The city is muted on the balcony. Spread before her, it glitters, and the energy of its inhabitants whirls as it always does, but the sounds of the traffic and the car horns and the shouting is so distant as to be imagined. All she can hear is her heart pounding, and she thinks if she listens keenly she can hear Will's too as he steps hesitantly closer. His face is so, so serious, and written all over it is love. (One of the things she'd noticed about him first was how expressive his face was, how he wasn't afraid to show himself.)
"I've never stopped loving you, was what I said," he'd told her just a moment ago. "In the voicemail. I wanted you to know that." She doesn't know what would have happened had she gotten this information when he'd originally intended it, but she's glad he is telling her in person now, and that it isn't too late. The quiet urgency in his low voice shakes her to the core.
"Mac?" She suddenly realizes that she hasn't said a word in reply. And here he is, looming over her, closer than he's been in years, and she is so stunned she can hardly move. "Mac, please say something."
"Will." She reaches out with both hands and realizes she's trembling. His body is so warm and solid before her, and before she can pull him closer he's wrapped his arms around her and she's home. She tucks her head in against his neck and breathes him in, and her heart feels like it's being magnetically pulled to his. "Will, I love you. I love you so much. I'm so sorry."
And all of a sudden his lips are on hers and it's everything she's ever wanted and more. Her memories of the way his beautiful mouth moves against hers do no justice to the real experience. It's hot and gentle and so, so needy that when they finally come up for air it's as though they've been drowning. And maybe they were, before.
He groans, deep in his chest, and her entire body is singing with the sound. She opens her mouth a little bit and suddenly his tongue is right there next to hers. She wishes she could crawl inside him. Her hands run feverishly over his shoulders. His arms are pressed diagonally along her back so that he can have one hand on her hip and the other in her hair, and even though he's pressing them so tightly together it isn't enough, not by a long shot. His mouth is hot and slick against hers, his lips soft and insistent. Their teeth clack together and it sends a thrill through her that she hasn't felt in such a long time.
After a while (she has no idea of how long, though their lives are divided in to four minute segments and thirty second breaks and she normally has a feel for time's passage she cannot get her bearings) he pulls back just enough to look in to her eyes. She can feel his breath, he's panting a little just like she is, and his hands are strong and steady, holding her in place. As though she could fathom moving away from him- she twines her arms more tightly around his body, to reassure him.
"Mackenzie."
"Will." She stretches up to kiss him again, soft and sweet, and she hopes he can feel the love in it. When they lean apart again she knows he has, it's clear upon his face again.
"Come inside, it's getting chilly."
Honestly, she hadn't noticed, but oh how she wants to come inside with him. Unfortunately they need to let go of each other for a moment in order to do that, but she squeezes him just a bit tighter before they both slowly untangle. She feels the loss acutely, but he's reaching for her hand almost immediately and leads her in to his apartment.
"I'm so glad you came over. I was worried that you wouldn't," he said, and she smiles softly at him.
"I'm glad too." They stand just behind the couch, the living room ahead of them and the bedroom to the left. Tendrils of anticipation are uncurling steadily from the center of her chest, and she turns to face him. He cups her cheek with his free hand and leans in once more to kiss her, peppering her lips with short kisses, one after another after another.
She sneaks her hand underneath his sweater (cashmere, black, so soft) at the small of his back. He gasps a little bit and his lips trail along her cheek to her ear, where he traces the outer whorls for just a moment.
"Come to bed with me?" He breathes.
"Yes. God, yes." Ten years ago she would have been horrified at sounding so desperately eager. Not now, never again. Her other hand lets go of his and joins its partner under the hem of Will's sweater, lifting the soft wool up and over his head. She kicks off her shoes, and he has to duck his head a little bit more to kiss her now. It thrills her how tall he is.
He's pushing her jacket off of her shoulders as he kisses her, and slowly they stumble toward his bedroom. His fingers trace up and down her arms while she pulls his shirt jerkily from his trousers. She's not at all gentle about it, and relishes the hiss he makes when she can finally reach beneath his shirt and splay her hands across the warm skin of his broad back.
He pulls back a little bit so that he can get his hands between their bodies. His fingers are sure as he slowly unbuttons her shirt, his brow furrowed in concentration. He lets it hang open for a moment as he stands there and looks at her, and then he softly runs his fingers across her collarbone, making her shiver. He follows his fingers with his lips, his breath so hot against her skin she's afraid she might ignite right there. He lays kisses all over her neck and pushes her shirt off of her shoulders so he can continue his work.
"Oh god, Will," she says, her voice breathy and hoarse. She eventually finds the coordination to start unbuttoning his shirt, she wants to see him, to touch him. He helps her with the final few buttons and tosses his shirt to the floor behind him. She presses her body against his and she can feel his erection through his trousers, insistent and so, so arousing. With a flash she can remember the weight of it in her hand, his silken skin so hot to the touch. She rocks her hips closer and rubs up against him just to hear him raggedly say her name. His hands are much less steady now as they fumble with the clasp of her bra. He tosses it aside too, and now his big hands are covering her breasts and she's sighing as his thumbs brush back and forth against her peaked nipples. Oh, she wants him, like nothing else in the world, and having him here, touching her like this and feeling the way he does is so, so perfect. He is perfect. She has to keep kissing him, she cannot get enough. He tastes like coffee and vaguely like cigarettes, and that used to bother her but it does no such thing now, she wants more.
Her hands are scrambling at his belt buckle now, and she slides the thick leather out of its loops as slowly as she can, just because she knows how crazy it makes him. He breaks the kiss and cups her breasts, trailing his tongue over the soft skin there before taking a nipple in his mouth. Touché. She crooks her leg and tries to wrap it around one of his, but her pencil skirt is too tight and she can't manage it. She unzips her skirt and shoves it down to the floor, now free to entwine as she so wishes. She tucks her ankle against the back of his knee and traces the outline of his hardness through his trousers. His tongue is unbelievable against her nipples, and he is making her dizzy as he teases and licks.
Suddenly he abandons her breasts, but it's all right because he's kissing his way back up to her mouth. She hugs him tightly as they kiss again, deep and passionate. The dusting of hair on his chest is tickling her already sensitive breasts, and it's driving her wild. She wants him naked, right now, and unzips his fly and pushes his trousers and his boxer briefs down in one motion.
"Oh my god, Mac. What you do to me, I-" She cuts him off by taking his cock in her hand, her fingers running lightly up and down his length. "Oh, fuck. Mackenzie. Fuck." She tucks her thumb beneath the head and rubs just a little bit, and the noises he's making are going straight through her. "Wait, I- oh christ. Wait," he implores after a moment. His knees are shaking a little bit as he's trying to control himself, and she doesn't need to read minds to know that he's reciting baseball statistics in his head. She gently lets go of his penis and rests her hand at the center of his chest- she definitely doesn't want to end this yet.
"Having you again," he says, after a few measured breaths, "is pretty spectacular, I've got to say." He curls his hand around her wrist and chuckles softly. "I almost lost it for a second there."
She smiles at him. "Better now?" She's verging on coy and playful, but the enormity of what's happening between them keeps her from teasing him any more tonight. There will be other times, she's sure of it. Though she almost giggles when he steps out of the pile of his trousers with his shoes and socks still on.
He smiles a little sheepishly, if Will McAvoy knows how to be sheepish. He toes his shoes off and leans over to pull off his socks, and when he stands up again he fixes her with a look of such intensity that she almost cannot breathe. With both hands on her hips he guides her to the edge of the bed, where he brushes their lips together again and encourages her down beneath him.
She is melting in to his body. The weight of him is so perfect, and as he shifts his hips and rubs up against her she moans.
"Let's get these off, shall we?" he says, hooking his fingers in the elastic of her panties. He rolls away from her for just a minute while she kicks them away, and, facing her on his side, runs his hand all the way up her thigh and in to her curls. "You are incredible," he says, parting her labia with his long fingers. He strokes her slowly, teasing softly at the entrance of her vagina. "Oh, Mac, you're so wet…" He closes his eyes as he teases the dampness of her, spreading the wetness all over her labia to her clit. His touch is both maddening and wonderful, and she spreads her legs a little wider to give him access. When he strokes inside of her, all she wants is more of him. She arches her back and tilts her hips as he rubs inside her, and it's nowhere near enough. He brushes his thumb across her clit and her whole body shudders, but it isn't enough.
"Will, oh, Will, please," she can hear herself distantly saying, over and over again. She reaches blindly for his head with one hand and pulls him in to a searing kiss, trying to encourage him to just get on top of her. He thrusts his fingers a little bit faster and then withdraws them completely, leaning away, and her eyes fly open. He's still there, but he's leaning over to the nightstand. Before she can sit up to help him, he's rolled a condom on and is crawling back over to her, kneeling between her legs. She spreads them wider as his hands brush her knees, and she feels like her heart is about to leap from her chest.
As he positions his body over hers, his face looks solemn. "Are you all right?" He asks, so quietly. All she can do is nod, meeting his eyes. He takes his cock in his hand and presses in to her, so, so slowly, and it feels like she is going to shatter in to a million pieces.
"Will. I love you," she says, her gaze never faltering. He's fully on top of her now, resting on his forearms, completely sheathed in her. She twines her legs around his, locking him against her, and rocks her hips against him. He is staring down at her with a look of wonder, as she imagined Hillary may have done when reaching the summit of Everest. His eyes never leave hers, even as he starts to move in her, and they are so, so blue. She runs her hands up and down his biceps, encouraging him and meeting his every thrust. He fills her so completely, there is no urgency or fear any more, just them, together. Nothing else matters.
He's moving a little faster now, and she lifts her legs to wrap them around his waist. He's starting to alternate deep thrusts with short, sharp ones, and her body is thrumming with more love and arousal than it knows what to do with. She gasps a little erratically, very close to orgasm.
Will reaches between them with one hand and rests it on her pubic bone. She moans his name, bucking her hips against him, and when he finds her clit with his thumb she begins to come undone. He rubs in circular motions, never quite matching the rhythm of his thrusts, and how he can manage to fuck her so thoroughly while being so far gone himself she will never know.
"Yeah, come on Mac, do it. I love you, I fucking love you, oh god." His movements are becoming jerky and irregular, but she knows he won't come until she does, if he can help it. She focuses intently on the fullness of his cock inside her, and how perfect he feels on top of her, fucking her in to oblivion. He suddenly rubs his thumb faster over her clit, and she comes so hard that she can't see anything but his blue, blue eyes. She's probably screaming his name loudly enough for everyone to hear, but he's right there with her, shouting her name at the top of his lungs. Only a few more thrusts until he buries himself deep inside her and freezes, his orgasm taking his breath away completely. She holds on to him and squeezes his cock inside her, still shocky from her own coming.
He pulls out after a minute or so and she's bereft. He tosses the condom in the bin and then lies half on, half off of her, and she welcomes his weight. Their hands find each other and their fingers knot together, and soon their breaths slow to the same pace.
"I love you," he whispers against her collarbone.
She kisses his forehead and tips his head up to look in his eyes again. "I love you too. You're incredible."
"Will you stay here?" His voice sounds small, but he looks right at her when he asks.
"I don't ever want to leave."
He kisses her again, the warmth of his mouth so tender against hers. "You don't have to." She can feel his smile before she sees it.
Outside the window the city is muted. From in here even the lights are dimmer, compared to his eyes. All that matters is right here before her.