friends and families alone. He walked away and he never looked back, not once.
Craig felt like someone had taken all the air from the room. He struggled to breathe, to think, to do anything but stare. It had been ten years since he last saw John Paul McQueen and he had long since convinced himself that what they shared had only been a fleeting fancy. But now, faced with him once again, Craig had to admit that he still felt the same yearning, the same longing and maybe even the same love.
He thought back to the last time he saw John Paul. Leaving him had been so hard but at the time he had been too afraid to make any other choice.
He could remember leaving John Paul standing alone at the airport as he walked away. He had gripped his bag so tightly that he thought his fingers might break and he left. He walked away without looking back. He couldn't look back. He knew just one more look at John Paul would have broken his heart. One more look would have made him change his mind. Looking back was too hard so he looked ahead and walked as fast as he could, leaving behind him the first true love of his life.
---
Craig didn't know where he found the strength but finally his feet moved and he slowly approached the DJ booth. John Paul had changed the record again, acting on autopilot as his eyes hardly left Craig's face and, as he saw the man coming towards him, he left the security of the booth and met Craig on level ground at the edge of the dance floor.
Craig licked his lips nervously. If he had know John Paul would be here he could have rehearsed what he was going to say but the unexpected shock gave him no chance to think and he opened his mouth to let the words fall out in a random heap.
"John Paul," he stammered, "I can't believe you're here… how are you… you look great… how are you doing? I mean you look great so you must be doing well… how long have you been living in Manchester?"
Craig wished that John Paul would speak, would say something to interrupt his inane ramblings, but when the man finally opened his mouth it was only to say one word. The word seemed to be pulled painfully from his throat and he winced as it passed his lips.
"Craig…"
Craig felt his insides quiver at the sound of his name in John Paul's voice. Despite the volume of the music and the presence of the club's customers it was still loud and clear in his ears. The most beautiful thing he had ever heard in the longest time.
With a long forgotten instinct Craig reached his hand to John Paul's cheek, touching the soft cheek that he had once kissed, the smooth skin that he had once caressed.
John Paul was surprised to see Craig stagger backwards suddenly. It wasn't until he saw the blood coming from Craig's mouth and felt the pain in his knuckles that it registered what had happened, that he realised he had hit the man he once loved.
Craig's eyes were wide in disbelief. Of all the welcomes he had anticipated this one had never crossed his mind.
"John Paul… what??"
From nowhere strong hands gripped his shoulders tightly.
"He causing trouble JP?" a gruff voice asked.
Craig turned his head to see two dickie-bowed bouncers looming over him. They hadn't seen the altercation but they knew John Paul and if he felt the need to punch this man then there had to be good reason.
"It's OK," John Paul reassured him, "Unfinished business… but it's over now… he's just leaving."
"John Paul please…"
"Just go Craig…"
"I never got to say I was sorry."
"Go… please..."
"Can't we talk? Not here, maybe back at your place."
"I don't think my boyfriend would appreciate that," John Paul felt some slight satisfaction as Craig flinched at his words, "Now go… and don't come back."
Craig felt the tears begin to build in his eyes as he turned to leave, tears he couldn't let John Paul see. It seemed that at least one of them had been able to move on.
John Paul stood silently as he watched Craig's retreating back.
Again Craig left and again he never looked back, not once.
---
John Paul collapsed onto the sofa in complete exhaustion.
Usually after a DJ set he would return home physically tired but emotionally fulfilled, the love of the job and the excitement he felt each time he played a new tune far outweighing the ache in his bones or the sleep he craved after another late night. This night was different and he felt totally drained with an exhaustion he hadn't felt in a long time. He closed his eyes and rested his arm across his face as he leant back, letting the softness of the sofa take the full weight of his weariness.
He didn't move or open his eyes until he heard the familiar sound of a cup being placed on the coffee table before him and the warmth of another body taking the seat next to him.
John Paul opened his eyes and tried to smile at the man beside him, but the smile was forced and the effort made his cheeks ache.
Simon wasn't much of a clubber but he was always waiting at the flat for John Paul to get home, with a fresh cup of tea and open welcoming arms. John Paul felt a wave of guilt as he realised his thoughts had been totally occupied with Craig.
For two years he had shared his life and his home with this man and somehow in a matter of a few minutes Craig had managed to replace him in John Paul's mind.
As he looked into the soft grey eyes of the man he loved John Paul felt a tremendous sense of guilt. Those gentle eyes that had always looked on him with love and compassion, with understanding and desire, the eyes that had made him feel whole again, made him feel safe, the eyes that he thought he would spend the rest of his life looking into. This time when John Paul looked into them he was ashamed to admit that he wished it was those beautiful brown eyes looking back at him with love.
Simon could see an unusual weariness on John Paul's face and he wrapped his arm around his boyfriend's shoulders, pulling the man's head onto his shoulder and taking hold of his hand.
John Paul winced for a second as Simon squeezed his hand and Simon noticed the damaged to John Paul's knuckles.
"What's happened?" Simon asked with concern, "Was there trouble at the club?"
It would have been so easy to lie, to pass his cut and bruised knuckles off as the result of a bar fight and John Paul was tempted to do just that. But he had had enough lies in his life and he had always promised himself that he would never lie to Simon, he would share his life with the man completely, no matter how difficult that might sometime be.
"Craig turned up." Three simple words and yet saying them made John Paul feel physically ill.
"Craig?" Simon paused to let the words sink in, "THE Craig..?"
A couple of years earlier, when John Paul's relationship with Simon had moved onto talk of living together John Paul had finally been able to open his heart up completely to this man and had told him all about his troubled relationship with Craig. Simon knew just what that man had meant to his lover and the news that he had walked back into his life was nearly as shocking to Simon as he knew it must have been to John Paul.
"What happened?"
"I hit him. And I told him to leave... so he left..." John Paul's voice sounded heavy with a pain and grief that he had long since managed to bury until the sight of those two gentle brown eyes had brought it all back to him.
"You didn't talk to him then?"
"What could he possibly have to say after all this time?"
"You never know. It could have helped... you should see him again... talk to him." Simon hated making that suggestion but he knew that if John Paul didn't make the effort to speak to Craig again he would always be left wondering just what the man might have had to say.
"I don't know how to get hold of him... I don't think I'll see him again..."
"He'll be back."
"I doubt it - I told him not to come back."
"He'll be back," Simon repeated with confidence. He knew under different circumstances he wouldn't have been able to walk away, not even if John Paul had asked, not without speaking to him, not without making his peace.
As John Paul held the sleeping form of his boyfriend in his arms his thoughts strayed back to Craig. No matter how hard he tried to block them from his mind he couldn't help but wonder what had brought the man back into his life that night. Where had Craig been for the last ten years, what had he done and how did he feel after all this time?
John Paul knew how he felt, even if he wasn't ready to admit it yet, not even to himself.
---
John Paul sighed as the telephone rang. The caller ID showed that it was the club ringing and that could only mean that one of the other DJ's had been unable to make it that night and they wanted him to cover. Under normal circumstances the prospect would have filled John Paul with excitement, but it had been four days since he saw Craig inside those walls, and he wasn't sure if he was ready to go back there just yet.
John Paul picked up the receiver. "Hello?"
"JP mate, sorry to bother you," John Paul knew the voice of the bar manager anywhere and he was already thinking his excuses why he couldn't work that night.
"What is it?"
"That bloke, the one you thumped the other night… he's here again… actually he's been here every night since… we keep telling him you aren't due to work for a few weeks but he refuses to listen… D'you want us to bar him?"
John Paul couldn't believe what he was hearing. Craig was there now, waiting for him. Every night – waiting for him. Craig might have left again without looking back but this time he actually returned. He had returned for John Paul.
"JP you still there?"
"Yeah sorry I'm here… Look it's OK don't bar him… I'll come down… I guess the unfinished business still isn't quite finished… I'll be there soon."
From the snippet of the conversation Simon had heard he knew the reason that John Paul was already reaching for his keys and slipping on his jacket.
"He came back?"
"Yeah…"
"Told you he would…"
"Look," John Paul paused uncertainly, "D'you want to come with me."
Simon smiled, fully aware that John Paul's offer was one of consideration rather than a real desire for his company.
"It's OK," he said shaking his head, "You go, this is something you need to sort out yourself."
John Paul felt relief at Simon's answer, quickly followed by guilt at his relief. He brushed a kiss softly against the lips he had loved for the last two years.
"I won't be long."
"Take as long as you need…"
"I'll see you when I get home."
With that John Paul left.
"If you come home," Simon whispered sadly to the closed door.
---
John Paul spotted Craig the second he walked into the club. Even before the bar manager pointed him out instinct had told him where the man would be.
He walked slowly over to the corner table where Craig was sat with his back to the room. The man turned as John Paul approached. It might have been 10 years but somehow Craig still knew when John Paul was in the room.
John Paul winced as he saw the deep purple bruise surrounding the cut on Craig's mouth, a sense of shame and regret washed over him. Violence was so alien to John Paul's nature that the realisation he had inflicted this to another human being, much less to Craig, made him afraid that his emotions relating to Craig could still run so high.
Craig smiled around his cut lip. "I knew you would come... they said you weren't due for days... but I knew you would come."
"They called me and said you were here," John Paul replied taking a seat opposite his old lover, "What do you want Craig?"
"To see you... to talk to you... that's not too much to ask is it?" Craig reached out to take John Paul's hand but it was snatched away from him.
"Ten years Craig, you've waited ten years... why now?"
"That's hardly fair... it's not like I've know where you were..."
"You knew when I was still in Hollyoaks... you knew when you walked away from me... but you didn't feel the need to talk to me then..."
"I wanted to... I really did..."
"Have you any idea how long I waited Craig... but there was nothing, no letter, no phone call not even a text. You walked out and it was like I'd never existed. Every time my phone rang, every time the postman came I hoped that I would hear from you... but there was nothing... in 10 years Craig, not a single word and NOW you want to talk?"
"I wrote letters to you John Paul... so many times..."
"I never received anything ..."
"I never posted them," Craig's eyes were shrouded behind their thick dark lashes, "I started a thousand texts and deleted them, I dialled your number a hundred times and hung up before it connected. What could I have said John Paul? What could I have possibly said to make it better?"
"Three words Craig, that's all I needed, just three words to let me know you hadn't forgotten me... three words to let me know I still mattered to you but all I got was silence..."
"I'm sorry," Craig lifted his gaze to look into the cool blue of John Paul's eyes, "I was wrong... about so many things but by the time I knew what really mattered I'd left it too late... too much time had passed... I didn't know what to do..."
They observed each other in silence. Ten years had changed so much between them. Ten years had changed nothing between them.
"I got married." Craig blurted out the words as if they burned his mouth.
"Congratulations." John Paul's voice was heavy with sarcasm.
"Don't..."
"Isn't that what you're supposed to say when an old friend tells you their good news?"
Craig shook his head sadly. "I said I got married... not that I AM married... It didn't work out... nothing's ever worked not since..."
"I'm sorry to hear that... but wasn't that what you always wanted? The wife, the kids, the pretence at the normal life... everything I couldn't give you."
"I thought it was... I thought that was what I needed but I was wrong... about everything."
"Why are you here Craig, why now? What do you want from me?" John Paul felt drained. Simply being so close to Craig again was more difficult that he could have imagined. He was torn between a desire to run from the man as fast as he could and to hold him close and never let him go again.
"I didn't know you were here... not when I walked into the club the other day... I was just passing and somehow this place called me in… It was - I don't know... Karma? Fate?"
John Paul laughed. "Or maybe the Universe just has a really cruel sense of humour... why couldn't you have found me sooner? Why couldn't fate have lead you to me a couple of years ago?"
"So you DO have someone then?"
"Did you think I just said that to make you jealous?"
"I wasn't sure. Do you love him?"
The question took John Paul back years. He could almost feel the McQueen's kitchen cupboard against his back, like it had been the last time Craig had asked that question. He could feel his heart racing like it had when Craig asked that question about Spike.
"Do you love him?"
Back then the answer had been easy... "Not as much as I love you..."
But what was his answer now? He loved Simon, he really did... and Craig? So much time had passed could what he felt now still be called love?
"Well?" Craig was still waiting for an answer.
"Yes," John Paul said softly, "I love him."
Craig took a gentle hold of John Paul's hand. "I'm glad I found you again," he said quietly, "Even if it was only to get the chance to say I'm sorry."
Craig got to his feet and reluctantly let go of John Paul's hand. "Have a good life John Paul, you deserve it."
Craig turned and left the club. He left John Paul behind and, for the third time, he never looked back.
---
The chair beneath him felt cold and hard as John Paul watched Craig walking away again. A million voices seemed to scream inside his head, each one telling him to do something different. Go after Craig or go back home to Simon… two choices and either one of them could be the right one but how was he supposed to know?
He stood up suddenly causing the chair to topple over and crash noisily to the ground. He had to do something. He couldn't just sit there and wait for fate to decide, not this time. The only problem being that he still had no clue what he wanted to do.
Craig leant against the wall of the club with a sigh. The air around him was damp and cold but that wasn't what was making him shiver. There was a much deeper cold buried inside him that was chilling him to the bone and he thought that he might never feel warm again.
There had been so many times over the last ten years when he hadn't thought about John Paul for days, weeks and sometimes even months. But in the end there was always something that would bring those memories crashing back into his mind leaving him gasping for air and wishing beyond all hope that he had done things differently.
One day a song might come on the radio that John Paul used to play, or an old TV show would be running that he had once watched with John Paul and sometimes, the hardest of all, were the times he would catch a glimpse of bright blue eyes and imagine, just for a second, that those eyes were his, only to be disappointed seconds later when the man proved to be too short, or too fat… or too many other things that would make him not John Paul.
Walking into that club Craig had, for a moment, assumed that his mind was again seeing what his hearted wanted it to. But this time it had been John Paul. Without warning or preparation he had found him again, but he had found him too late.
John Paul had done the one thing that Craig still hadn't managed to. He had found love and he had moved on.
Craig's hands felt cold and clammy as he covered his face. Why had fate let him find John Paul now? Why now when all that was left for him to do was to walk away? Why now, when John Paul didn't need him anymore?
The hand that rested on Craig's shoulder felt warm. Not just the warm of one persons touch against another, not just the warm of the heat of one persons skin against the cool of the others but a heat that radiated through his body and made the cold inside him begin to thaw.
Craig didn't need to look up to know whose hand was touching him, giving him such heat, but he looked anyway. He looked into the dazzling blue eyes that had haunted his dreams, haunted his waking hours, he looked and he felt his heart ache with the knowledge that those eyes now looked on another man with love.
"I love Simon," John Paul said softly, "I really do…"
Craig let his gaze fall to the cold hard ground beneath his feet. Why did John Paul feel the need to come and tell him this again? Did he hate Craig that much that he wanted to make him suffer as much as he could?
"I love him," John Paul repeated as he placed his hand under Craig's chin and lifted his face to meet John Paul's level stare, "But that doesn't mean I don't still love you… I never stopped loving you no matter how hard I tried… It IS possible to love two people at the same time isn't it Craig? You know that better than anyone."
Craig felt elated at John Paul's words but at the same time he felt a pain for his old friend, his old lover. Loving two people was never easy. Choosing between them could sometimes be impossible. Was he really in any position to ask John Paul to make that choice? And if he did could he be certain that he would be the one chosen?
"What do we do now?" Craig asked leaning his face into the hand that still rested against it.
"I don't know," John Paul admitted sadly. "I don't want to hurt Simon… but I can't have you walk out of my life again… not again…"
"Then ask me to stay and I will… if that's what you really want."
John Paul couldn't find the words to answer but as his lips touched against Craig's they both understood his reply.
Craig's mouth felt as soft as John Paul remembered and it tasted as sweet. It was hot against his own and as Craig's arms pulled him in close John Paul experienced a tremendous sensation of falling, of falling so deep and so far that he would never be able to escape and he wasn't sure he would even try.
The pressure of John Paul's mouth against his own made Craig whimper slightly as John Paul's lips pressed directly onto the bruising he had received at the hands of that very man. But Craig didn't want the kiss to end, not for a second. Holding John Paul again, kissing him again, that was worth such a minor discomfort. John Paul still loved him and for the first time in as long as Craig could remember he felt alive again, he felt saved.
Neither of them noticed the man watching them from across the street. They didn't see the soft grey eyes filled with tears. They didn't see those same tears begin to tumble over the smooth cheeks. They didn't hear the sobs as the man turned away and made his lonely way back home.
They didn't see anything but each other. They didn't notice anything but how good it felt to be together again.
"Stay with me tonight," Craig asked breathlessly.
John Paul nodded. He couldn't let Craig go, not now. He couldn't be without him in his life again. No matter what the cost Craig was worth it. Wasn't he?
---
Craig's flat was on the third floor of an old Victorian-looking building but John Paul didn't notice that. The door to his flat opened into a small hallway with several doors leading off it but John Paul didn't notice that either.
The only thing he saw was Craig.
Craig Dean here in his arms. Holding him, kissing him and wanting him.
John Paul kissed the man in his arms with a passion that had built up with ten years of being apart. For ten years he hadn't been able to lose himself in the rich brown of those eyes, he hadn't been able to kiss those full soft lips and he hadn't been able to hold him close and feel their excitement grow together.
For ten years John Paul hadn't been able to share these things with Craig and now the ten years of need seemed to explode from him in a show of frantic desire as he held Craig hard against the wall, tearing at his clothes and kissing him so hard that Craig's split lip began to bleed again.
"Bedroom," Craig panted trying to indicate one of the doors in the hallway.
"Too far," John Paul insisted as he pulled at Craig's shirt, buttons scattering as they gave up their resistance to his urgency.
John Paul's mouth was hot against Craig's and he could taste the tang of copper as the cut on Craig's lip continued to bleed. John Paul licked gently at it, taking the taste of Craig's very life into his mouth, savouring it as Craig's tongue pushed its way between his lips to explore the depths of the mouth it had so long been denied.
John Paul took a hold of Craig's face in his hands and looked deeply into his eyes, into his very soul.
"Tell me that you love me Craig," he said with desperation, "Tell me this is worth it…"
"Loving you is the only thing that has ever been right in my whole life," Craig replied, "And I even managed to mess that up… I won't do that again… I love you John Paul… always… for the rest of my life."
John Paul's mouth collided with Craig's again. He wasn't sure if it was the reassurance of Craig's words or the urgency of his own body that drove him on but as his kisses grew more fevered and his hands explored every inch of bare flesh that he could find John Paul knew that his desire for Craig was strong that it ever had been before.
Craig moaned softly as John Paul's teeth nipped at his neck and his tongue heated the flesh beneath it to boiling point.
John Paul's hands tore at Craig's belt with desperation as he strove to gain access to the trousers that kept him from his goal.
Craig's hands fought their way underneath John Paul's top and his fingers clawed at his flesh as John Paul slipped his hand into Craig's boxers and gripped tightly onto the hard cock hidden inside.
"God Craig I want you so much…" John Paul panted, "I need you… I need to…"
John Paul's eyes were filled with lust and the very sight of them made Craig's cock ache. That John Paul still wanted him so much, still desired him and it was something that he wanted too, even more than he had realised until John Paul had touched him and reawakened the desires that he had kept hidden for so long.
"John Paul," Craig breathed, his hands now inside John Paul's trousers, caressing the hardness of his cock, stroking every inch of it as it pulsed heavily in his palm. "I need this… please… remind me how good this feels… how good you feel inside me."
John Paul kissed Craig again, his tongue swirling inside the heat of his mouth before turning the man from him and easing his trousers down below his hips.
"I've missed you Craig… so much." John Paul's breath was hot on Craig's neck and he could feel the length of John Paul's cock nestling between his buttocks, sliding slowly between them, making John Paul's breath even hotter.
"I used to think about this moment," John Paul whispered heavily, "I used to lie in bed at night thinking about you, dreaming about being with you again… but I never really thought… I never dared to hope…"
"God John Paul, I should never have gone… I should have come back for you… I never stopped wanting you…"
Craig's words died on his lips as he felt the head of John Paul's cock press into his tight opening. It had been so long but his body soon relaxed, remembering the pleasure that John Paul could give him, and allowed him to moved slowly inside.
John Paul savoured every inch of Craig's body as it opened to let his cock move deeply into him until he was completely consumed by the flesh he had never expected to touch again.
Craig whimpered and moaned as the long forgotten pain and pleasure mingled inside his body, as John Paul's cock filled him and reminded him of the physical joys he had long ago walked away from.
John Paul gripped Craig's hips as he moved slowly in and out of the heat that gripped him so exquisitely. He wanted to make the moment last forever, he wanted to stay deep inside Craig for the rest of his life and never let him go. But his lust had other ideas and it wasn't long before his pace increased until he was pounding hard into Craig, making the man gasp with each inward thrust as it drove John Paul's cock deeper into him.
John Paul's face glistened with the sheen of sweat that covered it and his body trembled with the excitement of being with Craig again.
Craig panted heavily as John Paul moved deep, hard and fast into him. He gripped onto his own aching cock and moved his hand over its length in time to the increasing speed of John Paul's thrusts.
The hallway was filled with the sounds of their moans as their passion grew second on second until they both knew they couldn't hold back much longer.
John Paul's teeth sank into the soft skin of Craig's neck as he plunged his cock harder into him, bringing his release ever closer.
Craig's cock throbbed in his hand as John Paul's cock slammed into him, hitting that perfect spot again and again, making him cry out with pleasure as his entire body shook and he came hard, repeating John Paul's name over and over as his cock spilled its heat over his hand, leaving him breathless and satisfied.
The sounds of Craig's cries and the trembling of his body were enough to push John Paul's over the edge until, with only a few more thrusts, he released himself inside Craig, moaning into Craig's ear as he came deep inside the body he never wanted to let go of again.
John Paul rested his face against Craig's back for a moment as he recovered his breath. His legs shook and, when he finally moved, he staggered backwards until the wall behind him was against his back, giving him the support he needed.
As Craig turned around he was smiling. He had been so certain that he had lost John Paul but now he was here, with him, and whatever else happened he never needed to be without him again.
John Paul adjusted his clothing as a feeling of shame crept up on him unexpectedly. How was it possible that he could betray Simon so easily? Was he really so weak?
The smile on Craig's lips died as he saw the pained look in John Paul's eyes.
"John Paul?"
The man looked at him. His soft blue eyes were confused and the sight of them drove a sharp pain through Craig's chest.
"Please John Paul," Craig begged, "Don't say it…"
"I'm sorry," John Paul said, "I can't do this… I'm not this person… Simon, he… he deserves better…"
"Don't walk away from me John Paul, please don't make me be without you again."
Craig took a step forward, he wanted to reach out to the man, to make him see that everything would be alright but he couldn't, he knew that this was something John Paul had to work out for himself.
"I don't know what to do…" John Paul's eyes glistened with unshed tears and his voice trembled with torment.
"Stay… stay with me…"
John Paul shook his head. "I need time," he said quietly, "I need to think…"
John Paul walked shakily to the door and opened it slowly. Craig stood motionless as he felt the happiness in his chest explode into nothing.
"Take my number," Craig said, "Call me when you're ready."
John Paul didn't answer; instead he stepped through the doorway and closed the door behind him. He didn't want Craig to see the tears that covered his cheeks as he began his journey home. Back home, back to Simon, back to the man he had just deceived.