CHAPTER ONE

I looked at the trees whirring past me. I was sitting on a stupid train on my way to Crapsville.

A stupid cat walked up to me, "Hi, I'm Rover! What time is it?"

"Dunno," I replied. I have indigo horns sticking out of the side of my head. I also have black eyes, an orange triangle for a nose, a camouflage shirt, and brown shorts.

"Can I sit with you?" Rover asked me.

"No," I said, putting my legs in the chair in front of me.

"Well, too bad," he said, karate-chopping my legs and sitting down facing me, "What's your dumb name?

"Ty."

"That's a dumb name!" Ha ha! Where are you going?"

"Crapsville."

"Man, that place sucks! Why the heck are you going there of all places!"

"Why do you care?"

"You're moving and don't have a place to stay! That's hilarious!"

"I never said that!"

"You meant it. Let me go tell my friend so we can laugh at you!"

Rover got up and went to the phone booth at the back of the train. I could hear him, "Hey, Nook! This dumb kid is moving to your crappy town and he doesn't have a place to stay! Isn't that fun! Ha!"

Rover and the Nook animal talked for a bit about how dumb I was. Then Rover came back.

"My friend is buying a house for you and then he'll sell it to you for an outrageous price. Isn't that great!"

"Here's my stop," I said, gladly getting off the train. When I got out of the train station, a fat raccoon ran up to me.

"Hey, you!" he said, running up to me, "You need to buy the crappy old shack I bought for you. Now pay up!"

"I don't want it!" I told him angrily.

The raccoon reached behind himself and magically pulled out a night stick. He beat me with it and took my wallet, "That shack is the only place that's available here so you have to live there," he told me, "You owe me 20,000 bells for it," he said, opening and looking into my wallet.

"20,000 bells!" I cried out, trying to stand up after being beat up, "I don't even want it!"

The raccoon hit me with his night stick and took all my bells, throwing my empty wallet at my head, "You only have 12,000 bells! You have to work it off! Come to my shop! It's called Nook's Cranny!" he yelled, and he magically disappeared to his shop.

I looked around and saw a map at the train station. I went over to it. There were little mini-maps to the side of it so I got one. Nook's Cranny- Acre A-1.

I ran over to his shop so I wouldn't be beaten. When I got there, he was waiting for me.

"That took you forever!" he cried out.

"It took me one minute, nine seconds, forty-eight milliseconds!" I argued.

"Here," he said, throwing paper and a pen at me, "Write a letter to Fang to come to my shop."

"I don't know who Fang is!"

"He's a gray wolf!"

"I don't know where he lives!"

"Find out! Now go!"

I left and thought about what to write.

Fang,

Fag-bag! Never shop at Nook's! He sucks!

Ty

I went to the post office, got Fang's address, and sent the letter. Then I went back to Nook's.

"Did you send the letter?" Nook questioned.

"Yes," I replied.

"Good. Now that you're done," he said, going to his counter, "It's time for this," he brought up an axe and walked towards me.

"What-W-What are you doing?"

"Giving this to you."

"Please. No!"

"Shut-up! You have to work!" he threw the axe to me, "Give this to Dizzy."

"Oh. Okay," I said, leaving. I walked to acre F-4, "Hi, are you Dizzy?" I asked a grey elephant wearing a yellow shirt with a blue five on the front.

"Yes," he answered.

"Here is your axe."

"Oh. Thanks," he said, taking it away from me and walking towards his house.

"Don't I get a tip?"

"Oh, yeah," Dizzy said, getting a bell and holding it out.

"One bell!"

"Take it or leave it," he said, kicking me and walking away.

So I took it and walked to the beach. There were shells at the beach. I picked them up and put them in my pocket. I walked along the beach picking up shells to sell when I saw a seagull lying on the beach. I ran over to him, "Wake up!" I yelled, violently shacking him, "Wake up!" I kicked him.

"Oh, hi!" he got up and looked at me, "A storm snatched me off the deck of my ship! Here," he said, giving me a giant leaf.

"It's a leaf."

"It's a magical leaf. Now, leave the acre and I'll disappear.

So I left and went to my house (aka shack). I threw the leaf to the ground. There was a poof and instead of a leaf, there stood a Manikin Pis.

"Great," I said, "I get to stare at a nude statue," I dumped all my shells on the ground for later and went back to Nook's. He was holding a night stick.

"Who do I deliver that to?" I asked him. Instead of replying, he started beating me with it.

"You… took… way…"

"Ow! That… hurts!"

"too…"

"Ow!"

"…long!"

"Ow!"

"Way… too… (ow!) long!"

He stopped beating me, "There. Now," he pointed to a leaf, "Deliver that to Pecan."

I went over and picked up the leaf. I got over to acre D-2 and knocked on her door.

A brown squirrel wearing a red check shirt opened the door, "Why do you have my chair?"

I looked at the leaf, "You mean this?"

"Duh!"

"I'm working at dumb-"

"Nook's! Ha, ha! You suck! I can't believe you didn't have enough for your shack!"

"I never said that! How!..."

"Why else would you work for him?"

"True. Here's your… chair. Bye."

"Hey."

"Huh," I turned around.

"You're a sucky fag-bag."

"Back at you," I said, walking off.

I walked a bit and then saw something white sticking up from the ground. I picked it up. It was a…

Pitfall!

I smiled and went to Nook's. I buried it right outside his door and ran behind a tree and called out, "FREE MONEY! FREE MONEY!"

Nook ran out and fell in a hole where the pitfall was. He screamed like a little girl and tried desperately to get out. I laughed at him, watched him for a bit, and went home for bed.

That night, I slept horribly. I just slept on cold, hard ground that made my back hurt. I was okay, though. The pitfall had been great fun.

Okay. How do you like my first chapter? It's not real long, but it's a start. R&R!