Always, Not Forever
Author's note: Sorry I'm falling so far being with WBPAG. I'm getting back to it tonight. And I'll be able to post within the next few days. This is a fic exchance with my buddy Davis.
"No one knows me like you."
This isn't true. Lucas knows her better, though sometimes she doesn't realize it. Once upon a time, Nathan did know her best. Then he stopped knowing. And stopped caring, right around the time he fell in love with her best friend. And then later, with her other best friend.
"That's not true," said Nathan, half smiling.
"But sometimes I feel like it. How's Haley?" asked Brooke half-heartedly, wishing she could bring herself to care. She doesn't. Haley doesn't care, either.
"This is the longest conversation we've had since... Since when?" he asked questioningly.
She throws back her head, and her long dark hair fell off her bare shoulders, the only part of her not covered by the thin cotton sheet.
"Since we were about six. Remember? We had nicknames. I called you Hot Shot and you called me Hazel. So original."
"You know, we should have hooked up then. It would have saved us so much trouble. We could have averted the whole Naley fiasco-"
"Wasn't a fiasco. You're in love with her," said Brooke, trying her hardest not to sound resentful.
"And the love triangle disaster. Things could have been simpler," he said sadly. Brooke swung a leg around and stradled him around the waist.
"Simple," she said, leaning down to kiss him, her hazel eyes sparkling with excitment, "Is crap."
"Nate?" came a voice. Nathan looked up and manufactered a smile as Haley walked into the hall to greet him. He loved her when he saw her and forgot all about Brooke. He couldn't help it. This was his Hales. He could love her forever.
"Hey," he said, leaning down to kiss her forehead as a third figure rounded the corner at a run.
"Daddy!" she called in excitement.
He grins. This child would be enough for him to suffer torment forever. It's impossible not to love her.
Dylan Scott flung herself into her father's arms and laughed as he swung her around. He thoughtfully appraised her as he set her down. Her long blonde hair was all Haley, but he was evident in her: her big blue eyes, her height. She was tall, slim and lanky, and blended the two of them perfectly. And he was the centre of her world.
"Want to go shoot some hoops?" he asked. She nodded eagerly, and he slung an arm around her shoulders.
"Is it okay, Mom?" she asked.
Haley Scott rolled her eyes and planted a hand on her hip.
"Of course. Dinner's in ten minutes."
The two of them ran out to the basketball court in the backyard. Nathan wished he'd had time to shower, to disguise Brooke's nonexistent scent. He glanced over his shoulder to find Haley staring at him, as if trying to discern something, or trying to find a way to say something she didn't know how to ask.
Nathan looked on in pride as his daughter easily made a three pointer. As much as he loved any woman, he'd always love his daughter better. In so many ways, she was his actual soulmate. He knew she'd always love him. He didn't know Haley would. He did however know that he didn't deserve it.
Ten minutes later, the two of them ran in to sit down at the table. Nathan paled as he saw the occupants of the table.
"Aunt Brooke!" said Dylan happily, sailing into her arms. Brooke sent Nathan a helpless look as she held her neice in her arms.
"Sorry for ascending on you like this, Haley. Lucas insisted," said Brooke, playfully rolling her eyes. Nathan inhaled deeply and shook his brother's hand, careful to avoid his eyes. He assured himself in the way he always did: his marriage was falling apart. Brooke and Lucas had been together ten years without getting married. Lucas had never really loved her.
The five of them sat down and began to eat. It was easy for them. They'd fallen into a pattern. It was easier if Peyton and Jake, their kids and infinite happiness were around, but by themselves they could still handle it.
Dylan followed her mother into the kitchen with the dishes as the meal finished, and Lucas wandered in the direction of the family room, expecting his brother to follow him.
"Nathan? What are you doing here? Go find Lucas," said Brooke dismissively.
She was sitting on the toilet seat, her face in her hands. He crouched down to her height and took her hands in his.
Her beautiful face was covered in tears, her eyes red.
"What's wrong?" he asked gently.
"Lucas asked me to marry him," she confessed. Nathan slowly stood and backed away from her.
"That's so bad?" he asked, his voice strained.
"Baby, I can't believe it's gotten this bad," said Brooke, slowly standing, her eyes now burning with passion.
"What's so bad?" he asked. His eyes were small in his face.
"I'm in love with you."
"That's so bad?" She took a cautious step toward him, holding her arms behind her, holding herself vulnerably.
"Yes," she said. He walked toward her. "It's very, very bad."
Nathan placed his hands on her hips, trying to remember the last time he'd felt this feeling. She gasped in surprise as he pulled her hips toward him and then pushed her up against him against the wall.
Interlocking her hand with his, he lifted it and held her fast against the wall. He kissed her until her lips swelled and held off until she was breathing deeply in desire.
"It's not bad, Brooke. Nothing's ever been better. Because I'm in love with you too, Hazel. And it's never been better than this."
They kissed as footsteps came up the hall, as a female hand opened the bathroom door. As the warning sound of bare feet on the tiles should have warned them, as a gasp came. It was only her scream of horror that broke them apart.
"Dylan," said NAthan, his horror mathing her own. Dylan, the centre of his universe, had just heard the most passionate declaration of love he'd ever made. Dylan, who's world he was the leader of.
"Daddy?" asked Dylan, her voice tiny and childlike.
"What's the matter, Dyl?" asked Haley, calling up the stairs. Dylan moved her lips, but no sound came out.
"She fell. She's okay," called back Nathan.
"I'm not okay. I'll never be okay, you sick bastard," she said, backing away. He reached for her, but his hands closed on air.
Brooke ran after her. He sank down to the floor. It was over. His illicit relationship, his daughter, his wife. His life was over.
But he couldn't face it. He ran down the stairs and out the door before they could stop him.
Hours later Nathan was on a bar stool, sickened with himself, horrified with the world. Dylan would tell Haley. Haley would leave him. Or maybe not. Maybe she'd forgive him, stay with him forever, preventing any of them from being happy ever again.
At midnight he drove home. Drove home disregarding the dotted lines, half hoping he'd get in an accident and drive into a barricade and smash his car into smithereens and provide his wife and daughter with the insurance money.
Fate was against him. Or for him. Or for Haley. He couldn't think straight.
He paused as he reached the front door of his house. It was a red door. It was hopelessly ironic.
Knowing she was there, knowing she always would be, he turned around and met her eyes. The hazel eyes he'd known all his life. Tears streaming down his face, knowing who he was going home to and always would be going home to. She wasn't the sort of girl that men would spend their lives going home to.
She mouthed something. He couldn't read her lips.
He turned around as a bus came around the corner and she walked on to it. Brooke hadn't rode a bus since she was ten years old. She didn't know where she was going. He didn't know either. But somehow he knew he'd never see her again.
Haley was sitting at the dining room table, waiting for him.
"Dylan..." he began, waiting for her to deliver his sentence.
"Don't worry. She told me you had to handle an emergency at work."
Nathan sunk into a dining room chair. Dylan would never tell. So they were at the second option: none of them ever letting each other be happy.
"Are you okay?" he asked. Maybe he could run after Brooke. Maybe Haley could fall in love with Lucas. Maybe it could end.
"I'm better than okay. I'm pregnant," she said.
Maybe it was over.
"That's great."
She moved around the table and he took her in his arms. She sighed and rested her head on his shoulder.
Swinging her into his arms, he began to make his way upstairs. She let her head hang back and her long blonde hair trailed to the ground. He knew that she didn't want to tonight, but they would. This is what they'd do tonight, and to greet every upcoming one of their following children.
He paused at his daughter's door. She was sitting on her bed, facing the wall. As they passed, she looked over her shoulder at him and met eyes. He knew again that she'd never tell, and for the first time the impact that she'd never love him again surrounded him.
"Sweetie, go to bed," said Haley blushingly.
Haley turned her face away and smirked at Nathan, who was still looking at Dylan, who was still looking at him.
Baby, I can't believe it's gotten this bad...