A/N: Hey everyone! This was my first Castle Fanfic, so I was re-reading it the other day. But, then, my computer deciced to freeze up on me. So, feeling quite angry, I started clicking all oover the screen, and accidently clicked the delete button right when my computer unfroze. So, I have decided to edit and repost this story, which works because there were also several different issues that needed to be fixed because this was written on my IPod Touch. Everything is for the most part, the same, unless I find small pieces I feel should be edited.
The lights went out first. Her dazzling brown eyes which had once seemed sharp and alert had slowly melted into doe-eyes with a hint of a mischievous intelligence that he had learned to love. Of course, her eyes had been closed since he had uttered those words he wished he could have had the courage to free earlier. But he knew. He knew by the slight shift of her eyelids that she was gone forever. Her winged figure was drifting towards the sky, and he would never again hear her laugh, watch those honest eyes roll towards the ceiling at one of his murder theories, or feel the heat of her body next to his as he attempted to listen to Esposito's update across the phone, which was pressed to her ear.
Next went the heartbeat. The screeching of a heart stalled, the paramedics calling frantically, Lanie's sobs while beating Kate's heart for her, in a rhythmic and robotic manner. Castle would never tell Lanie, but it made no difference. The light was gone. Those expressive eyes that held his with such an intense and pensive expression would never open again.
Without those eyes, she was a beautiful woman lying on the stretcher with critical blood pumping out of her body. But awake, she was stunning. Not just brains, not only beauty, but the perfect blend of the two. She was Kate Beckett, the smart and savvy detective at the NYPD. The very woman that stolen his heart.
Kate was rushed into surgery before he could say his final good-bye. The next time he saw her, he knew she would be sewn up, white and unmoving. Dressed in a crisp uniform, Rick guessed she would be buried near Montgomery, gone for eternity from this world, her life stripped away at 31, before she could marry, have kids, put her mother's case to rest, and lock up more of the evils that plagued the city. He walked into the hallway between the Ambulance drop-off and the nearest surgery room, where Kate had gone. Her blood was scattered along the floor, making it slippery. He paced along the hallway until a thin stain of red covered the entire floor. Nobody came to clean the blood up, but when a doctor came to tell him what he already knew, he left. Wandering the halls like a lost child earned him many looks of sympathy, yet he kept searching. He didn't know what he was looking for, only that he'd know when he found it. And when he finally did, it was worse than he imagined.
Figures dressed in black were sitting in a sea of black chairs. Many vases of flowers sat around the mahogany coffin. A row of Police Officers dressed in their traditional mourning uniforms stood in a line. Ryan and Esposito stood directly in front of the casket that held the lifeless body of their friend, partner, and colleague. Tears were dancing freely down Ryan's face, yet Esposito appeared calm on the surface. But, Castle knew that is you looked a little deeper the denial would rear its ugly head, along with its good friends agony and terror. But none of those was of interest to him. What he cared about was the figure walking towards the coffin.
Long, wavy brown hair flowed freely behind her strong torso. Her tan skin was bright, healthy, and glowing. Kate Beckett turned and smiled at him as she proceeded, and the state of her eyes struck him. The look she gave him was kind and intelligent, yet obviously humored at his bewildered expression. But something pulled her eyes from his. Her stare was now aimed at a thick folder resting on the coffin, but all Castle cared about was that Kate Becket's eyes were very much alive and radiant.
His joy was short lived.
The dark figure sat huddled in the corner, his gun trained on her. Kate was oblivious to his finger moving towards the trigger. Castle tried to run at her, but his legs refused to cooperate. His scream came out dry and hoarse, if at all. He started towards her, but his eyes fluttered, making it impossible to see. He stumbled blindly towards the one he loved, but she had reached the limit. Kate's index finger brushed the cover of her mother's thick murder folder, and the shot rang out. Castle ran forward, but when he reached her the life was already starting to drain out of her dulling eyes. "Kate! Stay with me Kate, okay?" He whispered. "Kate I love you. I love you Kate." He assured her, this time with more confidence in his voice. But it was pointless. Her eyes had closed, and he knew it was only a matter of time before the lights went out and her precious heart quit its essential beating. Soon, the doctor's announcement would come again, then her funeral, and him never getting there in time. Richard Castle was trapped in the unending cycle of Kate Beckett's death.
Rick jolted upright in bed, forcing his eyes to open and erase the image of Kate's limp body that still hovered on his eyelids. His breathing was heavy, and he was surprised to feel the tears rolling down his face. He couldn't think of the last time he had cried like this, been this afraid. Grown men weren't supposed to cry because of a bad dream. As hard as he tried, he couldn't shake the feeling that Kate Beckett was indeed laying in a coffin in the ground. So, he leaned over and grabbed his cell phone, and pressed speed dial #3, Kate Beckett. She picked up on the third ring, and never had such a sound been as welcome to his ears as her deep, full breathing.
"Castle?" She asked, the grogginess in her voice hiding most of the surprise. "Is something wrong?"
"No, everyone's fine." He hesitated, not certain how to proceed. "I just needed to talk to you."
"Okay?" She prompted, asking for more information, information Castle wasn't sure he could figure out how to say.
"I-I just... I've been having nightmares. You get to the hospital, but they can't save you. I go to your funeral, but then you're there, alive, but then, I can't warn you in time, and you- the gunman-" His voice betrays him once he gets to this point, and he cannot find the energy to continue. Another tear rolls down onto his pillow.
"Hey, hey... Castle. I'm right here, I'm just fine. I'm alive, and so are you. 'Kay?"
"Yeah, I'm sorry I woke you up." Castle mumbled, somewhat embarrassed by his childish reaction.
"Hey, you need to talk? We could meet at that coffee shop just down the street from my place; we could get something to drink." Kate offered.
"No, I'll be fine for now. I just-I just needed to know you were okay." He finally admits. "But would you like to meet for breakfast at the coffee shop at eight for breakfast?"
"Sure, Castle. I'll see you then." She says with a tone of finality that indicates their conversation is coming to an end. "Bye." He's about to hang up when suddenly, when the words escape from his mouth.
"Hey, Beckett?"
"Yeah?"
"Thanks." He hopes she can hear the gratitude in his voice, and understand just how much it means to him.
"Always." She replies, and he can feel the small smile lingering on her lips. They both hang up, and before he knows it, Castle is fighting to keep his eyes open. He reluctantly succumbs to sleep, but there are no more haunting dreams, just the anticipation for breakfast.